"Why does the past always seem safer?
Maybe because at least we know me made it.
And why do we worry about the future
when every day will come just the way the Lord ordained it?"
~~Chris Rice, lyrics from the song Eighth Grade

Hi all,

I know this has been an emotional week for many of us in the U.S. and with connections to the States.  I'm thinking of you all and praying for you all and, of course, for those in and around Boston and also West, TX. 

Maybe because of that, I've pretty much firmly parked myself in Dyeland mode as far as JABB is concerned.  I'm working on 2 stories simultaneously so this newsletter is really thrown together... and over half-written by my younger self.  Nothing like making your twenty year old self do your work for ya!  I haven't done a "Jenni and Jenni Write JABB" since... wow... October 2009.  But today I'm bringing it back!  Enjoy... or cringe.  Or do both like I am.  ;-)

God bless,

Jenni and Jenni Write JABB: The First Post TBAA Months

May 26, 2003 to July 28, 2003

Confession: I'm pretty sure previous installments of this were "warts and all" because the warts were pretty much just me being a super geek.  But this installment would have involved some totally not fun things if I hadn't done some editing.  Short sanitized version: I (and I know others) were very disappointed and sad when some news stories came out concerning the actor who played Zack in the TBAA finale.  So I ranted (you're spared reading that) and then became obsessed with the movie Joshua based on the books by Fr. Joseph Girzone.  I think I was trying, in a way, to mentally record Zack over with Joshua.  So... I'm totally skipping over the Zack debacle and starting with Joshua then proceeding from that lovely place of carpentry goodness.  All brought to us by my old Livejournal.  For anyone new to this feature, basically I just go through my old journals and separate out the entries concerning John, TBAA, and/or JABB then comment.  Sometimes I'll throw either only tangentially related things in like...

Monday, May 26th, 2003

Subject: Carpenters' hands

Okay, anyway, about "Joshua"... So I was in a mood when I started watching it, hoping it would cheer me up. It made for some interesting viewing. I was really into it. I mean I was noticing people's birthmarks and little hand movements and... It prolly would have been creepy if I weren't really tired. Now this was right after I'd posted about all the bad guys I knew of or knew. There was this one scene with Joshua working on this statue of Peter and I was just staring at his hands. You could see a lot of veins. They reminded me of my Grandpa's hands, only younger. He was a carpenter, too. And a painter and a plumber and an electrician and... a lot of stuff. He was a really good guy. He was always really patient with my Grandma.

I don't know. The whole thing seems kinda silly now but it seemed important at the time.

Current Mood: melancholy

Me in 2013:

So I'm starting here because, well, reading that made me tear up a little remembering my Grandpa.  But it also struck me because as a result of the TBAA weirdness, I rewatched Joshua (numerous times based on other entries not included here).  I'm sensing a theme...  While 2003 was difficult, 2011 was infinitely more trying and sad.  And so what did I do?  Brought in JABB's own version of Joshua.  That seemed an obvious solution to me but I'd totally forgotten that I'd kinda sorta done the same thing back in 2003.  Well, if you're gonna be redundant... may as well be redundant with Joshua.  :-)  I'm really glad, though, that with 2011 I really started to blend Joshua into the stories... not just have him in the back of my mind.  Because what's better than just Joshua?  Joshua AND Andrew.  :-)

Sunday, June 8th, 2003

Subject: Back to TBAA

Well, I decided to sit down with a couple of episodes from 4th season. The first episodes I've seen, I think, since the finale aired. I was kinda worried to watch them because I thought one of two things might happen. 1. I'd start crying. 2. I would think of Zack and how completely ruined that character is. In reality, I teared up a bit when "Great Expectations" started with a close-up of Andrew. Didn't think of Zack for more than a second when Monica was praying. So, it was good.

I intend to watch more tonight, though. I'm sure watching "The Pact", "MDWA", and "How Do You Spell Faith?" will be of great help. Yay Andrew!

Current Mood: okay

Me in 2013:

Aww...  I totally forgot that I really did have a hard time watching TBAA for a bit after the issues.  I still love the close-ups of Andrew in GE...  Here's one now!  Yay Andrew!  ;-)

Wednesday, June 18th, 2003

Subject: Crazy dream about YKW

It wasn't like bad or anything it was just obsessively detailed and really odd. Shoes going missing and YKW (begins with A, ends with W) living next door. I did not want to wake up this time. Well, I mean not right when I did.

I must really not like my neighbors to the one side, I'm forever replacing them in my dreams. Last time it was Dr. Cox and his wife and the baby.

Current Mood: melancholy

Me in 2013:

::fidgeting::  Oh geez...  What did I dream about?  I'm thinking it's not a good thing when I refer to Andrew as YKW.  But before I move on... for anyone confused the Dr. Cox reference is from Scrubs, a show I was really into in 2003.  So moving on...


Subject: Self-indulgent sulk

I had a dream about Andrew last night. So I was kind of out of sorts when I woke up, angry that the alarm hadn't let it finish. I got my report card grades so I know he wasn't there because of that. He was just there. I guess I had been thinking about him yesterday.

I have many memories as I walk through the halls at school. Most of friends and acquaintances but there are a few of Andrew. I say this because I don't want people to think he's all the place reminds me of. He's a minute portion of it but that's the segment I'm going to focus on.

I was walking through the cafeteria and remembered it was there that two friends had told me about "The Journalist" which I had missed. It was in the same room that I got angry at a friend for announcing to the entire lunch table that I had a crush on Andrew before I was prepared to admit it even to myself. I'm not really attracted to blondes and, well, there was the angelic thing not to mention the fictional thing. That was before I realized I would only ever really have crushes on fictional characters. It was in the small theatre that I wrote an assignment, a letter from an unnamed angel in a story we read. I signed it Andrew Wings. That was freshman year. In the business office that had once been the main office where I worked, I remembered sitting there alone after the secretary told me someone had called for me and that it may have been about my Grandpa though she could give me no more details and scared me. That was when I heard his voice coming from my memories, or maybe from elsewhere. "On one side there is life..." That was sophomore year. Later, it was in that same place that I found out my Grandpa had died. I hadn't thought about that til just now. The exact same place. Months later, in the gym I listened intently to another girl as she told me about "The Pact" which I had missed because of power outtage. We giggled and blushed when she talked about Andrew wearing shorts. That was junior year. Come senior year anyone close to me knew I loved that show, though possibly not to whom my greatest appreciation fell. So I posted quotes and photos from the show in my locker. In the pottery room I talked with the girl who had then been my closest friend and who is now a stranger. We talked about our favorite shows, hers was "X-Files" and she loved Mulder. It was to her that I first mentioned something of JABB, though not much. We joked about what we would do when the shows ended. Black arm bands and all. It was there I said I didn't worry much. By the time my show ended I would be out of college and then I might be too busy anyway. I have two years of college left...

Current Mood: contemplative

Me in 2013:

I wanna know details on that dream!!!!!!!!!  Geez.  What the heck was going on that I didn't write em down?

Oh well.  Reading this was really bittersweet but mostly sweet.  I'd totally forgot that the "crushes on fictional
characters" thing dated back to then.  I can't for sure explain why but I think it had something to do with feeling like it was wrong to say I had a crush on an actor when I didn't actually know that actor and, thus, was really only basing the crush on public persona which generally meant the characters they played.  One wonders if I actually knew the definition of "crush."  It doesn't really imply a deep, personal connection and understanding of the crush.  I definitely had (and have!) a crush on John (who I believe I've even referred to as the Crush of Crushes)... and also Andrew and Doc Hock and...  Not Manion.  Definitely not Manion.  Ha!

To date my old high school is still pretty Andrew and John saturated to me.  In fact, when I eventually write that Dyeland story about bullies... guess where it's set?  And Andrew's classroom will be the same place where I wrote the Andrew Wings letter (an assignment we were given after reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez's phenomenal A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings: A Tale For Children.  Just cause I loved that room.

In the days following John's death, I thought a lot about that incident when the secretary unwittingly freaked me out and I heard the wonderful "On one side..." quote.  That still comforts me so much.

Sunday, June 22nd, 2003

Subject: Creative rut

I think I need to figure out some new system with JABB or something. I started to write what I thought would be really funny but instead turned into a lot of sap. I'll have to send it as is cause I don't have time for a rewrite. But I have to stop letting the sappiness seep in.

It's just weird to think I watched that show for nearly half my life and now it's gone. Nine of my 20 years. And that I've spent a fourth of my life writing JABB is... lol Wow. Well, I should be getting ready for bed.

Current Mood: melancholy

Me in 2013:

Well, now I don't feel so bad about sometimes still getting into ruts.  :-)

Here's the JABB I wrote.  Sure, it's sappy.  But I actually kinda like it still.


I wonder what twenty year old me would make of some of the sap fests I write these days...  Poor girl.  And, for the record, I've now been watching TBAA for 14 of my 30 years and have spent... wait for it... half my years writing JABB. 

Thursday, June 26th, 2003

Subject: 27 days...

In 27 days I will be 21. I didn't really think much of it until I had that dream about Andrew. Considering how much I liked him, I dream of him pretty seldom. When I do, it usually means something. Like when I'd dream about him right around finals or graduation. I knew something was up when I dreamed this last time. I felt different when I woke up. Like something had come to an end. I think childhood has officially ended.

I didn't much think about it til a couple nights ago when I got the hiccups and couldn't get to sleep. So I got online and, for want of something better to do, started a search to see if I could find any info on the Joshua sequel. I didn't find much. But something had rumor of a prequel with a young Joshua. Not sure how I'm supposed to understand "young". My initial reaction was "No! He has to be older than me. He's always older than me!" Then it really hit me. In one way I was right. Joshua, the real one, will always be older than me. But that's not what I meant. I meant he should always look older than me. Like my Dad always looks older than me. If it's meant to be, one day I'll be 40. And he wouldn't look older than me cause when I think of him I think of him as mid to late 30s. So then I thought, what if I live to 80. Then I'll look older than my Grandpa as I remember him. This is just really weird stuff... I suppose I'll just have to have some sort of crisis at age 34 or at least 38. That might be fun. ;-)

Current Mood: pensive

Me in 2003:

What the heck was in that dream!?!?  ::having visions of self scouring actual hardcopy journals later to find out::

Also, I totally forgot that at one point there was talk of a Joshua prequel or sequel.  Now I'm kinda glad that didn't happen.  I think I needed to kinda go searching for Joshua myself... not just watch films.

And I kinda suspect 21 year old me was the one having a crisis...  Although I will admit that I do sometimes still have a hard time realizing that I will, in all likelihood and one day soon, have lived longer than 33 years.

I no longer think childhood officially ended there.  I think lil bits of it lingered and then fell away.  But then sometimes bits come back, too.  So that's good.

Sunday, June 29th, 2003

Subject: TV Trivia

It was the weirdest thing! My TV company has this channel where you get a set of 20 TV trivia questions a week. So I was doing those and the third question was "Which seraph was the "Angel of Death" on "Touched by an Angel"? Monica, Tess, or Andrew. Then the fourth question was "On "Beauty and the Beast" what animal did Vincent's face most resemble?" Lion, panther, or tiger. I just thought it was odd. I think Andrew and Vincent are stalking me... :-)

Current Mood: amused

Me in 2013:

Sometimes it's good to be stalked.  :-)

Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
Subject: Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Okay, so I totally deleted all the graphics for the JABB pages and my own pages. I thought I was *copying* the gifs into a clip art program. Turns out I *moved* them. So they were still all there just on a CD ROM in all sorts of categories and no longer in the appropriate folder. So I spent a couple hours here fixing that... Also, put all my LJ pics on there by mistake. So all my family members can see my psychotic Andrew icon. Thankfully, I caught that... Then turns out I never backed up my own webpages. Geez! I have no idea how, in my fervor to back things up, I skipped that. I'm almost glad this happened despite it being completely annoying because after the Talkcity problem, I'll be lucky if I don't have to totally redo my pages again eventually. Anyhow, not sure if any of this makes sense. Have been really tired for the past 8 hours. Intended to get to bed early but didn't happen...

Current Mood: annoyed

Me in 2013:

Something to think about... I no longer remember this incident at all.  So there's a lesson: definitely don't sweat the small stuff... like gifs.  It is funny to think, though, that for so long all JABB had was gifs.  No photos!  Ack! 

Oh and I'm not positive but I think this is what I meant by my "psychotic Andrew icon."

Fun.  :-)  Although I don't quite get why it says 1997 and not 1996.  Hmm...

Sunday, July 20th, 2003

Subject: Inventory

So I'll be 21 Thursday. I guess I should look at my life. Before I do that just a warning that if I start to sound maudlin, don't be alarmed. I am okay. I feel kinda giggly but cannot deny that there wasn't some definite eye leakage while watching TBAA earlier (Pandora's Box, gosh Andrew looked manly bashing that puter) while I was arranging my TBAA articles and stuff. Anyhow, here goes...

Friends- Really okay. Internet friends are good but do continue to worry some of the people I don't talk to really regularly will disappear even more frequently with TBAA's cancellation.

Romance- Non-existent as continue to be attracted only to: men with the last name of Darcy, disturbed men who look vaguely like "Jesus" (the white/fake version), and one particular angel of death who I'm getting increasingly sappy over at points. All being fictional. Plus side is have not been dumped, cheated on, or "should take a break and see other people". Negative side is THEY'RE FAKE.

Psychological- Up, down, all around. But figure anything is better than complete break with emotions circa October of 11th grade. Plus it compensates for boringness in other areas.

Room- Very good. I think I may need a new filing cabinet though. Can then put extra bookshelf where old filing cabinet is and new filing cabinet (with one extra drawer) by air vent. Also, ceiling is painted which makes me much happier. On negative side air conditioning still does not work so cannot spend much time there. Oh well.

Family- Love having Joshy around this year. He makes me much happier. So cute. I think I could be happy unmarried, devoted to a fictional angel, and being mother to pound puppies. Has slightly romantic tinge to it. Bonus points if I can somehow leave behind lovelorn letters to Andrew behind for people to find when I die. When I'm older I mean. Just thinking it would be jolly good fun watching from Heaven as people try and figure out who Andrew was.

Religion- Good. Still at odds with my church but then that may change soon with impending change of priest. That and numerous other disappointments caused good bonding experience with members of the Trinity though. Yay. Won't say much else as would get way too lengthy.

Well, that's it for now. Back to TBAA scrapbook and, well, maybe TBAA. Would like to watch a CB movie but will prolly cry because I get depressed watching those alone since I only watch them with friends. Besides, Andrew...

Current Mood: nostalgic

Me in 2013:

I had to majorly edit that one... especially the Friends and Family sections... so as to protect folks' privacy.  Good ol' Joshy.  I hope he's kicking back cream sodas in Heaven with his Namesake.

I'm really amused by the fact that nearly 21 year old me thought it would be "jolly good fun" to screw with my descendants' minds via faux love letters.  I'd be lying if I didn't say some part of me doesn't still think that'd be darn hysterical.  But I promise I won't do that.

And Andrew DOES look darn manly in "Pandora's Box"!

And to my Internet friends reading this: Thanks for sticking around or finding your way here.  :-)

Monday, July 21st, 2003

Subject: Birthday fun- Part 1

Well, today one of the ladies at work gave me my "reject" birthday present. It was intended to be part of my actual present but then she thought it looked sloppy, or something. I thought it was fantastic. It's a wall clock that she recovered in this adorable frog material. So cute! I would have been happy with just that.

Then I went to the mall with Grandma and Mom. I was under the impression we were only returning something for Mom but turns out we were shopping for me. I was *not* in the mood but eventually got into it. Ended up with three skirts and seven shirts. All for under $100. One shirt, alone, was originally $54. Insane! There were some brief, scary moments in the men's section. Mom and Grandma were looking for a shirt my brother wanted. Me? I was looking at clothes and thinking "Andrew'd look good in that... Ooh and that sweater, too..." I completely OD'ed over the weekend. I watched a few episodes of TBAA and made a scrapbook with all the clippings I kept from the show. Plus with it being JABB's anniversary... It was all very Andrew-centric. Sigh...

Current Mood: pleased

Me in 2013:

Awww.  I forgot about the "reject gift."  I'm looking at it right now.  It's hanging in this room and I still think it's awesome.

Anyhow, I included this one because I STILL go shopping like that.  In fact, not terribly long after that, I started buying clothes for Andrew and then donating them to a homeless shelter.  It was so much fun.  I need to do that again sometime.  I also like this one cause I like revisiting how in a mere two months I went from avoiding TBAA to ODing on it.  Yay for ODing on TBAA! 

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003

Subject: One more day til 21...

So I feel like I should be allowed to indulge myself. So I watched another Andrew-ific TBAA episode. Tonight it was the one where the kid wants to divorce his parents. Geez, it's too bad Andrew couldn't father lovely fake children. But I'll rewind a bit.

It was cooler today so we opened the windows in the house. I hadn't opened mine yet but wanted it to be at least somewhat cool while watching the show. Went to open the window. Wouldn't budge. Tried again. And again. Suddenly heard cracking noise and realized window had broken. With my hands on it. Had vision of Tony Goldwyn getting impaled in "Ghost" and was freaked out my hands would have been sliced up in like manner. (Why it didn't occur to me that my hands didn't actually hurt, I don't know). Anyhow, amazingly I only have two tiny spots that look more like I stabbed myself with a needle, one tiny cut, and a larger one where only a layer of skin sliced a bit. So no blood. I was stunned cause that thing just shattered! Thank God cause if I had really cut myself I'd have prolly passed out and that really woulda caused some damage (to room and self). Oh yeah, got my ID with no problem at all! Anyhow, that's enough for now, still have to pick out tomorrow's outfit. Also, goal list for tomorrow:

Get new filing cabinet and switch files from old one.
Label video tapes, there's only like 3. You can manage that.
Have bank start emailing me balance statements.
Think of Andrew themed message for chalkboard. Putting a pink heart around his name will *not* suffice and could scare people...

Current Mood: happy

Me in 2013:

My love for open windows lingers.  I just opened mine now for the first time in a while.  And holy cow...  I totally forgot about the window breaking.  Scary.  Definitely had an angel with me on that!

To date I still use John's projects as "prizes" and "indulgences."  It's funny to read these and really get just how long some of my habits have been going on.  And the chalkboard?  No clue what I put on it for my birthday but currently reads "I am what I am."  Doc Hock (and Popeye) would be proud, I think.

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003

Subject: Underage drinking

Well... this is it. After I wake up tomorrow I can never, ever be accused of underage drinking. I made it. Nothing for a whole 21 years! Not that I think this is a particularly great accomplishment, just weird to think about.

Anyhow, I plan to spend my last night as a 20 year old watching another Andrewish TBAA episode and weeding old files out of my filing cabinet since I could not find a larger one... But I did get my bookshelf together. And label the videos.

Tomorrow they're taking me to a great restaurant for lunch. Yay!

Current Mood: good

Me in 2013:

Now... if underage drinking had referred to caffeine...  I would have been a delinquent.  That was funny to read.

I'm glad I spent my last night as a 20 year old watching Andrewish TBAA.  And organizing.  I can't remember exactly but methinks my last day of my 20s involved a bit of both, too.

Sunday, July 27th, 2003

Subject: Blah... Too hot

It's after midnight and still 90 degrees in my room. And I want to sleep but I know I'll just toss and turn in that heat. So I got back online and I was staring at the temperature icon in the corner with a heavenly 68 degrees displayed. And so then I just started thinking about Andrew after having typed "heavenly". Too bad it's too hot to go and watch an episode... I hope I can get an air conditioner or something to help the situation...

Current Mood: hot

Me in 2013:

And now here I sit so tired of the cold...  Lovely, heavenly Andrew...  So I did get back to sleep and the next entry is one heckuva dream.  Though not the dream I kept going on about above... that one's still a mystery.

Subject: Andrew and Monica sitting in a tree...

I had the weirdest dream last night. Probably caused by watching TBAA in an attempt to forget my room was really hot.

I seemed to have been watching TV because not only do I remember the action "on-screen" but also my own running commentary about it, like I was separate from it. So I seemed to be watching TBAA. Monica and Andrew seemed to have, well, died. But I don't remember being sad just "Huh?" That's only the way I interpretted what happened. But I never saw anyone die or anything that might lead to death (violence, health scare, etc.) Now I realize one or both of them could have been dreaming, what followed could have been some sort of alternate view like in the episode where Satan shows M her life as a human, and others. But I remember thinking "That's weird. When angels die they become human cause when we die we become like angels." What brought this on was when the show came back both of them were asleep in a normal type of bedroom. Which was mildly creepy but since everything stayed at the TV-G level I won't make an issue out of it. When they woke up they didn't seem at all surprised. I was like "Umm..." So they got up, started getting ready for work or something (what type of work they would now have I don't know). Monica noticed her skirt was a little tight. Suddenly Tess comes in and tells her she's pregnant. Yay Monica and Andrew! Andrew was so cute here. I remember thinking "Well, the shippers will be happy." Everyone's happy, I'm excited to see what will obviously be an adorable baby but at the same time thinking "Umm..." Then suddenly it shifts again. Andrew and Tess are gone. It's just a rather distraught Monica and some woman. Monica starts crying and seems to have gone amnesiac again. She tells the woman she can't remember who/where her father is. What?!? I know! I know! End credits roll and there's a stupid voiceover. "TBAA will not be returning next season but watch for our two hour movie in (some month) when (name of woman in previous scene) helps Monica search for her father." So I'm thinking maybe the whole M and A married bit was Monica trying to fit together how different people figured into her life. Like she had a memory of A and T but wasn't sure who they were and since she didn't know she was an angel she put them in slots as if they were all human: husband and friend. I was just happy cause even though it seemed rather insane, the show was coming back in some form. And I somehow knew Andrew was going to be in it then. 0:-)

Current Mood: touched

Me in 2013:

That makes me kinda sad...  Cause, of course, TBAA never did come back.  And, for the record, while I was never a shipper, I do feel like an episode like the one I dreamed about would have been fun/interesting.  Mostly I feel like it woulda been funny to see the preview for the allegedly married Andrew and Monica, watch people flip out (myself included), and then realize it was a huge fake-out. 

Interestingly, I've actually now had dreams like that where I've slated people I know in life into different slots.  I'm pretty sure you've all been my sisters a time or two.  ;-)  And I think once John was our RA...  And he wore all black and sorta looked like he did in "The Comeback," I think.  Apparently I felt like we all shoulda gone to college together.


Subject: Weird TBAA-related question

Okay, just pretend for a second the show is real. I was thinking about this last night while watching TBAA and Andrew said/did something very "Joshuan". Okay, we have the Trinity. The Father is obviously Andrew's father. But what about the Son? I generally think of the Father as my Father, Jesus as my Brother (though still also Father in some ways) because He has the same Father (though in a different way) as the rest of us and is human. But Andrew is not human. So would Jesus be Andrew's father or brother? LOL I know, I should just go right to sleep when I start thinking this kind of crazy stuff. This may partly have been what caused my dream.

Current Mood: amused

Me in 2013:

I was seriously just thinking about this!  So... I really have no idea how actual angels relate to actual Jesus.  But here's the way I conceive of the Andrew and Joshua relationship: Joshua is Andrew's brother but it would sort of be like if my parents had another baby now.  I would be the baby's sister but given I would have been a fully cognizant adult from the first news of the pregnancy on... I'd also sorta feel like a third parent.  So, yeah, Joshua is Andrew's fatherly brother.  Where the metaphor breaks down is whereas I would have had nothing to do with the creation of my hypothetical sibling, I do think Joshua had a hand in Andrew's creation (and all of creation for that matter).  As for what the division of labor, so to speak, was with the Trinity...  Something to ask in Heaven!


Subject: I am using this icon way, way too much

Okay... So I've really been in an organizing sort of mood so I started taking inventory of my books but all that typing started to get to me. So I switched to organizing my filing cabinet. I was in my school file when I came across a homework assignment from 8th grade that I was supposed to write from an angel. Naturally I signed it with Andrew's name. Promptly burst into tears upon finding it. Granted it could have been the sad music playing on the TV show I was watching. Also coulda been that Freshman year was rather hideous but I kinda doubt it. Almost half my life I spent watching that show at some level or another... Just ignore I'm in a mood. Give me a year or two and I'm sure I'll be just fine. :-)

Current Mood: sad

Me in 2013:

I meant 9th grade, not 8th.  And that was the same letter I alluded to above.  So... I've given myself not just another one or two years but nearly 10.  Still not over TBAA.  Or Andrew.  Or John.  Totally cool with that.  :-)

I'm not positive but I think this may have been the icon I was talking about.  The icons didn't get saved correctly so can't be sure.

Monday, July 28th, 2003

Subject: Ladidadida....

Almost time to go home. Everything was rushing by for nearly the whole day until I ran out of work about an hour and a half ago. Oh well. I started working on this idea for JABB which kinda helped. Naturally I'll have to run it by Aud first but I think it could be fun. I'm considering it JABB's "sweeps". Depending on how this idea goes, I'll either want JABB to continue or discuss "cancellation" with Aud. Sometimes I just get the feeling I'm writing for myself alone. But that's enough of that. Maybe I'll email her now about it before I forget.

Current Mood: excited

Me in 2013:

Okay, it's time to fess up...  JABB was canceled in 2003.  You've all been living in an alternate world in which JABB continues, trapped in a snow globe I keep on my bookshelf.  Muahahahaha!

;-)  I really have no idea what my big idea was.  But obviously I decided not to cancel JABB.  I wonder if maybe it was the Andrew on trial for murder story?  Or maybe just really getting into Dyeland mode?  Dunno.

Well, I shall end there on that "not really a cliffhanger" cause this got way longer than I intended. 

Now... this newsletter is dedicated to John being super awesome as Andrew in "Beautiful Dreamer."  April 26th is Promotion Day and since a newsletter won't be sent then, I wanted to acknowledge it here.  I have loved that episode for a long time just cause I thought John looked super cute in the period clothes and because the episode just really touched me.  As I think about it now, I'm drawn to how Andrew came to realize that beauty can come from failure and that there is hope and light even in the face of tragedy.  Big thanks to John for reminding us of those truths in so many ways, so many times.


JABB 382

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from Touched by an Angel and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)