Yvette's CD Recommendation

"You can't deny laughter; when it comes,
it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants."
~Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

Hi all,

Well...  this issue didn't turn out quite like I intended it to.  For those who don't know, I purchased a
house last Tuesday.  So I've been crazy-busy with paperwork and insurance quotes and paint swatches.  All that with work thrown in!  Usually when I get time crunched I write some Dyeland bit as Lady JenniAnn since those remain the quickest issues to write.  However, I've not even had time for that.  I considered taking a page from JABB 96 and sending ya'll a rerun but I decided to only partially borrow from it (see the note below). 

Anyhow, I'm making this excuse for myself, I got someone else to make an excuse for LJA again, and I'm throwing in the lone top ten I was able to throw together in honor of the "Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn't then Was" which is today.  Enjoy!

God bless,

PS- If anyone feels they've been completely cheated outta a proper JABB 219, perhaps the Season 4 TBAA photo gallery I've begun work on will ease your sense of betrayal.  ;-)

PPS- Happy Mother's Day to all the moms!

Dear JABB readers,
Please excuse my goddaughter and cousin, Lady JenniAnn Dwynwen Chandler, from this JABB newsletter.  She has become very busy watching repeated episodes of a television show entitled "Prison Break."  I am informed she intends to make practical use of what she learns from the show in the event Andrew is ever falsely imprisoned again.  I am frightened... 

JenniAnn urges me to assure you that regular JABB newsletters will resume in two weeks. 
I need to go now.  She is trying to bake a metal file into cornbread.  I smell smoke.

Be well,

Top Ten Things You Should NOT Do if Andrew is Arrested
10.  Inform TPTB at the jail that orange and/or black and white stripes do not become Andrew and attempt to get them to switch to something like tourmaline or sea foam.  I'm thinking it's a no-go.

9.  Try to recreate Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison concert to inspire Andrew and his fellow prisoners.  A nice thought, certainly, but I'm pretty confident Tess will pitch a fit if you try to sing "Jackson" with Adam.  And Monica will try to sing "Joe Bean" thinking it's about coffee.  It's really, really not...

8.  Insist that you be Andrew's one phone call from jail and then just spend the entire conversation sobbing and banging the phone on the wall in anger.

7.  Show up with a Monopoly "Get Out of Jail Free" card and inform the warden you'd like to use it for Andrew.

6.  Show up at the jail and inform the warden you're there for a conjugal visit.  That's just so wrong...

5.  Immediately set to work writing a screenplay about Andrew breaking out of jail and then stalk Morgan Freeman until he agrees to narrate your film.  (Does anyone get that one???  I love that movie.  ;-)

4.  Along that same vein, don't buy Andrew a racy Rita Hayworth poster.  That's gonna look real suspicious to any guards who might read Stephen King or watch movies adapted from his writing.  (Seriously, if you've not seen "The Shawshank Redemption" you MUST.)

3.  Scour the jail for signs of Eric Manion or Bob, that loser from "The Billionaire Boys Club," so you can play a live game of "Date, Dump, or Marry?- Angel of Death, Pervy District Attorney, or Lame Yes-Man Notary."  (For the record, my answer would be date Bob just long enough to berate him a bit for being a murderous pushover, dump Manion for being one twisted guy, and, naturally, marry Andrew for being Andrew.  Swoon...)

2.  Wear a T-shirt that says "The angel of death I'm madly obsessed with was falsely imprisoned and all I got was this stupid shirt."  Not only is that a lil long for a novelty T-shirt but do ya really wanna broadcast that one???

1.  Try to raise bail money by having a lemonade stand with a sign reading "Get the Angel of Death Outta Jail!!!"  Believe me, you're gonna get funny looks and people will misinterpret that.  Also, you'll be forced to appear on "Oprah" to explain why you're drawn to murderers.  And Oprah will interrupt you a lot.  Like she did John Dye.  But you might get a new car or at least a copy of "The Secret" so, who knows, may be that's worth it to you. 

(Sigh...  Don't ya just wanna hug him???)

JABB 220

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)