Jenni's CD Recommendation

"One unquestioned text we read,

All doubt beyond, all fear above;
Nor crackling pile nor cursing creed
Can burn or blot it: God is Love."
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Hi all,

I've been working on the Photo Gallery on the site pretty extensively for the past couple of weeks.  It's made me think about how many roles John's played and how JABB doesn't really give any of them but Andrew their due.  So I've decided to try to do an Andrew-free newsletter and instead focus on his other characters.  You think I can do it?  ;-)  Do you think Lady JenniAnn can do it?  We'll see cause I've opted to write the rest of this newsletter as my Dyeland counterpart.  Enjoy!

Also, for those of you who read the online version of these: Increasingly often I've been using fonts I downloaded from  This particular one is typed in one of my personal favorites: Apple Butter.  So I'm going to try to remember to include the name of the font at the bottom of JABB web pages in case anyone is interested in expanding their font collection and/or seeing these pages as I see them. 

God bless,

Greetings all!

I have decided to try an experiment!  Don't look so scared.  I promise it doesn't involve any heavy machinery.  I've decided I'm going to try to go a whole day with out mentioning or having any contact with that blonde angel guy.  I can't even say his name.  Instead, I'm going to be contacting the other real people that John Dye has portrayed: see what they're up to, how their lives are going, and all that jazz.  First up...  Todd Barrett made famous in the movie "Campus Man."

::dials phone::

Woman's voice: Todd Barrett's office.  How may I help you?

Me: I'd like to speak to Mr. Barrett, please.  Tell him it's a friend from Duluth, please.  (Note: Just so ya'll know, Duluth is code for our Dyeland.)

Woman: One moment, ma'am.

::ringing, then a click and some scuffling noises.::

Todd: Can we lower the towel?  Just a little.  A half-inch may be.  Still not right.  How about some red boxers?

Me: ::coughing:: 

Todd::  JenniAnn, is that you?  I'd recognize that uncomfortable fake coughing any where! 

Me: ::blushing::  Yeah.  Do I even want to know what you're doing?

Todd: Oh, you know, a calendar.  This time Duluth's Hottest Postal Workers.  And I mean really Duluth not... you know.  I was confused when you called this time. 

Me: Sorry.

Todd: Hey any chance Adam and Andrew are getting on board with that "AOD of the Month" calendar?

Me: ::sputters::  Wh-what?!?

Todd:  I didn't think so.  So how are they?

Me:  Adam's good.  Just finished a long-term assignment.  The other guy's doing well.  Looking well...

Todd:  "The other guy"???  What's the matter?  Did you have a fight with "the other guy?" 

Me: NO!  If you must know I'm attempting to go the whole day with out talking to him or mentioning his name.

Todd: ::laughing::  I think I may need to call Skip up and see if he wants to take bets on this one.  I think you'll break by... 1:27 PM.

Me: ::laughs::  That's pretty exact.  We'll see.  Anyhow, so I'm spending the day catching up with some of the rest of you.  So how's life?

Todd: Great!  I've published 20 calendars this month alone.  I'm also working on a self-help book.  I'm going to help people develop entrepreneurial skills over a 12 month period.  It seems appropriate for a calendar titan, right?

Me: Oh so you fancy yourself a titan now?  ::giggles::  Hilarious, Todd.  But that's great. 

Todd: ::chuckles::  Oh you know that ego of mine...  ::crashing sounds::  Yikes.  I have to go.  Mr. February just found out Mr. July is having an affair with his wife. 

Me: Oh dear!

Todd:  Such is life.  Listen, you have fun catching up with everyone and not talking about You Know Who.  Tell everyone in "Duluth" hello for me.  Catch ya later, kiddo.

Me: 'K, bye Todd.

At that point I decided to call Skip, the guy from "Making the Grade," myself.

Skip: This is Skip. 

Me: Hey, Skip.  It's JenniAnn.  From Dyeland.  How are you?

Skip: ::indistinct talking::  I'm just great.

Me: ::confused::  Skip, did you just check with your old school buddies before answering "How are you?"  Couldn't you answer for yourself?

Skip: ::pause::  Go Hoover Academy!

Me: ::rolling eyes:: Skip, c'mon.  Don't be such a follower.  I want to know how you are really.  So?

Skip: ::more indistinct noise::  I'm in the bathroom now.

Me: ::embarrassed::  I'll call back...

Skip: No, I'm just hiding in here.  I can talk.

Me:  Why are you hiding in the bathroom now?

Skip: So I can talk with out the other guys hearing and telling me what to say. 

Me: Skip!  That's horrible.  This is your home.  Tell them to leave if you don't want them around.  You shouldn't be holed up in your bathroom just to carry on a conversation.

Skip: But how will I know what to wear with out them? 

Me: Wear whatever you want!  Skip, you're over 40 years old.  It's time to live for yourself.  Step out of Bif's shadow. 

Skip: I'll try.  There's something I've been wanting to ask you.

Me: Yes?

Skip: What do you think of the status of contemporary memoirs?  It seems to me that with so many claims to our attention, authors have to ensure they have a gripping story in order for their books to be marketable.  And the public eats up a juicy, troubling memoir.  So can we really blame the authors when it comes out that they exaggerated or fabricated entire incidents in their alleged memoirs?  Are they just giving us what we demand?

Me: ::stunned:: 

After I recovered from the shock of realizing Skip was actually an intellectual, we had a 45 minute discussion about truth in writing,
avant-garde theatre, and the Joyce Hatto classical music hoax.  Then Skip had to go shopping for pink and green sweaters with Bif. Sigh...  Poor guy.  I then opted to call Mr. Bill Morgan at his office.

Bill: Bill here.  How can I help you?

Me: It's JenniAnn.  I'm just checking in.  How've ya been?

Bill: ::silence:: Okay.

Me: Is something wrong?

Bill: It's just last time I talked to one of you Dyeland people she flipped out in my office and demanded I tell her how to make Andrew fall in love with her.

Me: ::laughing:: Oh yeah!  I heard about that.  Hilarious!

Bill: For you may be.

Me: Oh now, it couldn't have been that bad.  How's the family?

Bill: ::relaxing::  Great.  Kyle and Brittany got straight A's last year in school.  Right now they're at summer camp.  Our youngest, Holly, is really starting to talk.  Kristin's a great mother.  How's everyone there?  Andrew?

Me: I can't say.

Bill: ::curious::  What do you mean you can't say?

Me: I'm trying to go a whole day with out talking about him or thinking about him or writing about him...

Bill: ::laughing hysterically::  Wow.  Really?

Me: Yeah.  I took the time I'd usually spend, umm, gazing dreamily at that person to call Todd.  He's doing well.  Was breaking up a fight, though, between a couple Mr. Months.  Skip... turns out he's a frustrated intellectual.  Who knew?

Bill: You're kidding!

Me: Nope. 

Bill: So let's go back to your resolution.  A whole day?

Me: ::sighs::  Mmm hmm. 

Bill: So how's that working for ya?

Me:  What are you?!?  Dr. Phil now???

Bill: Kristin enjoys him.  He makes some good points.  So?

Me: Good.

Bill: That was vague and not quite believable. 

Me: I called to talk about you, Bill.  To give some of the John Dye fans some news about you. 

Bill: In that case, business is good, family's great.  We're going to Palm Springs for a vacation after the kids get back.  Then I think we might get a dog.

Me: I got *him* a dog...  ::sighs::

Bill: Then I think we might invite the Easter Bunny over and TP the neighbors'.  Or may be go skinny-dipping.  No, I think we'll reserve that for when Lucky the Leprechaun stops by. 

Me: ::absently::  Fantastic.

Bill: Later, Labor Day Leo and I are going to start our own heavy metal band.  We're going to call ourselves the Unholy Graphix Designers.

Me: Awesome.

Bill: After that Halloween Hal and I are going to run around Andrew's yard in grim reaper costumes.

Me: ::snapping to attention::  What!?!?  Andrew!  NO!  BILL!

Bill: ::laughing::  That did the trick.  Tell your readers I'm doing great, my family's doing great and you... go call Andrew.  Some resolutions aren't meant to be kept.

Me: Okay...  So much for a day with out Andrew.

Bill:  It was a noble effort.  Take care.

Me: You too.

So then, of course, I did call Andrew.  But I'm keeping the contents of that conversation to myself.  A lady's entitled to some mystery, right?  For the record, I didn't break until 1:29 PM.  Take that, Todd!  I lasted 2 more minutes than you thought I would! 

Anyhow, may be I'll get around to calling some other people some other time.  But there's the info on Todd, Skip, and Bill.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go put some ginger ale in the fridge to chill.  *He* is coming over to chat!

Fare thee well,
Lady JenniAnn

JABB 221

(Font: Apple Butter)
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from (top to bottom): "Campus Man" owned by RKO Pictures, "Making the Grade" owned by Cannon Film Distributors and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, "Once Upon a Christmas" owned by Ardent Productions, Legacy Filmworks, Lincoln Field Productions, Sterling/Winters Company Studios, and Viacom Productions Inc., and "Touched by an Angel" owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)