Here to Listen to
"Return to Innocence"
Hello! I hope everyone had a happy and blessed Easter, Passover,
and/or week of spring. Before we get into the newsletter I suppose
Audrey and I have a few things to clarify. First, JABB is not canceled
as our last issue made it seem. Second, neither of us is married.
Third, if and when we do get married we feel fairly confident in
guaranteeing that our husbands' initials will not spell out either the
words April or Fools. Thanks. Onto the newsletter!
During these past few weeks one can't help but look at history and humanity and wonder at the cycles that we call time. Life, death, and rebirth are a part of everything from farming to religion. However, did you know that in JABB's short lifespan it has gone through its own highs and lows and periods of time? Here is just a brief overview of JABB's history.
1. Year 1- Jenni and Audrey each have notebooks labeled "J.A.B.B." in which they write down the Top Tens and jokes that occur to them through out the day. Every two weeks they find themselves ready to send a newsletter without any trouble at all!
Year 2- One of the co-prezes emails the other one a week in advance announcing the impending deadline for the next JABB newsletter, a week away. Finally the co-prezes come up with the newsletter. Inevitably these newsletters feature characters like the mysterious V, Tommy Ergo Life, and countless others who are decidedly not either Andrew or John.
Year 3- The co-prezes frantically search for their old "J.A.B.B." notebooks hoping to find something they haven't yet used. When this fails they write the newsletter and send it hoping no one notices its lateness. The third year also refuses to be out done by Year 2 and Vincent, JenniAnn's new guardian, and Cliff the Magician become crucial parts of plotlines.
2. Year 1- Audrey and Jenni proudly introduce themselves as J.A.B.B.
Year 2- Audrey and Jenni drop the periods because they just take so much time, you know.
Year 3- The JABB Co-prezes often go by Aud and Jen cause dropping "rey" and "ni" are major time savers!
3. Year 1- Newsletters center a great deal around A/J's hair and clothing.
Year 2- Low screentime angst dominates the newsletters.
Year 3- President Andrew and his kingdom in Dyeland have an increasing role.
4. Year 1- Newsletters are almost immediately put online and Jenni painstakingly picks colors she thinks are pretty, sometimes even drawing pictures for them.
Year 2- Newsletters are put online every couple weeks. The hand drawn pictures are replaced by much more economic royalty-free animations.
Year 3- "Uhhh, I'll put the newsletter online during my next break or maybe the one after that....."
5. Year 1- Newsletters revolve around creativity.
Year 2- Newsletters involve our beloved mascot Chiwawa. (NO! You CANNOT eat him Kiwi!)
Year 3- Newsletters are written by our beloved mascot Chiwawa, his wife Chimama and their puppies. (Yelp! Yelp! Ruff! Bark!)
6. Year 1- Jenni
finds herself watching countless episodes of TBAA every week and naming
stuffed animals and pets Andrew, Andy, Drew, and John.
Year 2- Jenni becomes frustrated with the lack of Andrew time and makes up a magical land named Dyeland because she can see Andrew there.
Year 3- Jenni's obsession with Dyeland grows and she gets caught blushing during a 7th Season episode of TBAA by her father. Embarrassing.......
8. All three years-The co-prezes still look back in amazement at the night when it all began and ask "WHY! Oh God WHY?!"
THIS JUST IN!!! ANCIENT SCROLLS FOUND IN A CAVE IN DYELAND!!!!
That's right! During
a camping trip one of Dyeland's residents has found scrolls dating back
to a time not yet determined as our carbon dating device is in the shop
after someone fainted and fell on it during a viewing of "The
Journalist." Our scholars are still busy decoding the scrolls which are
written in a strange dialect, leaving some of the lines as of yet
indecipherable. We offer what has been given to us. They seem to be
some sort of prophecy. Let us know if you have any idea what these
words may mean.
The first scroll reads:
"A state of frenzy shall beset this land but by September the worry shall seem as if in vain and three years of joy shall follow. Whether three or four shall appear there shall be peace."
"A blonde man but not a man who is close to The Castle shall be captured. Though he is innocent he shall be imprisoned."
"A man shall descend upon the placid land of Dye. Great strife shall result of this man named Garber."
Hey! Hold up! That's not on the scroll! Someone added that! Kiwi!!!!!! Continuing...
The second scroll reads:
"Strange visions shall fall to the inhabitants, the princesses. The past shall be as the present. The dead as the living."
"Weeping shall take hold of the hearts of many. Grief shall triumph but for a few minutes. One shall sit upon the stairs calling to his Father. Mercy shall fall from the Heavens."
The third scroll reads:
"He shall be scarce as though absent. Great protest and the gnashing of teeth shall result. He returns as though a beautiful dream. God shall bless the children and they shall rejoice."
"Two from above shall come together for a great cause. They shall triumph together for one year and a half. Another shall join them. Celebration shall follow, red shall appear on the face of many and buckets shall be needed."
"Two shall come together for a strange cause. White jackets shall follow and they will find themselves in a room without corners or sharp edges. No words shall they utter save 'John, John, John.'"
Okay! That's enough
of that! Apparently our scholars are getting a bit
funny, or so they think! In any case besides the two noted the others
are in fact belonging to the scrolls. We are seeking your help in