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by Moby

Hi all! Well, it's time for JABB yet again! We hope you enjoy this issue.

In any place it's important to have a strong government in place. But supposing a government isn't quite so.... stable. Here are some signs things at Dyeland are a little unstable.

Top Ten Signs the Co-Presidents have (Re)Entered the Psych Ward

10. Vincent asks you what the best Andrew episodes of TBAA are. Later that night you see someone you believe to be Vincent scaling the hospital's walls carrying a bag and then entering through a window on the 6th floor. The next morning videos of "The Journalist" and several episodes have mysteriously disappeared from the Castle.

9. "Johnny Angel" and songs from "Godspell" can be heard coming from a 6th floor (the Psych ward) room in the hospital.

8. John's unusually calm when their names are mentioned.

7. Vincent and Andrew are spotted at the library studying a copy of "How to Cope when the Teenager you were Asked to Guard/Has a Fan Club for You Goes Insane (again) and Enters a Psych Ward in a Hospital in Another Dimension."

6. Audrey begins to sport that white coat with extra long sleeves, once again.

5. You call JenniAnn's room hoping to get some plans set for building your home on Dyeland. A voice answers claiming to be JenniAnn but you swear it is in fact Chimama. Your concern is furthered when "JenniAnn" yelps at you.

4. John awakens one day with hair glued to his head, while Chiwawa freezes.

3. Andrew suddenly glows all the time. Only, no one sees this glow but the co-prezes.

2. When you ask to see JenniAnn, Audrey brings her to a 5th floor window of Dyeland Castle. Strangely she looks exactly like last Fall's scarecrow with a blonde wig thrown on and sounds an awful lot like Andrew. You can also hear "That doesn't sound anything like her, let me try!" in the background.

1. The men in white know the co-prez by sight and sound instead of just by name.

Sometimes it's fun to sit and wonder how things might have been if only you'd made a different choice or taken a different road. In this issue Audrey and Jenni will examine what they might have done had JABB never been started.

10. Built a webpage featuring the largest collection of pictures of fake Chihuahuas.

9. Spent their lives trying to discover a way to travel into other dimensions and claim themselves princesses of a new land they name ErgoLifeLand.

8. Formed CABB. The Charles/Adam Bucket Brigade.

7. Two words: Lint collection

6. They may actually have ended up sane, normal people. Sheesh.... how boring.

5. Without worrying about the current issue of JABB, they could put their talents to use at school and amaze the world with their intelligence.

4. "Gee Audrey, what are we going to do tonight?" "The same thing we do everynight, Jenni. Try to take over the world!!"

3. If we weren't obsessing over John/Andrew, maybe we'd have *real* boyfriends? :)

2. Today is that blasted 'Teddy bear's Picnic' and I swear I will find them if it kills me!

1. Have you ever wondered what a stapler is really used for? Let me tell you!

Now our resident advice and etiquette expert.....

Dear Annie Dru,
Today, I saw John Dye. I know it was him. It had to be him. It was in England, and I know he's in Salt Lake City, but I'm positive it was John Dye. When I asked him for an autograph, he was really upset with me. He acted like he didn't want to see me! I was so hurt. Then when I finally got him to sign my napkin, he signed it, Joseph Murphy. I don't get it. Why is he doing this to me?! Please help.
Deathly distraught.

Dear Deathly Distraught,
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) it seems you did not meet John Dye. John would never behave that way! There is something you must do though. Go track down Mr. Murphy. Hang around where ever it was you saw him, start calling everyone in the phone book with the last name Murphy, get on your local news station, whatever. Then when you do find Mr. Murphy demand that he grow a beard or dye his hair black or something. We should not be allowed to look like our John! That is an outrage! Only two people are worthy of that wonderful look, John and Andrew. If he happens to have you arrested for stalking or something then just let JenniAnn or Audrey know. I'm sure they can set up a fund in Dyeland to get you bail money.

Annie Dru

If you have a question for Annie Dru email her.

Jenni is currently on spring break and is updating the Dyeland Map. If you'd like to be listed on it please contact her 
for more details.