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"I'll Be There for You"
by the Rembrandts

Hello everyone! We hope all is going well for you and that those of you in places with colder climates are finally getting some sun! We hope you enjoy the issue!!

Since about the middle of JABB's existence we've been running on two sets of logic and reality. The first is that of Earth. You know, how Audrey and Jenni are merely two fans of John who write funny and strange stories and jokes and send them out to you all. And John is a star in "Touched by an Angel" playing the part of Andrew. The second logic/reality is that of Dyeland. In this Audrey and JenniAnn become princesses and you all become inhabitants of Dyeland. Andrew is now a real being as well as John. According to this version Andrew and Martha Williamson at some point met and Ms. Williamson so loved Andrew's story (and Tess' and Monica's and the rest since they're all real too!) she turned it into a TV show. After last week's episode featuring a Kung Fu fighting angel we've begun to wonder what TBAA would have been like had Andrew appeared to other TV people. Here's just a glimpse of how this might have worked out.....

A.N.G.E.L.S.- Adam and Andrew are two angels in their late 20s, early 30s sharing an apartment. Across the hall live Monica and Tess. The four spend several hours a day lounging about in a coffeehouse talking about their jobs (now keep in mind we'll very seldom see them actually work) and are usually joined by their two angel friends, Rafael and Ruth. Tension grows when Monica and Andrew team up for a lengthy assignment and after a disagreement go their seperate ways for an evening. Andrew then teams up with Celeste for the assignment and Monica becomes very angry. You'll then be able to watch them argue for the next 5 seasons and hear Andrew scream the words "We were on a break!!"

Everybody Loves Andrew- God has given Tess a very special assignment. She's Adam's new supervisor! There's trouble though when God assigns Andrew to work with Tess too. The trouble increases when Andrew teams up with Monica for a lengthy assignment and Tess becomes jealous and criticizes everything Monica does from her revelation scenes to the way she says "God loves you!" Adam also becomes jealous when Tess devotes all her attention to Andrew and nearly forgets him. The guy from Mel Brook's "Young Frankenstein" will also drop by to add even more laughs!

Andrew- Andrew's spent the last several years of his life in a small bar dispensing miracles and advising humans. He returns home to his supervisor Tess, who has since retired from the Angelic Force, and fellow angel Adam. Andrew persuades Monica to join the group and keep Tess company while the two guy angels continue to advise humans. Adam however decides he'd really like to ask Monica to work on an assignment with him. The next 7 seasons are spent watching Adam try and get up the guts to ask Monica to go rescue some humans with him. Meanwhile Andrew keeps helping humans via his radio talk show with the help of his producer, Clara.

Survivor: Heaven- That's right the most popular reality show has hit the afterlife! Two tribes, the Seraphim and the Dominions, face each other in challenges to see who can stay on the cloud longest. Watch as the Seraphim (Andrew, Clara, Rafael, Celeste, Dottie, Henry, Phil, and Ruth) battle the Dominions (Monica, Tess, Adam, the Angel of Music, Taylor, Sam, Al, and Claire) to see who has the most Bible passages memorized, who can change the most lives in 5 minutes, and who can climb Jacob's ladder in the least amount of time. The games will be hosted by the Angel of Angels who will wear khakis and say things like "Fire represents life" and generally wax philosophical. Every three nights someone will get voted off the cloud by their own teammates!

There, now doesn't TBAA seem even more wonderful than it usually does?

You know you're an A/J fan if.......

You've ever found yourself in a store and thought, "Hey that'd look really cool on Andrew/John." or "Andrew would totally love that book/object!"

You're an even bigger A/J fan if you actually bought the item and either sent it to John or kept it, you know, just in case Andrew should ever stop by for some coffee or something.

You've ever counted the number of people with the last name "Dye" in your phonebook and considered calling them just to see if maybe they were related to John.

You're an even bigger A/J fan if you counted all the guys named John in the phonebook and then preceeded to call many of them and see if they were related before you realized that first names have nothing to do with being related.

You spend hours a day fantasizing about what it might be like to have Andrew guest star on another of your favorite shows.

You're an even bigger A/J fan if you get your Andrew puppet every time you watch this show and really do put Andrew into the show.

You're drool bucket always rests by your favorite chair, even if TBAA or a John related movies isn't on.

You're an ever bigger A/J fan if the before noted bucket is *always* filled with drool.

You dream of J/A every night.

You're an ever bigger A/J fan if you sleep all day as well, just to dream of him.

You've just read this list and found yourself nodding at some of the stuff.

You're an even bigger A/J fan and you've just read this list and thought, "Duh! Doesn't everybody do this stuff?!"