Hello! It's the middle of spring. Aud and I are graduating soon and well.... We're a little bit anxious and have a bit of spring fever. So we're just gonna go for a little walk through the woods surrounding Dyeland Castle and tell you about it. With this story we hope to draw a little bit on the amazing talent of Mr. William Shakespeare, whom most critics say saw his greatest accomplishments not when he wrote his own original stories but when he adapted those of another. So here we adapt one of my favorite Shakespearean plays, A Midsummer Night's Dream, except in regular English (big sigh of relief) and with a few changes. But first just a reminder that all submissions for the JABB talent issue must be in by April 20th. So far I've only received one story and one web site but I hope to have more. Now onto the story! Presenting.......
A Midspring Night's Dream
"Aud I'm really bored. Graduation is a mere four weeks away and if I hear one more thing about announcements, parties, and who's going to which college I'm gonna cry!" JenniAnn, well, cried.
"Me too! Hey, how about we go for a walk. It's only 6 we have a couple of hours to go explore the woods before it gets too dark." Audrey suggested.
"That is an excellent idea!" With that the two headed for the door.
"What do you think you're doing!?!?" a voice called from behind them.
"John! What are you doing here?" Audrey asked in surprise for John's visits to Dyeland castles were somewhat rare and they had last seen him in February.
"I don't know something just told me to come here. I had some time off so I figured why not? I'm glad I did, too. It's far too late for you both to be going out alone. Especially, considering what happened the last time you ventured out alone. I seem to remember breaking into a cottage and having to get you from Kiwi's cellar."
"Very well, I really think we can handle a little walk through the woods but it would be nice to have some company. Especially you John." JenniAnn looked up at him smiling.
And so the three set off into the woods, little knowing what the night held for them....
"Oh! Listen! You can hear a little brook! Let's go look for it!" JenniAnn cried with delight.
"No, look over there! It's a little family of deer, let's just sit and watch them." John answered and the two girls peered out at his discovery.
"They're very cute but I want to go find the brook." JenniAnn insisted. "Adios!"
"Hey! Wait you can't go by yourself!" Audrey yelled at an already retreating JenniAnn.
"That's okay, I'll go with her."
"What? I thought you were staying here to watch the deer with me, John?" Audrey asked.
"I am. That wasn't me." John answered back confused.
"That was me just now. I was coming to visit you all in the castle when I heard voices and discovered it was you. I'll go with JenniAnn, she shouldn't be wandering the woods alone. Especially with her little directional problem." V answered from a few feet away where he had appeared.
"Thanks! We're meeting back in the castle around 8. See you then?" Audrey asked.
"Sounds great! I better go now before she gets too far ahead of me." With that V was off at top speed.
"Hmm, that was odd. It's a good thing he came just then. I'll never understand how the both of you just seem to appear at the most convenient times."
"Yeah it is odd. Hey! Look, there's a raccoon!" John cried and the couple's attention was brought back to the animals before them.
JenniAnn was now sitting at the bank of a small brook. Enchanted by the sound it made and the effect the setting sun had as it reflected off the water. So entranced was she that she didn't notice the figure standing behind her.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" the voice whispered quietly.
"Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!" JenniAnn screamed as she began to fall into the water.
"Hold on!" V reached down and pulled JenniAnn back up, rescuing her from an extremely drenched dress. "I had no idea Sonnet 18 had such an effect on you." he laughed.
"When whispered quietly by a voice when I thought I was alone it does!" JenniAnn tried to yell angrily but didn't succeed in the attempt when her laughs betrayed her.
"I'm sorry." V apologized through his laughing. "Come on let's go for a walk and see what else we can discover." With that the couple was off to see what other magical sites they might find.
"Look there's Orion." John recited various star formations as he and Audrey looked at the stars shining over the valley they had found themselves in.
"They're so beautiful. Hey, what time is it?" Audrey asked.
"Oh my gosh! It's after 10! How did we manage to lose track of so much time? Hurry! We better run back to the castle. JenniAnn and V are probably worrying about us." John answered excitedly, rising up from the stone on which he sat half way through his words and running back into the forest. Audrey followed him all the while thinking something was amiss.
For what seemed like hours Audrey and John wandered through the forest. Nothing was recognizable and at last John spoke.
"Audrey, I'm afraid we're lost. We might as well stay here until day and then we'll be able to see again and find our way back to the castle. You can rest there." John pointed a few yards away to the base of a tree. "I'll stand here and keep watch, if there are deer and raccoons who knows what other creatures could be out here."
"Okay, thank you. If you feel tired be sure to wake me up and I'll keep watch." Audrey replied as she approached the tree.
"I will but I'm not at all tired. I doubt I will have to." John said with typical male pride.
So the two settled in for the long night. They were clueless as to the fact that this night's adventure had hardly begun.
"Never eat soggy waffles, north east south west. Yes, I'm really quite sure that's east and since we came from the west we should turn around." JenniAnn and V had found themselves lost and once again JenniAnn tried to call upon old memory devices and her skewed directional abilities to save them.
"JenniAnn, please let's just stay here a bit. We're not getting anywhere and you look about ready to fall over. Just sit here and in only about 5 hours the sun will be up and we can get back to the castle. JenniAnn?" V's voice took on a note of anxiety as he looked around for his friend who was silent. Finally he saw she had fallen asleep a few yards away.
"Good she needs the rest. I've never heard anyone talk so much about soggy waffles in my life. No doubt delirious. Well, I'll just keep watch and... wow... suddenly I'm very tired. But I have to keep watch or else...." With that he fell to the ground in a deep sleep.
"Aww, poor, old V. That's what you get for running around at your age, I guess. Of course, a good old sleeping spell may have helped just a little" From right behind where V had formerly stood, Kiwi appeared out of the shadows.
"Well, this has all been entertaining watching these saps running around but now the real fun will begin! JenniAnn for Audrey and Audrey for JenniAnn will help the great fun begin. Switch their places and watch the males as this story becomes the strangest of tales." As Kiwi finished chanting her spell Audrey and JenniAnn switched places with each other so that JenniAnn was now only a few yards from John and Audrey only a few from V.
"Now, with this love potion our adventure will begin." Kiwi first stepped alongside the sleeping V and pouring a small amount of the love potion on the fallen figure. Then she appeared next to John repeating the same procedure.
"Now when these two wake they will fall in love with the first creature they see." With her mischief done Kiwi returned to the shadows to watch her plan unravel. Suddenly, Audrey woke up fancying that she had just heard a quiet voice with some strange accent....
"I wonder what time it is? John? John? Well, where could he have gone?" Audrey stood up and began to survey her surroundings. "Well, this doesn't look anything like where I stopped last night and who is that.... V! Oh no!" Slowly Audrey crept up to V fearing something had befallen him, something more serious than magic. "He can't be hurt or... wait if he's here where is JenniAnn? Oh no! Well, I guess I better go see how he is." Slowly and a little scared Audrey approached V and knelt down near him. "V come on wake up!"
"What melodious voice is this I hear?" V said quietly as he awoke.
"Huh? V come on! Where's JenniAnn? How could you let her out of your sight? Don't you care what happens to her? She could be lost or..." Audrey's voice took on a desperate tone.
"JenniAnn? Who is this you speak of fair maiden? Why should I care for her when there is one such as you upon this earth?" V responded in some really weird lovestruck voice.
"Umm, yeah. Come on, forget the idiocy. We have to go find John and JenniAnn." Audrey had already begun to walk.
"Where you go I will follow, my lady."
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Audrey said to herself.
"But I don't wanna go to school! Shut up alarm clock! Huh? Where am I?" JenniAnn slowly awoke only to find she was not in her room and that sound was not a clock but a bird's call. "V? Aud? John? Where is everyone? Okay, funny joke ya'll! Come on out! John!!!!!" JenniAnn bolted towards the fallen figure a few yards off. As she came nearer John awoke and began to walk towards her.
"Fair one, the sun's brilliant light pales upon your beauty." John cooed.
"Cute, real cute. Aud, put you up to this right?" JenniAnn replied a tad annoyed. (Sleeping on the ground in a strange forest doesn't do much for one's mood.)
"My dear, are you not well?"
"Oh yes I'm quite well. Can't quite say the same for you. Did you hit your head?" JenniAnn was now growing concerned for this behavior was highly odd.
"No but if it would so please you I would do it quite gladly."
"NO! Just follow me while we look for the other two. If you should wake up so changed who knows what became of them!"
"My life had no meaning until I saw you this morning! Ooh! Let me move that branch for you. It would not do for one so great as you to be harmed."
"Ooh, yes please help me with the big scary tree." Audrey said mockingly as V tagged along behind her. "I swear I'll go insane! If he doesn't snap out of this right now! JenniAnn?"
Audrey began to run as she saw two blond figures across the field she was approaching. JenniAnn noticed Audrey as well and ran towards her.
"Oh Audrey! I'm so glad I found you. I was worried something had happened. Audrey, something's horribly wrong. I think John hit his head. He's been carrying on with romantic lines since I found him."
"Ha! Nothing can compare to your Romeo over there!" Audrey cried glancing over at V who was starting to weave a crown of wildflowers.
"V!!" JenniAnn ran over to her friend and gave him a hug. "I was so worried something had happened! Why didn't you wake me up before you walked off?"
"Get away brat!" V replied disgustedly as JenniAnn limped away dejectedly. "Come my queen, I have made you a crown." V's tone suddenly became very sweet as he turned to Audrey, who was looking more and more disgusted by the moment.
"Hey! What did you say to the lovely JenniAnn, you imbecile!?!" Suddenly John came running over and pulled JenniAnn even further away from V.
"Queen Audrey is far more fair than your 'lovely JenniAnn.' " V retorted.
Using this moment of distraction to their advantage Audrey and JenniAnn ran away from their howling friends, or whatever strange beings these were masquerading as their once sane friends.
"Audrey, this is crazy. I mean you and V were never even that close of friends and now?? You're his queen? And I'm a brat!!! See if I ever write him into another issue of JABB again!" JenniAnn's voice couldn't quite seem to decide whether it wanted to scream or sob.
"No, this isn't right. Think about it. Where did you fall asleep last night and where did you wake up? It wasn't the same place was it?" Audrey contemplated.
"Well, no I guess it wasn't but what does that mean!?!? We still have two insane men fighting a few yards away!"
"If they are insane."
"What do you mean?!? You call *that* sane behavior. It's almost like they're under the influence of something. V would never call me a brat of his own free will!" JenniAnn started sobbing again because as we all know JenniAnn somehow becomes a ditz in all these stories. Someone should really ask a psychiatrist why that is.
"Kiwi! I know you did this! Always making trouble! Get out here now or we're stopping the shipment of all chocolate to New Zealand!" Audrey was now irate and screaming aimlessly at trees in the forest knowing one must hide the kiwi.
Suddenly giggling could be heard a few feet away. Kiwi emerged from behind a grove of lilac trees. "What's a matter Audrey? Tired of ole V swooning over you?"
"I don't need anything but you!!!!!!!!!" JenniAnn started singing like a lunatic, of course at top volume despite her less than angelic singing abilities.
"Kiwi, really now, V and John are screaming at each other, JenniAnn is, well I guess singing, and if you don't do something quick I just might join her! If you value your hearing do something. NOW!!!" Audrey's face was now a lovely shade of red.
"Okay, fine. Where are the two Romeos?"
When the three women found their way back to the field in which Audrey and JenniAnn had left John and V they found the two still fighting. Now they had begun sparring with tree branches.
"En guarde!"
"Thou art a villain!"
Before the chaos went any further a reluctant Kiwi intoned a few words......
"When you walk down the road....." Della's voice resonated all through the Dyeland castle waking the confused inhabitants.
JenniAnn woke up to find herself in her bedroom.
"Oh what a strange dream I had. I dreamed Aud, V, John and I were lost in woods enchanted by Kiwi. Oh!" JenniAnn exclaimed as she rose from her bed finding herself suspiciously clad in one of her dresses, the same dress she had worn in the "dream." Slowly, she left her room to find Audrey. No sooner had she closed her door and turned around than Audrey was standing by her.
"It wasn't a dream was it?" Audrey asked, she could tell by JenniAnn's expression she was thinking of the same woods and the same events.
"I..I don't think so. Shh! I hear voices downstairs." JenniAnn whispered quietly before tip toeing down the grand staircase. Audrey followed only a few steps behind her.
"JenniAnn! Audrey!" John cried out from the couch he was sitting on. V came out into the foyer from a side room he had found himself in. "What in the world happened last night?"
"I don't know but I think this little note may clue us in." V responded as he picked a note up off of a desk nearby. He began to read aloud to the group assembled in the room:
"Dear Audrey, JenniAnn, John, and the old guy" (the latter part of the intro was read rather sneeringly by V)
"Thanks for the entertainment yesterday in the woods. If any of you ever need any love potion you know where to find me!
Yours enchantedly,
Kiwi"
The group was silent for a bit and slowly each one began to blush as they realized all that had went on the preceding day. V was the first to speak, "JenniAnn, I'm sorry I called you a brat. I never really would."
"I know you wouldn't. I knew something was up then, Victor."
"Whoa!" Audrey and John both said in unison.
"What?" The other two answered back.
"JenniAnn just called you Victor." John explained.
"I suppose I did. I guess it's time to let it be known." JenniAnn explained.
"I for one am glad of it. I rather missed my name." Victor replied.
"Well, ya'll it's been a long adventure. Let's all go have some breakfast." Audrey suggested.
And so our group had a nice little party after which John and Victor returned to their prospective homes and left Audrey and JenniAnn to take care of business at Dyeland and to wait for the return of Kiwi or for JenniAnn to read another inspiring Shakespeare story, which ever comes first. (Last Shakespeare she read was Othello and there's nothing coming out of that story on this newsletter!)