Here to Listen to
"I Say a Little Prayer"
Hello and welcome to the 44th issue of the non-stop craziness we like to call JABB :-) This issue is pretty much a tribute to all of our members and their accomplishments. So with out further adieu, the JABB Members issue.
First we have the exciting story of a member's stint as John's bodyguard:
Description of Assignment as
John's Temporary Bodyguard
All things went exceptionally well for my first day as John's bodyguard. There was only one minor incident even worth telling.
All was going well as I guarded John. There was not much to do while he was shooting on the set, so I worked on my Jedi relaxing techniques for awhile. I then read all of the JABB newsletters.
Since taping was being done outside, tourists were able to watch filming from afar. At about noon, some sightseers, obviously big TBAA fans, tried to get closer to the set. From the looks of it, they didn't pose a threat to John, so I went back to my reading while security took care of the tourists.
Later, John and I walked down the street to McDonald's for a quick lunch. Just as we were entering the restaurant, a group of about fifteen girls came up from behind, like a pack of lionesses who had found their prey. Well, this group of sightseers did look threatening, so I stepped in front of John, determined to settle the screaming girls.
"Hey!" I yelled, but no one listened. They kept pressing in on us, trying to get at least a glimpse of John. I put two fingers to my mouth and whistled. Normally, that would have gotten anyone's attention, but these girls were determined to see John.
As you know from my resume, I really hate to use the Force when it isn't necessary, but I knew I must do something to quiet the loud girls. I drew a deep breath.
"QUIET!" I bellowed, using the Force to make my voice carry louder and longer.
The girls stopped in their tracks. Before, they had tried to push me aside as if I were invisible. Now they were looking at me as if I were some sort of kook.
"Now," I began. "I will allow you to meet John on one condition."
"And what condition is that?" one girl asked, apparently the spokesperson of the group.
"You must all wait for your turn and not crowd John all at once."
"And if we don't want to?"
I felt a stirring in the Force, telling me they were not going to comply. So, I did the next best thing.
"You will board your bus and forget you ever saw John." I said, using the Jedi mind trick Master Skywalker had taught me just a week before.
Like in a trance, the girls slowly turned around, walking right past John. They boarded the bus and left without a sound.
"Thank you," John said, relief evident in his voice. "I'm glad Jarrod and his friends chose a Jedi Knight to guard me. Having a Jedi to guard me is very useful."
"This is a fact," I said.
We finally got our lunch (I'm still getting used to eating cheeseburgers) and went back to the set.
The rest of the day went without incident. I was very pleased with how well my first day as John's bodyguard had gone. I had been expecting something out of the ordinary to happen, but I suppose I have experienced so many extraordinary things, I wouldn't be able to recognize something extraordinary even if it was staring me in the face. (I should know. It's happened before.)
The last thought I had before falling asleep was, This is going to be *very* easy!.
All I can say is. YEAH, RIGHT!
Tuesday was just about as uneventful as Monday, until after John and I came home from the set.
We had just entered his one-bedroom apartment (I slept on the couch) when his phone rang. (Why you people have such primitive communications systems is beyond me.) I ran to answer it.
"Dye residence. How may I help you?" I said from memory.
"Hello, Tenel Ka," came the response. "This is Martha."
"Oh. Hello, Ms. Williamson."
"May I speak to John?"
I handed the phone to John. The conversation was brief. There were a few "yeah"s and a couple of nods before John hung up the phone.
I looked at him, questions building up inside my head.
"Well, Tenel," John said. (He is the only one allowed to call me just "Tenel") "Looks like we're going to Ireland."
"Ireland?" I asked. "Whatever for?"
"Martha has finally decided to film an episode in Ireland, since Roma has wanted so badly for one to be made."
"Ireland, huh?" I asked again. I had only had the honor of visiting the United States. I hadn't been anywhere but. A trip to Ireland would definitely give me a chance to study another culture on this planet. Wait a minute! I thought. That is where Master Skywalker and the Solo family were planning on making their final ascent to Earth. Our worlds shall finally be united, and I'll be there to see it!
"Yep. We leave tomorrow," John said, bringing me from my thoughts. "You ever been there?"
"No," I answered.
Woah. A new thought came to mind. Am I dumb or what? Chiwawa lives in Ireland!
"Wait!" I cried.
"What?!" John asked, a bewildered look in his eyes.
"What part of Ireland will we be?"
"Northern, of course. We'll be filming near Derry City."
"We can't go."
John started at my comment.
"Why not?" he asked, confusion taking place of the bewilderment.
"Well, Della's coming, right?"
"Chiwawa lives in Northern Ireland, am I correct?"
"Yes. Ah, man! You're right! We can't. Wait. What am I saying? We do have to go. We'll just have to warn Chiwawa."
"We'll have to take an earlier flight and find Chiwawa before the others arrive."
"Okay. Well, you'll really like Ireland. It's a beautiful place."
"I will take your word for it."
We took a 5:00 AM flight, which was two hours earlier than everyone else's. It was a very long trip (which would have taken 1/4 of the time if you humans had hyperdrive), so nothing really happened until Thursday.
"Where do you think he lives?" I asked as John and I walked the streets of Derry City.
"I have no idea," came the answer.
I sighed. Not even the strongest of Jedi relaxation techniques could keep me from being nervous. I had a lot to be nervous about. Master Skywalker and the Solo family were scheduled to arrive today and Chiwawa was in danger of becoming the hairless Chihuahua he once was.
"Hey!" John said, breaking into my thoughts. "There's Chiwawa!"
I looked in the direction he was pointing, and sure enough, Chiwawa was strolling down the street, without a care in the world.
"Chiwawa!" I yelled above the noises of the street cars.
Chiwawa looked over at us. He saw John and rushed over.
"Kia Ora!" he quoted our dearest Sara. "Need something?"
"Yes," I replied. "We need you to hide."
"Hide? What for?"
John stepped in. "Della's going to be here in less than thirty minutes! Now you understand?"
Chiwawa gasped. "Here?"
"I gotta go! But where will I go?"
Just then, I thought of a great plan.
"I know where you can hide," I said.
"You do?" John and Chiwawa said simultaneously.
"Yes. The Solo family is supposed to be landing at any time now. You can hide out in the Falcon."
"Cool!" Chiwawa exclaimed.
I took John's hand and lead him and Chiwawa to a small blacksmith's shop on the outskirts of the town.
"Hello," I greeted the man at the counter.
"Hello, Tenel Ka," the man, Wedge Antilles, replied.
"You know him?" John whispered.
"Yes," I murmured back. "He's the leader of the Rogue Squadron."
"I'll be taking that speeder now," I said to Wedge.
"Right this way," he said, leading us to a large shed out back.
He unlatched the door and swung it open to reveal a small landspeeder that looked very much like the one Master Skywalker had owned on Tatooine.
"Hop in," I said to John and Chihuahua as I took the "driver's seat", as you humans call it.
I piloted the craft far out into the wilds of the uninhabited area of the Emerald Isle. As we approached a large waterfall, I slowed the speeder to a crawl. At the edge of the fertile pool of water, I stopped the vehicle and got out.
"The Falcon's landing spot should be in a clearing just beyond those trees," I said, pointing to a small group of trees.
We walked a few minutes through the trees before coming out into a large, well concealed clearing.
We looked up just in time to see the Millennium Falcon make its final descent. The large Corellian vessel landed with no problems, which is quite amazing for that certain ship. I stepped forward to the lowering ramp. Master Skywalker was the first to step foot on the lush, green grass. I sighed with wonder at the importance of this moment.
"Greetings," Master Skywalker said, taking my hand in greeting.
"Greetings, Master Skywalker," I replied. I gestured to John and Chiwawa. "I have brought some friends to meet you."
"Hello. I am Jedi Mas-"
"Luke Skywalker," John said. "Yeah, I know all about you."
Master Skywalker looked surprised.
"Believe me," I said. "These humans already knew about us long before I had even arrived, yet they had always believed the stories about us were simply fantasy. You should have seen John's face when I told him who I really was.
"Oh. Excuse my manners. This is John Dye, and this is Chiwawa."
Master Skywalker nodded in their direction.
A loud voice broke the calm. Just then, Mistress Leia ran down the ramp.
"Um, Luke?" she said, not even noticing John and Chiwawa.
"Yes?" Master Skywalker replied.
--Wait. I do not want to be rude, but I believe it would be easier if I referred to Master Skywalker as Luke, Mistress Leia as Leia, and General Solo as Han, etc.--
"Lowie sorta. well, you need to see for yourself," Leia replied.
Luke ran into the ship. I turned to Leia.
"Mistress Leia?" I said.
"Yes?" she said.
"I would like you to meet John Dye and Chiwawa."
She looked over at them, noticing them for the first time.
"John and Chiwawa, this is Chief of State of the New Republic, Leia Organa Solo."
"Hello," John said, extending his hand in friendship. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was captivated.
"She's taken," I whispered in a voice only he could hear.
"I know," he replied.
I spun around to see what could have been making such a terrible noise, only to stand face to face with none other than Della herself.
"Oh, no!" I heard John say. Chiwawa was hiding behind him. Leia looked positively confused.
I could all but see the anger radiating from Della.
"I knew it!" she yelled at John. "I knew there was something fishy about your hair!"
"Whatever do you mean?" John said as Chiwawa slowly backed away into the Falcon.
"That's the hair!"
"No, it isn't," I said, stepping between them. "He happens to be growing his hair again."
"Wait," she said. "That Chihuahua. He had exactly the same color of hair as the hair. You transplanted it!"
"What's a Chihuahua?" I said, trying to make myself sound like an ignorant alien from another planet.
"It's a dog."
"I haven't seen any dogs since yesterday."
It looked like she was falling for it, but I still wanted to be absolutely sure. So, I used the Jedi mind trick to settle it.
"There is no Chihuahua here," I said.
"There is no Chihuahua here," she repeated.
I was satisfied. She eventually left. I plopped down on the ground and sighed with relief.
"I'm glad I didn't have to resort to drawing my lightsaber," I said. "Of course, that probably really have done the trick!"
Leia giggled and I soon followed. John burst into a bout of laughter. Soon, we were all laughing so hard tears came to our eyes.
The rest of the day went smoothly. John and I went to the set, Chiwawa stayed in the Falcon, and everything went as planned.
Day 5(Friday), Day 6(Saturday), and Day 7(Sunday):
Nothing major happened over the next three days. Soon, it was Sunday, and we were ready to leave. I convinced the pilots of our plane to install a hyperdrive unit into the plane, so we made it home just in time to watch Touched By An Angel that night.
Chiwawa was able to go home. He was glad after having to spend three days and nights around two Wookiees.
"I hate Mondays," John said as he strode into the kitchen. His hair was a mess, and his clothes were crumpled.
"I like any day," I replied, handing him a plate of toast. "Where I come from, you wake up feeling lucky you even survived the day before."
"Yeah. At least it hasn't come to that here. Yet."
I nodded. We ate in silence then left for the studio.
Day 9(Tuesday), Day 10(Wednesday), Day 11(Thursday), Day 12(Friday), and Day 13(Saturday):
That entire week went without incident.
Well, I am watching Touched By An Angel as I write this. Yes, it is already Sunday night. The last night of my stint as John's bodyguard.
I am almost disappointed. I was hoping for just a tad bit more adventure as a bodyguard, but I am still satisfied.
It has been a very enlightening experience in the way of learning more about a new world. I have gotten to meet my favorite actor, been to Ireland, met Chiwawa, and witnessed the joining of two worlds. I suppose I actually accomplished something as John's bodyguard. Well, Jarrod just walked in the door, so I suppose this closes my account of my two week assignment as John Dye's bodyguard. So, farewell and "May the Force Be With You"!
Tenel Ka Chume Ta' Djo AKA: Joy C.
Daughter of Isolder, crowned prince of Hapes, and Teneniel Djo, warrior of Dathomir and daughter of Augwynne Djo
Now for the works sent in by
some of your fellow JABBers:
Fanfic: Jane's "I Have a Rendezvous With Death" can be found here:
Description: "I wrote this as a potential script idea for TBAA, but have turned it into a novella. I had fun playing with the idea of Andrew as a human and entering into a romance. This is dedicated to all John's fans"
Comments can be sent to the author here: Mzrockie@HCTC.com
Fanfic: Javi's "Journey to Heaven" can be found here:
Comments can be sent to the author here: email@example.com
Website: Shannon's "Angels Among Us" can be found here:
"My site is all about Touched by an Angel and TRUE angel expieriences or even miracles. It is still rather new and still needs work. I got star bios, pictures, and a game called the Love tester."
Thank you and great job to each of you! I'd also like to alert everyone to the wonderful work our Dye Scouts have done. There's fanfic and some wonderfully insightful thoughts. You can find their work here:
With the summer coming if you feel yourself getting bored you may wanna check out some of the badges and see if you, too, would like to become a Dye Scout!
There's also the JABB Member Links page where you can visit some of the homepages or our members. Let me know if you have a personal homepage, TBAA or not, you'd like added! The existing links can be found here:
Okay, well I think that's it for this issue! If you'd like to submit work for a possible future "JABBer Talent" issue please send your site url, fanfic, poems, etc. to Jenni.