"If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship
we must love friends for their sake rather than our own."
~ Charlotte Bronte

Hi all,

I hope everyone's getting to enjoy Spring now that it's finally arrived!  The change of season may account for the shortness of this newsletter.  Sitting at the computer with a mug of tea and a blanket just isn't as tempting these days.  :-)  Plus, I've been reading a lot more than usual (though still not enough for my tastes) which means you almost got "Top Ten Ways Andrew is Better than Mr. Rochester Even if Mr. Rochester is Pretty Cool."  And I'm pretty sure that just woulda been me going on about how jeans are better than trousers, that Andrew is cuddlier, and Andrew has a way nicer Dad which is really neither informative nor particularly inventive (but all true IMO). 

Anyhow, I'm currently working on a shortish (compared to 100+ pages) story that may compromise the next issue.  But as for this one, I'd like to thank Nicole for writing these questions.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoys pretending to be stupid.  ;-) 

And then I tacked on a bit of census-themed humor.  Because I don't know if anyone else has realized this but apparently the U.S. is taking a census.  Who knew?  I certainly haven't seen any signs about it or seen countless commercials about it or had at least two notices about it mailed to my home.  Ahem.

God bless,
Jenni
Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer

For those of you who have joined us since the last time we did "Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer," I'd like to offer a bit of an explanation.  There are many wonderful aspects of running this web site.  But... there are also downsides.  And one downside is that I get asked the occasional question that makes me fear for the future of humankind.  So this segment started out as a way for me to cope with genuinely stupid questions.  Because apparently the numerous disclaimers on the site and the fact that many pages are signed "God bless, Jenni" didn't keep people from asking "Are you John Dye?"  Thankfully, most of those inquiries have long since dried up.  When people ask questions, they're generally good questions.  Nonetheless, this was a fun lil feature so these days I rely on members to think up foolish questions to ask me.  This time they all come from Nicole so, again, my thanks to her!

Question: Hey, do you have Doc's cell number?

Answer: Yes... but I'm bared from using it or giving it out per the restraining order.  But if you put a bunch of ads in the nation's biggest papers searching for the best lover in Tennessee, maybe he'll answer.  Along with a bunch of creepy people. 

Question: Does Andrew have the exact value of Pi memorized?

Answer: He thinks flour, sugar, butter, cinnamon, and either fruit or cream filling are what make pie valuable.  And also yummy.  Please learn how to spell correctly and there is no need to capitalize pie.
 
Question: Are the wings used in the show feathers or CGI?

Answer: They're made of moon beams and star dust and wishes.  And also sorghum.
 
Question: What is Andrew's opinion on the finer points of bread baking?

Answer: Don't burn it.  Also, when you try to toast it, don't remove it with a metal fork.  Andrew's really busy and doesn't want to add to his caseload.  Besides, he's also much too busy being lovely.
 
Question: What is Andrew's middle name?

Answer: Francine.  But he's very sensitive about it so shhhh... 
 
Question: Do you personally check with Andrew before you answer questions about him? Are you his publicist?

Answer: Yes to both.  But I think he's cranky lately because whenever I call him up to ask questions he claims not to know me and not know what I'm talking about.  He also refuses to pay me my publicist's fee because he claims never to have hired a publicist and says that elementary teachers generally don't require publicists in any case.  Also, he has an English accent for some reason now and keeps telling me to "sod off."   Hmm... maybe this is the wrong Andrew's number?  That would explain why he keeps talking about how his wife is getting very irritated by the constant calls...
The Return of the Dyeland Census!
As those of you in the States no doubt know... having been reminded by numerous commercials, cartoon characters, and mail... it's a census year!  So it seemed like a good time to bring the Dyeland Census back.  Unfortunately, Andrew already answered back in JABB 263.  Darn.  So my next best option was to answer as a character utterly enamored with him.  I'd like to invite anyone else who has Dyeland characters to fill this out for future newsletters.  But now I'm turning this over to LJA...

1.  Full name: (Lady) JenniAnn Dwynwen Chandler, also called Psyche, also called Laja by Andrew (who is also called Lovely One, Skin Horse, Andrewkins, Amish Boy, Dearest One, and more!  Check my T-shirt to see them all!)

2.  Date of birth: Many moons after Andrew's.  I wonder if he's older than the moon?

3.  Place(s) of residence: Willowveil Castle in Dyeland City near the bestest two-doors-down neighbor in the whole wide worlds.

4.  Number of individuals residing at primary residence: Just me and I like the privacy.  Although I like it better when Andrew's about and our friends, too.

5.  Pets: Just my dog, Fawn, although sometimes Lulu stays with me and we sit on the couch and eat sweets and bemoan our absentee Andrew.  Or else blindly wander the country side beating our breasts and/or howling and caffeine-high-dialing his cell phone.  Only part of that's at all true.  ;-)

6.  Marital status- please check all that apply:
X Single, never married
 
O Single, divorced
 
O Married
 
O Single but in a relationship
 
O Angel, definitely not looking
 
X Ungether aka in love with Andrew- And, yes, Andrew that IS an official status.  So sayeth I.

6.  Role in Dyeland or Sibling City: Friend, Helper and world religions teacher in the Tunnels, fill-in assistant at the Phoenix, co-official flannel shirt purchaser, nickname T-shirt updater, decorator, and hopelessly devoted to... you guessed it.

8.  Median income (please state type of currency): He smiles and that's all I need.  OMG.  That's too sappy even for me.  But true...  I deserve a pass on the sappiness, though.  Andrew's away and I've been rereading Jane Eyre.  This is a very bad combo.  I think the simple fact that I'm not trying to psychically call Andrew back by shouting his name three times really speaks highly of me.  ;-)

9.  Measurements (need only fill out if you are male and regularly have ladies swooning over you and "borrowing" your clothing items and thus may feel the need to replace clothing items): Yay!  I'm female!

10.  Emergency contact(s): Depends on what the emergency is.  Generally my parents or Vincent and Catherine.  But if I'm just plain freaking out... Andrew excels at talking me down.

11.  Additional comments: Yes, I did just fill this out to gush about Andrew.  As I said, he's away at the time of this writing (March 18, 2010).  It was either this or flip through scrap books of him whilst listening to maudlin mixed CDs and single-handedly driving up the cost of Kleenex.  This is healthier and more green, right?

If you think you might be interested in filling this out, please let me know!

JABB TOC

JABB 297

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page (barring the 2nd) are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. Image 2 is owned by New World Television and Braun Entertainment Group.  They are not being used to seek profit.)