"If we would
build on a sure foundation in friendship
we must love friends for their sake rather than our own."
~ Charlotte Bronte
hope everyone's getting to
enjoy Spring now that it's finally arrived! The change of season
may account for the shortness of this newsletter. Sitting at the
computer with a mug of tea and a blanket just isn't as tempting these
days. :-) Plus, I've been reading a
lot more than usual
(though still not enough for my tastes) which means you almost got "Top
Ten Ways Andrew
is Better than Mr. Rochester Even if Mr. Rochester is Pretty
Cool." And I'm pretty sure that just woulda been me going on
about how jeans are
better than trousers, that Andrew is cuddlier, and Andrew has a way
nicer Dad which is really
neither informative nor particularly inventive (but all true
working on a
shortish (compared to 100+ pages) story that may compromise the next
issue. But as for
this one, I'd like to thank Nicole for writing these questions.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoys pretending to be stupid.
And then I tacked on a bit of census-themed humor. Because I
don't know if anyone else has realized this but apparently the U.S. is
taking a census. Who knew? I certainly haven't seen any
signs about it or seen countless commercials about it or had at least
two notices about it mailed to my home. Ahem.
Ask a Stupid Question, Get a
those of you who have
joined us since the last time we did "Ask a Stupid Question, Get a
Stupid Answer," I'd like to offer a bit of an explanation. There
are many wonderful aspects of running this web site. But... there
are also downsides. And one downside is that I get asked the
occasional question that makes me fear for the future of
humankind. So this segment started out as a way for me to cope
with genuinely stupid questions. Because apparently the numerous
disclaimers on the site and the fact that many pages are signed "God
bless, Jenni" didn't keep people from asking "Are you John Dye?"
Thankfully, most of those inquiries have long since dried up.
When people ask questions, they're generally good questions.
Nonetheless, this was a fun lil feature so these days I rely on members
to think up foolish questions to ask me. This time they all come
from Nicole so, again, my thanks to her!
Hey, do you have Doc's cell number?
Yes... but I'm bared
from using it or giving it out per the restraining order. But if
you put a bunch of ads in the nation's biggest papers searching for the
best lover in Tennessee, maybe he'll answer. Along with a bunch
of creepy people.
Does Andrew have the exact value of Pi memorized?
He thinks flour,
sugar, butter, cinnamon, and either fruit or cream filling are what
make pie valuable. And also yummy. Please learn how to
spell correctly and there is no need to capitalize pie.
Are the wings used in the show feathers or CGI?
They're made of moon
beams and star dust and wishes. And also sorghum.
What is Andrew's opinion on the finer points of bread baking?
Don't burn it.
Also, when you try to toast it, don't remove it with a metal
fork. Andrew's really busy and doesn't want to add to his
caseload. Besides, he's also much too busy being lovely.
What is Andrew's middle name?
he's very sensitive about it so shhhh...
Do you personally check with Andrew before you answer questions about
him? Are you his publicist?
Yes to both.
But I think he's cranky lately because whenever I call him up to ask
questions he claims not to know me and not know what I'm talking
about. He also refuses to pay me my publicist's fee because he
claims never to have hired a publicist and says that elementary
teachers generally don't require publicists in any case. Also, he
has an English accent for some reason now and keeps telling me to "sod
off." Hmm... maybe this is the wrong Andrew's number?
That would explain why he keeps talking about how his wife is getting
very irritated by the constant calls...
Return of the Dyeland Census!
Credits: The photographs used on this page (barring the 2nd) are from
an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon
Water Productions. Image 2 is owned by New World Television and Braun
Entertainment Group. They are not being used to seek profit.)
As those of you in the States no
doubt know... having been reminded by numerous commercials, cartoon
characters, and mail... it's a census year! So it seemed like a
good time to bring the Dyeland Census back. Unfortunately, Andrew
already answered back in JABB 263.
Darn. So my next best option was to answer as a character utterly
enamored with him. I'd like to invite anyone else who has Dyeland
characters to fill this out for future newsletters. But now I'm
turning this over to LJA...
1. Full name: (Lady)
JenniAnn Dwynwen Chandler, also called Psyche, also called Laja by
Andrew (who is also called Lovely One, Skin Horse, Andrewkins, Amish
Boy, Dearest One, and more! Check my T-shirt to see them all!)
2. Date of birth: Many moons
after Andrew's. I wonder if he's older than the moon?
3. Place(s) of residence: Willowveil
Castle in Dyeland City
near the bestest two-doors-down neighbor in the whole wide worlds.
4. Number of individuals residing at primary residence: Just me
and I like the
privacy. Although I like it better when Andrew's about and our
5. Pets: Just my
Fawn, although sometimes Lulu stays with me and we sit on the couch and
eat sweets and bemoan our absentee Andrew. Or else blindly wander
the country side beating our breasts and/or howling and
caffeine-high-dialing his cell phone. Only part of that's at all
Marital status- please check all that apply:
X Single, never married
O Single, divorced
O Single but in a relationship
O Angel, definitely not looking
X Ungether aka in love with Andrew- And, yes, Andrew that IS an
official status. So sayeth I.
6. Role in Dyeland or Sibling City: Friend,
Helper and world religions
teacher in the Tunnels, fill-in assistant at the Phoenix, co-official
flannel shirt purchaser, nickname T-shirt updater, decorator, and
hopelessly devoted to... you guessed it.
8. Median income (please state type of currency): He smiles
and that's all I
need. OMG. That's too sappy even for me. But
true... I deserve a pass on the sappiness, though. Andrew's
away and I've been rereading Jane
Eyre. This is a very bad combo. I think the simple
fact that I'm not trying to psychically call Andrew back by shouting
his name three times really speaks highly of me. ;-)
9. Measurements (need only fill out if you are male and regularly
have ladies swooning over you and "borrowing" your clothing items and
thus may feel the need to replace clothing items): Yay!
10. Emergency contact(s): Depends on
what the emergency
is. Generally my parents or Vincent and Catherine. But if
I'm just plain freaking out... Andrew excels at talking me down.
11. Additional comments: Yes,
I did just fill this out to gush about Andrew. As I said, he's
away at the
time of this writing (March 18, 2010). It was either this or flip
through scrap books of him whilst listening to maudlin mixed CDs and
single-handedly driving up the cost of Kleenex. This is healthier
and more green, right?
If you think
you might be interested in filling this out, please let me know!