all drifting reefwards now,
faith is our only anchor. Thank God!"
and welcome to
another JABB Halloween issue! Because I
needed a bit of a break from story-writing and had some other non-story
form ideas in mind for this occasion, Yvette has written another great
Dyeland story for us. Please click the link below to read about
this year's Dyeland Halloween party, hosted by Willy Wonka! What
could be more appropriate on this most candy-ified of all holidays!?!?
I also hope ya enjoy the rest of this. And happy haunting!
Just remember: friends don't let friends dress as grim reapers and
while I remain very much an Androoler at heart, it's no secret
that I've become quite fond of Mick St. John. For those who don't
know, Mick is the heroic vampire on CBS' new Friday night series
"Moonlight." He's just plain adorable and I know a couple other
people in this group agree with me. However, I think it's
important for us all to remember that while some vampires may be cute
and even cuddly and, okay, much more prone to be shirtless than
Andrew... in general, AODs are much better than vampires. So I
Ten Reasons AODs are Better
10. Andrew, Adam and
Henry make a much more attractive band than
Count Dracula, the Mummy, and Frankenstein would.
9. Andrew can participate in Dyeland's 1st
Annual Best Garlic
Bread Contest. Vampires cannot. But why is there a Best
Garlic Bread Contest, anyhow?
8. Andrew can see himself in a
mirror. Which means if he
walks in front of one you get to see two Andrews at once!
7. Andrew doesn't start aging whenever he
While I'm sure we'd all love Andrew no matter what he looked like, I
think I can speak for everyone when I say we prefer him with hair and a
nice, full face with lovely rounded ears instead of bald and spindly
with pointy ears like that Nosferatu fellow.
6. Andrew really is immortal. Which
means Van Helsing can
run at him with a stake and sword all he wants and it ain't gonna kill
him. Although methinks that if Dr. Van Helsing were to come at
Andrew with either a stake or sword someone *would* end up dead: Van
Helsing. And then we'd all get to read about Androolers on
5. If Andrew is in the desert then just sit back,
enjoy, and may be hope he'll unbutton a couple shirt buttons as he's
been known to do. If a vampire is in the desert too long... in
of Mick "no more vampire." So... AOD in a partially
buttoned white shirt or dead vampire? Which would you
4. If Andrew stops by your place and
suddenly becomes very, very
tired all ya gotta do is get him to a couch or bed (not yours!)
You don't need to empty out the freezer a la "Moonlight" or go coffin
shopping a la "Dracula."
3. May be Andrew can't turn into a bat but
he can wield
baseball bat with an awesome amount of power. SWOON!
2. If you're visiting
and he says he's hungry all ya gotta do is order a pizza or
something. Not cover your neck and run away screaming.
1. If Andrew is visiting and gets thirsty
all ya need
to ask him
is "Soda, juice, tea, coffee or water?" and not "Type A, O, AB, or B?"
Author's note: I would like to make mention of
one vampire who just may
be as cool as an AOD. Or at least as cute as one: Charles
Rocket's Dadcula in "Hocus Pocus." Any vampire who wears pajamas
to a public party is cool in my book.
Now it's time to turn to Dyeland. Ya'll may have heard
"Interview with a Vampire" and even TBAA's "Interview with an
Angel." Well, since Andrew's way cuter than Lestat and Monica, I
decided it was high time for...
with an Angel of
Sunday, October 28th, 2007
Our interview takes place in
of Willowveil Castle. Cotton spider webs are draped over lamps
and chandeliers. A few multi-colored witches and pumpkins occupy
coffee tables and bookshelves. But perhaps most importantly the
room is also occupied by Andrew who sits nervously on a flowery
sofa. He smiles when Lady JenniAnn enters carrying two mugs of
apple cider. She places them on two pumpkin shaped coasters and
then takes her place in a chair across from Andrew.
LJA: Are you sure you want to do this? I mean I'm not so
desperate for newsletter material that I'd make you uncomfortable just
for a good JABB. Actually, I'd never do that no matter how
desperate for material.
Andrew: ::sips cider::
Mmm. This is good,
thanks. And, yes, I know you wouldn't. Really it's
okay. Ask me about Halloween. I'm ready. ::takes a
LJA: ::raises eye brow, unsure:: Okay... if you say
So, Andrew, it's a matter of public knowledge that you hate
Halloween. Would you please explain to our readers why that's so?
Andrew: Sure. And I do want to
say it's not that I don't
appreciate the efforts of those in Dyeland to make me
comfortable. Last year when you all dressed up like angels of
death as we really are... well, I was touched. So were Adam and
Henry. It's just when I leave Dyeland...
LJA: ::grinning wickedly:: Then just don't ever leave
Andrew: ::chuckling:: Tempting
but I don't think the Father would
go for that. Halloween here is great. But in other
places... I mean if it's not kids dressed as the grim reapers then it's
little girls running around in costumes that no parent should
LJA: ::sighs:: Yeah, it has changed even since I was
bare mid-riffs in sight back then. But it seems like you've been
carrying this Halloween thing for a lot longer than this yucky risque
costume trend started.
Andrew: ::thinking:: It's hard
to say. May be it
was... ::looks uncomfortable and more than a little sad::
LJA: ::reaches across the coffee table for his hand::
Now please don't be sad! This was stupid. I asked people
they thought might be interesting for this Halloween edition and a few
suggested I interview you and get to the bottom of the Halloween
thing. But I won't continue on with this interview if it causes
you pain. Never. I mean what are they gonna do? Fire
me? ::laughs:: Course... I could just make something up.
sweet but I don't want you to lie for
LJA: Well, may be it wouldn't be lying so much as parody.
just make up the most ridiculous reasons that we know they'd never
believe but they'd at least get a good laugh. ::reaches for a
note pad and then realizes her right hand is still holding
Andrew's:: Oh... umm... didn't realize I was still holding
your hand. ::blushes::
Andrew: ::releasing her hand::
Thanks. So... why do I hate
LJA: Okay... one year you became madly addicted to... name a
LJA: Twizzlers. Okay, you proceeded to eat hundreds of
and got sick and had to spend Halloween in the ER. And you'd
spent hours putting together a Wyatt Earp costume only to end up in a
very unflattering, not terribly dignified, nearly paper hospital
Great. Wyatt Earp, huh?
LJA: Well... ya'd look pretty darn good in that sorta
Actually... I know ya did. Seen the photos. It's good to
count Ronald as a friend. ::grins::
Andrew: ::shakes head:: I
shudder to think what else
LJA: The toga phase was nice. ::giggles::
Andrew: ::reddens and then smiles
brightly and reaches for the phone::
LJA: Who are ya calling? Please don't get mad at
He's just so impressed by all you've done and eager to show off and,
well, you could hardly expect me to tell him no.
Andrew: No, I'm just calling my own
"Ronald." ::winks and then
says into the phone:: Mrs. Chandler, hi. It's Andrew.
Good thanks and yourself? That's great. No, JenniAnn's just
fine. But I am calling about her. I was thinking I might
do some scrap booking of our friends here. Is there any chance I
could get some photos of JenniAnn when she was younger? I'd copy
them and give the originals back to you, of course. One where she
got into your make-up? Sounds great! Gym uniform?
LJA: Hey... ::laughing uncontrollably even as she tries to
at the phone:: You're such a brat. ::shouts:: Mom,
stop helping him. He's being mean.
Andrew: ::clearly enjoying
this:: Thanks! I would love to
come over Tuesday to go through photos. I'll see you then.
Hold on. ::grins mischieviously at JenniAnn:: Anything you
wanted to say to your mom?
LJA: ::sighs resignedly and takes the phone:: Hi.
he's adorable. ::kicks Andrew's boot and then grins:: Enjoy
your lunch. No tub photos. Love you. Bye.
::hangs up:: Very cute. I'm telling Tess on you.
Andrew: You know what they say: what
goes around comes around.
LJA: Yep, turnabout's fair play but I should warn ya... My
madly committed to having grandchildren. Before I met Eliot she
had some idea, having seen the "Touched" episode about Kelly, that we
could adopt. Sposing I never got over you, I mean. So you
have fun with that. Ya may still
be fall back. ::sighs
contentedly and smiles beatifically:: I love karma.
Andrew: ::begins choking
cider he was sipping:: Adoption... fall back?
LJA: Yep, a "cosmic Brangelina" as she put it. That's a
pretty shade of
red you've got going on, by the way. ::laughs
hysterically:: This is just too good. You so better not
ever think about falling. Your devilish plans apparently
backfire. Anyway... Halloween. Reasons to not like it.
Andrew: ::still dazed:: Uh
LJA: One year you went as a Storm Trooper and Monica
helmet cept she didn't let it dry and when you put it on it mucked up
into your hair and ya had to shave it all off!
LJA: You were a disc jockey one October and heard "The Monster
many times that you got so sick of it and ran around screaming
"Mash die, mash die!" whenever ya heard it. But some crazed fan
Hawkeye and Hot Lips heard you and thought you were wishing ill upon
the cast of M*A*S*H and knocked ya out. How's that?
Andrew: ::laughs:: How do you
come up with such crazy things?
LJA: My brain's a scary place. C'mon, you think of
that devilishness to good use.
Andrew: Hmm... Okay, may be
one year Monica begged me to dress up
as Prince Charming because she wanted to be Cinderella and didn't want
to celebrate alone. But a group of shippers saw us and chased us
into a chapel and almost forced us to get married against our
will. Is that okay?
LJA: ::falls of her chair laughing:: That's
Andrew: I thought you'd enjoy
LJA: Anything else ya can think of?
Andrew: I'm not sure I could top
that one. Actually, I need to
get to an assignment. I'll be back in plenty
of time for the Halloween party at Willy's, though. And my
meeting with your mom. ::tries to hide a cringe::
LJA: ::giggles:: Oh good. Well, thanks for doing
me. I think everyone will enjoy it. At least I hope they
will. Enjoy wherever you're going... if ya can. We'll see
Andrew: ::stands also::
Thanks, enjoy the rest of your Sunday.
And thanks for understanding about my not wanting to share the real
LJA: ::hugs him:: No problem. Be well, Andrew.
Andrew: You too.
LJA: ::to herself:: Now... leave him to squirm or call my
mother and do damage control? ::ponders and then sighs::
Why am I such a
goody-goody? ::picks up
the phone and dials:: Hi Mom. This is about your meeting
Andrew Tuesday. Please don't bring up the "cosmic Brangelina"
thing. Well, cause it's weird. Yes, I realize it's just a
joke but I don't want Andrew embarrassed. And if it got back to
Eliot somehow he might feel weird about it, too. Okay.
Thanks. See ya soon. Love you. Bye. ::hangs up
and turns to where Andrew had been sitting:: You owe me.
Wherever you are now. ::looks upward:: Please keep grim
reapers and ghouls and what have ye away from him, Father. And
whatever it is that he's holding inside that surfaces around this time
of year... I know You share that burden with him and thank You for
that. Please keep us all safe this Halloween and happy and
together and always aware of Your love. Amen. Oh and happy
Credits: The "Hocus Pocus" photograph used on this page is
owned by Walt Disney Pictures. The rest of the photographs are
from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used
to seek profit.)