"Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Knowledge is limited.
Imagination encircles the world."
~ Albert Einstein

Hi all!

It really doesn't seem like two weeks have passed since CABB 6, let alone three weeks since JABB 226.  But I guess it has been that long!  So now I've scrambled to get JABB 227 together.  I hope the time crunch doesn't show too much.  Course now that I've admitted it was rushed you're probly more likely to think of it as rushed...  Why am I so honest???  Must be Monica's fault.  ;-)  But that's beside the point.  I hope ya enjoy this back-to-school themed issue!

God bless
Jenni


It's been a few years since I was in school but I can remember the value of a good excuse note at times.  While I certainly don't advocate skipping classes, sometimes it's unavoidable.  So the following Dyelanders and friends have prepared ready-made excuse notes for you to use when absent... or if you run into certain other problems.  They only ask that they be held harmless if your teacher or professor fails to accept these. 

Excuse Notes from Dyeland
Dear Mr. ________:
Please excuse ________ from school today.  She isn't feeling well and I take illnesses very seriously.  Therefore, I suggested my friend take some time to get better instead of letting this illness progress.  I guess that kind of concern is an occupational hazard.

Thank you,
Andrew
Angel of Death

Dear Miss ________:
Please excuse ________ from yesterday's Literature class.  I am afraid her absence is my own fault.  I decided to read parts of "Wuthering Heights" to my own Literature class.  ________ was volunteering as my Helper.  I am afraid I had no idea she would be moved to inconsolable tears over the sad fate of Cathy and Healthcliff.  By the following morning her eyes were so rimmed in red she was terribly embarrassed to make an appearance at school.  Well I know how painful the teasing of one's peers can be so I deemed it best to keep her home.  As Alexander Pope said "to err is human, to forgive divine."  I trust that after reading this note you will express the divine nature you were endowed with by our Creator.

Be well,
Vincent

Dear Dr. ________:
I'm sorry that ________ didn't make it to class yesterday.  I for one was really disappointed to learn she would be missing out on your lecture about the always interesting Benjamin Franklin.  I hope any disappointment you might feel will be put at ease by the knowledge that I gave ________ my own lecture about the founding father.  I'm sure ________ won't mind hearing your own take if you're willing to let her make up the lecture.
While I'm writing you, I was wondering if you could give me the name of your cafeteria man or woman or company.  I'd really like to talk to them about the origins of the meat products offered at your school.  Especially the turkey.  I think I might have a deal for them it would be wise not to refuse.  If you can get the kids to eat mystery meat, I'm sure they'll have no complaints with my turkey-like substance.

Many thanks,
Adam

Dear Mr. ________:
Please excuse ________ from school again today.  It turns out she's in love with me.  And since I'm an angel of death, it's not a good thing.  She's hysterical right now.  Do you have a guidance counselor at your school?  Please let me know. 

Thanks,
Andrew

Dear Mrs. ________:
I would just like to say that I think it irresponsible of your school to have cappuccino machines in your cafeteria and frappuccinos in your vending machines.  As if I don't have enough trouble with a friend of mine and her mocha lattes, you need to contribute to an entire generation's caffeine addiction.  You might notice that ________ is not in class today.  That's because she was up until 4 AM on a caffeine buzz.  If I hear "Danny Boy" one more time I'm going to throw something.  Honestly... as if I don't have enough on my plate with my angel babies...

~Tess

Dear Mr. ________:
It's me again.  Andrew.  I'm sorry ________ wrote "________ hearts Andrew" on the wall outside the science lab.  I swear I had no idea she'd do that.  As it happens, I once had a side job as a graffiti remover.  Could I possibly lend my services to your school as a token of my regret over that unfortunate incident.  By the way, any luck getting ________ to see that guidance counselor?

Thanks again,
Andrew


Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you look at it), excuse notes will only get you out of so much schoolwork.  Eventually you're going to have to settle down and get to studying.  But may be that won't be so painful with these JABB-approved study tips.


1.  So the psychological geniuses have come out saying we shouldn't use food as rewards cause it warps our relationship with food and contributes to the obesity epidemic.  That's all well and good and even makes sense but how can you reward yourself for completing that 10 page paper about the Roman Empire or that five paragraph essay about that book you didn't want to read in the first place?  Reward yourself with Andrew every step of the way!  Last I checked, psychologists haven't linked exposure to recorded images of John Dye to obesity.  So figure out how many steps there are to your project.  Let's pretend there are five.  Choose your five favorites of the TBAA episodes you have on hand.  Rank them with 1 being your most favorite and five being your fifth favorite.  After completing step one, view the fifth episode on your list.  Keep going until you've completed all steps and can view your favorite episode with out feeling guilty!

2.  If your school engages in a book buy back program, it's important to keep your books in great condition.  Or at least as great as possible since you probly got some beat-up, written on, so highlighted it's nearly all yellow or pink textbook for $85.  So cover your books with paper bags or wrapping paper and accessorize with photos of Andrew or JD or Adam or Vincent or whomever strikes your fancy.  May be put Vincent photos on your English anthology.  Andrew might get Algebra since he's so good at "the new math."  And may be consider decking your History book with Adam photos since he's seen so much and, based on his speech about Benjamin Franklin, not shy about sharing that.  Have fun!

3.  Link different units in school to a TBAA episode or related movie or show to help you through the year.  While it may be a stretch, you could watch "Hocus Pocus" starring Charles Rocket after a class about the witch trials.  If you're learning about the Vietnam War, watch "Tour of Duty" or TBAA's "Made in the USA."  And if you're in college, any day's a good day to watch "Campus Man."  The possibilities are near-endless!

4.  Get some of those personalized pens and pencils.  Except instead of simply getting your own name, get pens with the names Andrew, John, Adam, etc. on them.  Think fondly of your favorite angels or actors as you work on that math problem!

5.  Finally, don't get totally bummed out if you don't get the grade you want on a test or paper.  And don't feel bad if a certain subject doesn't come as easily to you as it does others.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses and you can always strive to do better next time.  Just remember, God made you and He loves you!



JABB 228
JABB TOC

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)