The JABB 205 Playlist

"Oh...  Time to repress another memory!"
~~ Bart Simpson, The Simpsons

Hi all! Welcome to JABB 205!

We've celebrated JABB a lot.  Anniversaries, the 200th newsletter, and more.  Now I think it's high time we celebrate... the JABB that wasn't!  I think it's fair to say that we've kept fairly faithful to the show in our depiction of Andrew.  Granted, Dyeland's a bit of a stretch but I like to think he still acts like the Andrew we know and love from TBAA even amidst the colorful characters and locations of Dyeland.  I hope so anyway cause we sure try!  But what if we didn't care how true to TBAA we remained?  Below I explored a few situations that will NEVER occur on JABB.  I hope you enjoy them and that you have a good few days until your next JABB arrives!    

God bless,

Things that You Will Never Read in a JABB Newsletter
(Except this one)  

(I'd like to take this moment to remind people the drool buckets can also be used as handy vomit catchers.  Haha.  ;-)  

1.  "Andrew paced the hospital waiting room, awaiting the birth of his firstborn.  He'd never been this nervous in his entire lifetime.  Well... except for that time he streaked at the Oscars."

2.  "It had been years since Monica had been promoted.  She'd missed seeing Andrew every day so she had suggested this reunion.  Now she stared at Andrew across the table.  She sighed as her gaze lingered on his eyes.  Then drifted to his cheeks and his lips.  Studying the face that meant so much to her.  Then she leapt up from the table, she couldn't hold her
feelings in any longer.  She screamed 'In the name of all that's holy... lay off the Botox, Andrew!  You look like a goldfish!!!

3.  "Jenni rolled her eyes when asked about Andrew's jeans, T-shirt, and flannel shirt ensemble.  'Yuck.  What a slob.  Hated it!' she groaned."

4.  "Adam felt bad for Andrew.  It really hadn't been nice of Tess to call him 'an outdated hippie with poor fashion sense and split ends.'  The poor blonde angel hadn't eaten for two days he was so upet.  Adam knew how to fix that.  He went into the kitchen and returned with a plate for his friend.  'Eat this sandwich,' he commanded.  'It's 100% real turkey meat!'"

5.  "Andrew fell back against the wall.  He knew his time was almost up.  He figured now was a good time to confess.  'I...' he drew a shuddering breath and continued, 'shot JR Ewing.'  And then Andrew died."

6.  "Andrew warily eyed Gloria.  Something had been bugging him since he'd first met her.  And he was sure of it now...  She was *totally* the chick who had been in 'One Day at a Time.'"

7.  "Andrew couldn't believe it.  He'd fallen in love with the woman on TV.  He had to meet
her.  John Dye had worked with her once...  Maybe he had her number...  He grabbed the phone and once he heard it pick up the words came out in a stream: 'John!  I need Jennifer Lopez's phone number.  NOW!'"

8.  "Adam, Henry, and Andrew had at last come to a decision on a design.  They guffawed and slapped each other on the back as they waited for their turns with the tattoo artist.  They knew they would look completely awesome when they showed up at Monica's party with matching Care Bear tattoos on their foreheads."  

9.  "Lady JenniAnn slammed down the phone and growled.  Then she grabbed her purse, got up from her chair, and headed to the door.  'If I have to bail Andrew out of jail one more time for stealing cars, I'll throttle him!  This is the third bloody time this month!' she bellowed."

.  "Andrew and Adam were fed up with their assignments making them wait until the final round of Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune was over.  Suddenly they knew what they had to do: Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek had to go..."

.  "And that is why we at JABB have decided to become JEBB.  From now on we'll be the John/Eric Bucket Brigade.  Because that Eric Manion from 'Heart of the Beholder' is waaaay better than Andrew.  I mean, really, who wants a sweet, gentle, considerate angel when you can have a john who holds guns to women's heads?!  It's a no-brainer people!  JEBB forever!"

.  "Jenni is made-up.  She does not exist.  Anyone who ever saw her was actually seeing my secret little sister, Jana Dye.  Anyone who spoke to her heard only me using a voice diguising mechanism.  I really am John and I've been running JABB since day one.  Thank you all for feeding into my narcissism.  I truly am the most awesome man to ever live!  Here, have a drool bucket as you bask in the glory that is moi!"

(So I have a wicked side?  ;-)  ~Jenni who is not a shipper, is glad Andrew did not kill JR, and thinks Eric Manion is a loser.  Also... I am not the most awesome man to ever live.)

JABB 206

(Photo Credits: The photograph used on this page is from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  It is not being used to seek profit.)