Hi all!
This
is Jenni coming out of hiatus-mode for a wonderful occasion. Today,
possibly as you're reading this, our former co-president and JABB
co-founder, Audrey, is getting hitched! She's a married woman! I'm so
happy for her and her fiancé! I think this momentous occasion
deserves its own special newsletter. You'll all be receiving the
regular newsletter on the 3rd.
In
honor of her marriage, Audrey wrote a piece that will immediately
follow this introduction. Then you'll find a top ten written, in honor
of her wedding, by various Dyelanders.
God
bless,
Jenni
***DyeLight
Zone***
You
are about to enter a land where dreams come true and fantasies become
reality; a place where the unbelievable occurs. You are about to enter
the ***DyeLight Zone*** (twilight zone music playing)
“Here
comes the bride. All dressed in white.” The music wafts lightly in the
background. Audrey walks out of the empty corridor and faces the
delighted crowd. She begins walking slowly down the aisle. At the end
of the walkway, she spies her future. She freezes for a moment. Shakes
her head and looks again. “What is wrong with me?!” she thinks to
herself. “For a moment, I could have sworn my officiant was Andrew!”
She takes another step and freezes again. This time, to her left, there
is Monica smiling, waving a cup of coffee and wearing no shoes. Audrey
looks again, but it is only a friend from high school. She continues
down the aisle with no more interruptions. The ceremony commences with
the officiant having the bride and groom say their vows. Then they
exchange rings. Only when the best man reaches for the ring, Audrey
realizes that the best man is Andrew!! She steps back and nearly knocks
her maid of honor down! “Are you OK?!” she asks, almost afraid of the
answer. “Does that look like Andrew to you?” “WHAT?! Have you lost your
mind? Just get over there and finish this ceremony.” Audrey looks again
before she steps back to her husband-to-be, but there is no Andrew to
be found. She takes a deep breath and continues on.
After
taking pictures, with no “episodes”, Audrey makes a grand entrance to
her reception. Behind her, salty ocean waves crash haplessly on to the
sandy shore. The sun is setting, filling the sky with beautiful hues.
JenniAnn runs up to Audrey almost screaming with excitement. “Oh my
gosh Audrey! That was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen! It’s
just so amazing. I can’t believe you’re married now.” Audrey steps back
in horror. “What?!” JenniAnn questions.
“JenniAnn? Wh-Wha-What are you
doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Dyeland, or Nebraska or North Dakota or
something? How did you end up here?” “Oh don’t be silly. I wouldn’t
have missed this for the world. Did you see Andrew? He looks so cute in
that tux you got him.” “Tux?” Audrey, baffled by the events that have
unfolded, babbled on.
“What tux? Andrew who? What? What are you talking
about? I didn’t get any Andrew a tux.”
JenniAnn giggled. “Oh you are so
silly, sometimes. Don’t you ever stop joking around?” JenniAnn rolled
her eyes and rushed off to the buffet.
Audrey
latches on to her sweetheart and ushers him outside. “You’re not going
to believe this! I must be losing my mind.”
“So what else is new?” he
quips.
“Ha. Ha. I’m not kidding! I keep seeing Andrew, the angel of
death. And JenniAnn’s here.”
“What? You keep seeing an angel of death?
Maybe I need to get more alcohol into you and quick!”
Audrey just
sneers and walks off. He grabs her arm as she flees. She turns and sees
… Chiwawa! Audrey screams and runs inside. The crowd looks at her
apprehensively. Audrey looks about the surprised crowd, but to her
surprise, everyone in there is Andrew. It is then that she realizes she
has entered the ***DyeLight Zone*** (twilight zone music playing)
Top
Ten Things Dyelanders (and Angelic Friends) are Thinking about Audrey's
Marriage
10.
Adam: "When did she get to be a beauty? When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday when they were small? Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise,
sunset..."
9.
Lady JenniAnn: "Boy I'm sure gonna miss Audrey not living at the castle
so much. In fact, I'm pretty much alone in all of Dyeland City now.
Oh... Except..." <grins>
8.
Gloria: "I hope Audrey knows the origins of that tradition, it's really
very scandalous... May be I should tell her right now! Oh... Tess just
yanked me back into my seat. Nevermind, I'll wait til the reception."
7.
Karen: "Oh no, this means that it's going to be just JenniAnn and
Andrew in the city alone. Poor Andrew."
6.
Monica: "Audrey's such a lovely bride! All those lovely wee flowers...
I wonder if there's a cappuccino bar at the reception?"
5.
Bunny: "I wonder if she will still love and take care of my paw now
that she will have a husband?"
4.
Andrew: "Love is patient, love is kind, love... Wait... If Audrey moves
out... AH! It's just JenniAnn and me in all of Dyeland City!"
3.
Tess: "Hmph, Angel Girl's getting that glazed over look. I bet she's
wondering about a cappuccino bar. Just so long as they have those
little meatballs I'll be happy."
2.
Chiwawa: "That guy better remember I knew Audrey first. She's like a
mother to me. And therefore I, her precious lil Chiwawa, am the
main man in her life! Grrr..."
1.
From Jenni:
All
kidding aside now. Audrey, I'm so glad you've been a part of JABB with
me. Those first years were some great times and I'm grateful you were a
part of them. I hope you and your husband's life together will be
everything you hope it to be! Now... Let's toast the happy couple.
C'mon, glasses up everyone. An Irish blessing for them:
May
God be with you and bless you
May
you see your children's children
May
you be poor in misfortunes,
Rich
in blessings
May
you know nothing but happiness
From
this day forward
Congratulations
Audrey and her Hubby!
