to Listen to
"We Are the Champions"
JenniAnn: Hello everyone! I'm reporting live with JABBnews on the Net on Dyeland's latest presidential race. As with the last election, we have three worthy candidates vying for the office. Naturally, our current President Andrew is up for reelection, again running under the Horologium party. New to this election is Legolas Greenleaf, representing the Quenya party and Kiwi representing the Fruitylicious party. But let's not waste any more time! The candidates are gathered and the debate's about to start!
Audrey: Fruitylicious Party? Is this a Presidental race or a bubblegum ad?
Moderator: Welcome, let's not waste any time. Our first question goes to Legolas and was sent in by a JABB member. Legolas, do you have a security plan to deal with all the fangirls that will most likely be invading Dyeland?
Kiwi: The same way he deals with everybody else that gets in his face. Shoots, maims and kills them!!! Come to think of it....I actually don't have a problem with this policy for dealing with the fans at all. Hmmm, I'm beginning to see Legolas in a new light. He's a bloodthirsty, revengeful, shoot first and ask questions later, roughshod, violent and hateful man.
Audrey: The bubble gum does have a point.
Legolas: My bow and arrow are only used when needed because I prefer to not kill humans. I do have a plan to deal with the possibility of fangirls invading Dyeland. It involves making sure that the presence of non-citizens of Dyeland are monitored in their coming and going. Unless someone is a citizen or a guest of a citizen that person will be monitored.
Moderator: Thank you Legolas, now our next question is for all the candidates. Being President is not all serious-business. What, in your mind, will be the most entertaining aspect of being Prez?
Andrew: Meeting Dyeland's newest residents, catching up with the old, and sharing more good times together with each of you and your families and also within our community events and happenings we all enjoy. And in saying that, Princesses, when is our next ball? I need to brush up on my tango.
Audrey: I reserve the first dance!! Yeah baby.
Legolas: Getting to know the citizens of Dyeland and especially both of the princesses a bit better. I do not know the princesses very well so it will be amusing to spend a bit of time with them.
Kiwi: There's serious business???? You're kidding. Pulling my leg(olas) right!?! Most entertaining aspect.....watching Anarchy take over and destroy all that Andy and the Princesses have built!!! Yer baby. YEAH!!!
Moderator: Well then! I can tell this will be a most interesting campaign! Unfortunately, that wraps up the first half of our debate. Thank you gentlemen and... lady?
JenniAnn: Wow, we're off to an interesting start. And we have plans for a ball!! I need a dress... And a hair appointment and... Wait, I don't go to hair dressers.
JenniAnn: Hmmm... Well, I still need a dress!
JenniAnn: Oh! Uh, I'm on TV! Oops. Well, uhh, we'll be back with more from our candidates after these brief messages!
Uhhh.... Due to technical difficulties the campaign commercials are... umm... not here. So just imagine a few... Or go watch some actual commercials. Or just imagine your favorite commercials. Or not. Really, I don't care. Okay, I'm done.
JenniAnn: And we're back! If you're just joining us this is JABBnews on the Net bringing the first debate for the 2003 Presidential Race to you.
Audrey: It’s been an interesting debate so far with lots of gore, thanks to Kiwi.
JenniAnn: Now, let's move on to the second half of this history-making debate.
Moderator: The following question was sent in by another of our JABB members. With Princess JenniAnn having been a bit unstable the past couple of years, and the kidnapping of Dyeland citizens and the disappearance of others, how do you think that you can protect the citizens from Princess JenniAnn if she loses it again and how do you plan to protect the citizens of Dyeland from the invasion of characters of suspicious behavior?
JenniAnn: Hey! I am not unstable! Well, not any more...
Audrey shoots JenniAnn a look of disbelief. It was just YESTER…
JenniAnn: Moving on!
Kiwi: Sheese, say that again in English this time. JenniA, easy, borrow Elfie boy's bow and put the poor girl (and us too) out of her misery. As to characters of suspicious behavior, I say, Party at my place, bring a friend of dubious character with you and the citizens be dammed!!! ho ho!
Andrew: I do not think it is Princess JenniAnn we have to worry about.
Kiwi: Yearh. Andyboy is right. Now that Legoless is in Dyeland I'd be more worried about the Orcs that are searching for him!! Mind you, I have the 'Precious', so I'm not worried about myself......
Legolas: My bow and arrow will not be used to harm any citizens of Dyeland. I really do not like the thought of using it in Dyeland unless they are needed in defense. Princess JenniAnn will not be a problem as far as her supposed instability. What most do not know is that Jennifer is actually quite unstable herself. I feel as though I have been able to keep her stable and Princess JenniAnn is nothing compared to Jennifer. Yes, I believe that Jennifer is stable enough that I can leave her and go on to lead Dyeland.
Moderator: We're now at the end of our debate. You now each have 10 seconds to deliver a message to the voters.
Legolas: As president I will not only lead Dyeland I will also serve with whatever benevolent means necessary.
Andrew: Dyeland is a wonderful place to be. It's full of love, companionship, acceptance and understanding and I for one would not like to see it change. I promise to do my uttermost best, with the Grace of God and the support from the Princesses and my fellow Dyelanders to keep it this way.
Kiwi: If you don't vote me, you'll regret it! Trust me! More chocolate anyone?
Audrey: Bubble gum and chocolate?
JenniAnn: Well, there you have it folks! It's only the first debate and I can all ready tell this is going to be one interesting election! If you have any questions for the next debate please send them here. See you next time. This is JenniAnn with JABBnews on the Net signing off!