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"Glory" from Rent

Over the years, we have tried many different top ten lists and story ideas. However, even with all our creativity, some of them just didn't seem to want to fly. Here is a brief look at the ideas that never made it into JABB. Let us bow our heads for a moment of silence for these poor ideas that died before their time.

Reasons why Andrew likes Halloween

The Hair conspiracy: Monica's involvement

Kermit the Frog meets Andrew's "ultimate reality"

Top Ten reasons why Andrew didn't take you

JABB's take on death: Why it is actually healthy

A cute dog named Chiwawa. Oh wait...

Andress: The mystical love child

You can't join JABB because you just aren't obsessed enough!

The Princesses, Andrew and the love triangle

Passions meets Touched by an Angel. Tess is an evil witch and Andrew is a toy doll come to life.

Survivor: 12 sick patients are placed in a room with Andrew. Which one will he choose?

Andrew as President: MR. PRESIDENT! You're supposed to KISS the babies, not KILL the babies!

Top ten reasons why having an angel's baby is out of the question. Especially if he is the angel of death

Oh man, who cut the cheese: J/A's other side begins to show.

Dawg returns as SUPER AOD! Only, in a freak accident, everytime he wags his tail, another person dies.

In a fit of passion, Princess Audrey murders Princess JenniAnn so that Princess JenniAnn can finally see a murder trial.

Andrew goes back in time and the three angels meet changing the history of Touched all together

Andrew dies so Adam takes his place for the rest of JABB's history.

Jenni and Audrey are replaced with 20 monkeys sitting at keyboards. What they type is bound to be better.


Readers, we'd like to welcome our resident advice columnist, Annie Dru, back. If you have any questions for her please email
.

Dear Annie Dru,
I have been having many problems lately. Recently, I have been having horrible nightmares. I wake up screaming and drowning in sweat. It seems that during all of my dreams, not once has Andrew appeared! Oh Annie Dru! What am I to do?!?!
Please help,
Sleepless

Dear Sleepless,
Poor baby, Andrew's not in your dreams! You think you've got problems?! Honey, last night I dreamed that my dresser drawer and desk formed a pact to try and kill me. Nevertheless, you seem concerned so pop in "The Journalist" and other Andrew-filled TBAA episodes approximately two hours before going to bed. Then he'll be in your unconscious and hopefully return to your dreams. Just watch out for the bloodthirsty bedroom furniture.
Signed,
Annie Dru



Dear Annie Dru,
I seek your guidance. Yesterday, Andrew appeared to me. He told me that in order to save the world, I must sacrifice my beloved dog. Now, I love my dog more than anything! I don't know if I could give him up, even for the sake of the world. Oh, Annie Dru, what am I to do?!
Signed,
Dogged.

Dear Dogged,
With all due respect, are you sure you were lucid during this alleged encounter? Andrew doesn't strike me as the animal sacrifice type. Frankly, I'm not entirely sure Adam wouldn't go after him if he dared encourage the harm of a beloved pet. Please, seek help immediately. Friends don't let friends harm Fido.
Sincerely,
Annie Dru

 

JABB TOC

JABB 93