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Hello, we've been
inspired by the latest TV craze to start our own reality TV show.
However, we didn't have enough money to mail you all a copy of the
episode so we just had someone transcribe it. Enjoy!
(We open to see JenniAnn trying, with much difficulty, to move a table from the middle of the ballroom towards the side of the room. Audrey stands in the doorway, amused.)
Audrey: (whispering) She's just a
little too excited. See, Andrew's been away for a while with his work
and tonight is his homecoming party. She was driving me crazy buzzing
around the food and flipping out every five minutes. I told her to go
move that table, little does she know I've nailed it to the floor.
Anyway, should give me a good hour.
Daisy: (enters from the storage
room) Audrey, where did you say you wanted the stereo set up? Cliff's
just about to haul it out.
Audrey: Where ever you like. This is part your deal, too. (Daisy nods and returns to Cliff. Audrey turns towards camera) Daisy and Cliff's son is coming home from college. He left about a year before we got here. Quite the mystery actually... No one knows what he's like but we like his parents so... Oh dear. (sees JenniAnn peering at the legs of the table and looking puzzled)
JenniAnn: Sheesh, some one had the nerve to nail our table to the floor! Now why would a person go and nail a table to the floor?
Audrey: (under her breath) Maybe to get a pest out of their hair?
Audrey: Uh, I don't know but we best not care. We'll just put the refreshments in the center of the room.
JenniAnn: Fine by me! Now, I'm gonna go help move that stereo.
Audrey: Whatever, but don't you think this sort of a work in a dress is a little... stupid?
JenniAnn: Naw, I'll be careful.
Audrey: Fine then, I'm gonna go check on the cake. Be back in five.
(We hear a tearing sound as Audrey returns to the ballroom after the five minutes.)
Audrey: Let me guess...
JenniAnn: Yes, fine it was my dress! I'm gonna go change since we're done. Just one more hour!
Audrey: Good, you do that. (under her breath again) Don't hurry back!
Audrey: Uhh, don't worry Jack.
(We once again see the ballroom, this time the preparations are completed and several groups of people stand in clusters around the room. Audrey and JenniAnn stand nearest the door, ready to answer it when Andrew arrives.)
Audrey: (to the camera) Well, it's five to seven, he should be here any time. It's a good thing, too. Some of these people were getting a little crazy without him. I mean look at them! (JenniAnn begins pacing madly, others are exhibiting other nervous habits.) I wish he'd hurr... (door bell sounds) He's here!
runs to the door, JenniAnn having been brought closest by her
pacing is the first there, flings open the door, and immediately hugs
the bewildered man.)
JenniAnn: Andrew! We missed you so
much! How are you? I hope... (she's suddenly interrupted by the
giggling of the crowd behind her. Finally she looks up and immediately
turns beat red and takes a good five steps back, nearly pushing over
The man: Umm, hi. Sorry I'm not Andrew I'm uhh... Mom!
Daisy: Matt! Cliff get over here!
(The family embraces as the curious crowd looks on. Audrey, meanwhile, escorts a stunned JenniAnn to a near by chair, trying to stifle her giggles).
JenniAnn: I...I... Matt?? Why don't I remember a Matt?
Audrey: Hey, we told you he was
coming. I guess you didn't hear. Figures, right after we told you you
said "Do you think it ever snows..."
(Andrew suddenly appears in the doorway)
Andrew: "In heaven? Andrew, do you
think aliens ever wonder if there's life elsewhere, if there are
aliens?" I could go on but I think I'd rather catch up with you all.
hug suddenly surrounds the angel of death. And, as a group,
they make their way into the ballroom to make up for the near-month of
(A sizable group has gathered around Andrew and laugh as he tells about some of his assignments and for some they cry.)
Andrew: Now, what's been going on here?
JenniAnn: Ooh! Audrey found a
leprechaun! Well, actually I heard him first but she saw him... but
then he disappeared.
Andrew: (laughing) A leprechaun? Really and did he grant you three wishes?
Audrey: Uh no... That's genies but...
Actually the less said about the .... well, the less said about
whatever it was, the better. We can save that story for tomorrow. Now
let's concentrate on happy things. Oh, Matt came home. (Audrey motions
towards Matt and his family as JenniAnn once again turns red. Audrey
a devilish look.) You actually missed his grand entrance, JenniAnn
a lovely shade.
(Andrew laughs and Matt approaches the group.)
Matt: Yes, I'm afraid I unwittingly stole your hug, sir.
Andrew: Please, just Andrew. I don't believe we've met.
Matt: No, I moved away before you all came here. It's greatly improved. I'm dying to know what's taken place since I left. So much has changed... but for the better I think.
Andrew: Well, where to start? Kidnappings, witness protection programs, elections, brainwashing... (laughs) We may be here all night.
JenniAnn: Fine by me... I don't think I could sleep from the excitement. A whole month since you were here and now... you're back!
Andrew: Okay, then who should tell our story?
Audrey: You tell it best.
Andrew: Eight years ago there was
this TV show...
(The sunlight begins to peek through the curtains of the ballroom. The crowd, though somewhat dwindled, still looks at Andrew as he finishes the story).
Andrew: Then we come to the present. We're not sure what will happen to the show but no matter what the years TBAA were on brought joy to those that watched it. They had become friends, they had grown, and they would never be the same. Sometimes they would hear a dove coo and they would think of Monica or Tess or Andrew. They'd think of the angels and think of the One who sent them. They knew...
(Cliff rushes in from the hallway.)
Cliff: Hurry! You guys come on!
They're announcing the TV schedule for next year.
(The entire group stampedes towards the door, through the hallway, and finally crams into the TV room.)
Announcer: Several shows this season faced an uncertain future. However the following shows have been renewed. Returning for a ninth season CBS' "Touched by an Angel," for a...
knew what the announcer had said next because the room had
erupted with applause and laughter.)