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"Hakuna Matata" from the Lion King

Northern/Southern JABB #1

JABB 88


 

Nothern JABB #1

Hello JABBers,

I am sad to say I've had to make some unfortunate changes with JABB. There has been a schism and Audrey and I have went our separate ways. Before agreeing to never speak again, we did divide up the JABB membership and assets. I am happy to say you were the part of the group I got in the agreement. From now on we are the Northern John/Andrew Bucket Brigade. Audrey will be heading the Southern JABB but the less said about that bunch the better. For all intents and purposes, they are no longer to be considered. I have drawn a line through the Dyeland Map so you can see our new territory. Everything above the line is ours. If your home is in the southern area I will see to it that your belongings are moved to our area. Also, Adam will now serve as our president as I unfortunately lost Andrew in the settlement to my former-copresident. If you have any questions about this development please email me.

I suppose I owe you all an explanation for this development so here goes...

Top Ten Reasons I Can't Stand Working with Audrey

10. She's just plain mean.

9. She plays her music too loud.

8. She makes fun of Vincent and some of my other friends.

7. She's tried to steal Andrew's attention from *me*.

6. She complains about everything I write in the newsletter. (I like Cliff and the elves, okay!)

5. She never refills the coffee pot when she drinks the last cup. Argh!

4. She calls my parents and tells them all sorts of lies about me.

3. She won't ever help clean the castle and I end up doing it all by myself!

2. After I send an issue of JABB she sends it back with comments like "Redundant" and "Immaturely written".

1. She won't let me be me.

I apologize that this is so short. I'm still nursing the wounds Audrey left me with...


Southern JABB #1

Hello JABBers,

I am troubled to say that I have had to make some unfortunate changes with JABB. There has been a schism of sorts, and JenniAnn and I have gone our separate ways. Before agreeing to never speak again, we did divide up the JABB membership and assets. I am happy to say you were the part of the group I got in the agreement. From now on we are the Southern John/Andrew Bucket Brigade. JenniAnn will be heading the Northern JABB but the less said about that bunch the better. For all intents and purposes, they are no longer to be considered. I have drawn a line through the Dyeland Map so you can see our new territory. Everything above the line is ours. If your home is in the nothern area I will see to it that your belongings are moved to our area. On a happy note, there will be no more Adam, as we "lost" him in an "unfortunate" settlement with my former-copresident. If you have any questions about this development please email me.

I suppose I owe you all an explanation for this development so here goes...
(and as by popular demand, A TOP TEN!)

10. She doesn't know what it means to live on EARTH!

9. JABB? Shouldn't it be JJABB? JenniAnn/John/Andrew Bucket Brigade?

8. Her wild "adventures" and "stories" are just a ploy to keep John/Andrew to herself!
(Hey, I'm looking out for your best interest too!)

7. I understand that little children need to foster their imaginations and play in fantasy worlds, but don't they usually out grow it?

6. She's always pestering me about cleaning some stupid castle. Why should I have to clean so much of it when in her mind, we have equal shares?

5. Every night. And I do mean EVERY NIGHT she listens to and sings along with her Godspell soundtrack at least 5 times.

4. She's just too nice and naive. One day a man came to the castle selling pet rocks. She bought three then thought she killed them the next morning when they hadn't moved. Needless to say, they all three got a "nice funeral" that they "deserved."

3. She has to correct EVERY spelling error I make.

2. After I send an issue of JABB she sends it back with comments like "Superficial" and "Rip-off".

1. She thinks I'm too evil to do JABB, so that's it. We're through!


JABB TOC
JABB 89