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"The Entertainer"

Hello, we got a little bored here in Dyeland Castle so we decided to have a sleep-over party. Here is just a little synopsis of what occurred...

"Okay, so let's see what 'Secrets and Lies' we got." JenniAnn said as she picked up the paper that had just been passed around the room. On the paper were several secrets and lies the guests had written about themselves and various Dyeland personalities. The only question was which were secrets and which were lies?

"Let's see if anyone can guess these correctly:

1. The Jackolantern of Death is A REAL BEING

2. Kiwi replaced Andrew with the original JDPMC ages ago, and no one has realized yet.

3. The Kiwi is really a man posing as a woman from New Zealand.

4. At one point Jenni had all intentions of naming her future daughter Annie Dru.

5. JABB was given this name because while it means John/Andrew Bucket Brigade it can also stand for Jenni/Audrey Bucket Brigade.

6. When she was younger Jenni used audio of Vincent growling to scare away a psycho phone caller. He/she stopped calling...

7. "Vincent" is the code name for Jenni's actual boyfriend.

8. Jenni was once physically wounded (accidentally) in a fight with her brother over whether Andrew was a wuss or not. She said no, he said yes.

9. The John/Andrew Bucket Brigade is known as JABB because Audrey just can't seem to SPELL it out!

10. J.A.B.B. became JABB because it's too hard to have to go back through every e-mail and pencil in the dot.

11. Chimama and the pups have locks of John's hair.

12. They were born with it.

13. Audrey really does love to eat Kiwi fruits.

14. Kiwi is a synonym for HIDEOUS.

15. J.A.B.B. was not expected to last past one issue.

16. JABB did not last past one issue.

17. Audrey actually considered naming her pet fish after Andrew, but later decided on Rubin (Gerin for Ruby since he was such a pretty red color) because it'd be too awkward to have to explain why she named a male fish JoAnna Dru.

18. Jenni and Audrey are actually twin sisters.

19. Audrey is the EVIL TWIN.

20. The drool buckets are really to knock someone over the head with when they get too obsessed with John." JenniAnn finished reading the list and giggled. She could only hope that some of those were lies...

Click here for answers


"Hmm... I'm still not at all tired, what next?" Audrey asked as she removed a copy of "The Journalist" from the VCR. It had been only one of the several episodes viewed by the group that evening.

The women sat there for a few moments thinking. Finally someone spoke up.

"What about makeovers?"

"Yeah that might be..." JenniAnn was about to agree until she noticed Kiwi staring with a rather wicked grin at her long locks. "Umm... You all can but I think I'm gonna just read or..." It was too late. Brushes and mirrors and clips and countless other items were all ready being pulled from bags.

Suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted the preparations. Audrey ran over to answer it. After a minute or two, she returned with John and Andrew in tow.

Everyone warmly greeted them and then... an idea came over the entire group like a flash...


"I suddenly remember why I stopped coming here so often..." John said only half joking.

"Oh stop complaining ya big wuss, we're almost done with your hair, what's left of it anyway. Yalook good enough to eat! Now you'll have to put this on in here, cause the other room is full of...stuff." Kiwi demanded with a sly grin as she pushed John towards a bag of clothes. JenniAnn ran towards the horrified actor and pushed him into another room.

"Humph... We'll have none of that! Privacy is good!" JenniAnn mused as she closed the door.

Kiwi crossed over to the other side of the room where Andrew was seated.

"I'm not liking this makeover idea one bit..." He commented.

"Me neither. It makes me very nervous..." JenniAnn said as she tried to pry a pair of scissors away from a Dyelander. "You can style his hair or whatever but I will not sit here for a repeat of the Season Five fiasco. I simply cannot write another Top Ten about Andrew's hair."

"And here I was thinking you were concerned about me." Andrew said laughing.

"Uh, yeah that too." JenniAnn answered as Kiwi and her cronies picked up a brush and started styling Andrew's hair.

"Hmmm. Andrew. Darh-ling," the Kiwi purred maliciously in his ear, "did I ever mention the fact I DON'T do hair and makeup? No, well that's a shame aint it. To late now to back out. Don't look so horrified Andy, you asked for this.....remember?"


After a few minutes the angel and the actor reentered the room, now filled to the brim with expectant Dyelanders. The room broke out in enthusiastic laughter as "Elvis" and "Luke Skywalker" came face-to-face. The impromptu stylists had done an amazing job. Kiwi was rolling on the floor laughing so hard she nearly wet her pants, she just couldn't believe these two idiots had let a bunch of silly women dress them up like this. They were never gonna live this one down if she could help it!!!!! "Hey John." the Kiwi cackled, "don't give up your day job!"

After a quick run to the nearby theater's prop room, "Elvis" was strumming away at his guitar and crooning. "Luke" was engaged in a battle with a group of laughing partygoers.

"I ain't nothin' but a hound..." John's concert was interrupted when Adam walked through the door, and thank the Lord. John was a terrible Elvis impersonator, despite the passion he had for the part.

"And you all laugh at me for talking to turkeys..." the angel of death said laughingly.

The above story was based in part on actual conversations on the
JABB YahooGroup. The members are often a vital part of these newsletters. If you'd like to join us and help write and/or brainstorm newsletters or if you'd just like to chat about life, email Jenni for more info. Or visit, set up a membership, and use the keyword "JABB" to find us and subscribe! Special thanks to Sara for supplying ideas for makeovers and for part of the "Secret and Lies" segment.

Newsletter 88