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"Girls Just Want to Have Fun"

Another two weeks have passed and here we are again! FYI, the Dyeland Laws have been posted online at:

Before we start I have some details pertaining to the Dye Day chat it will be held on February 8th at 7PM Central time. Feb. 8th is kinda late but that first weekend of February won't work and the weekend before is just too soon for people to have time to RSVP and then have us get things ready. It will be held in JABB's own Bravenet chatroom which you can access at:

We'd like to get an idea of how many people will be attending so that we can have the right amount of trivia questions. It is very important that you RSVP because if you wait til the evening of to decide to come it might very well have been cancelled due to lack of interest. We understand that something may come up and that's understandable. We just don't wanna end up sitting in a chat by ourselves to find out no one had wanted to come anyway. Plus those trivia questions can take hours to get ready. So if you think you may come please email Jenni by the 27th. And now to get everyone excited for the special day let's start!

We all know what we'd like to get John/Andrew for his birthday, but check out the top ten worst gifts he's received from J.A.B.B. members.

10. A hairless Chihuahua with the gift givers' hair glued on. (Where they came up with this idea I have yet to determine!)

9. Death mask from Scream

8. Breath mints. (When I found out which member sent him that, we're going to have a little chat.)

7. Extra heavy tools for his toolbelt. (Andrew says that his toolbelt is now so heavy that it practically pulls his pants all the way off! So now he won't wear it. PERIOD.)

6. 1,000,000 leather jackets. (John/Andrew notes: Please ladies. ONE is ENOUGH!)

5. A nice, warm, button up, long-sleeved, flannel shirt with the buttons ripped off and the sleeves mysteriously gone.

4. Jenni. (She was returned with no comments.)

3. Audrey. (She was quickly returned with strict demands to keep this psycho away from him!)

2. Digital camera, computer with prepaid internet access, and a thong. All came with a note saying "'do a little dance, make a little love' to the camera and then send it to me!"

1. A light blub. (His friends on the set are still laughing at this one.)

Winter break has ended... No more presents, resolutions, parties, or days off... But don't be upset! JABB has some excellent ideas for those of you suffering from "Back-to-School Blues" or "After-Holiday Let-down". Make the most of your days at work. We present the following tips to make your time more amusing:

~When ever a professor or boss speaks to you answer only with one of Andrew's lines from TBAA. Examples:
Your professor: In what year did President Washington pass away?
You: I just want you to know there's nothing to be afraid of. On one side, there is life. And on the other...there is life, too.
Your Boss: I can't believe you forgot to fax that report! We're toast now! I'm so angry!
You: You know, grief has stages and anger is one of those stages. But you should be past that by now.

~When writing a report on President Lincoln be sure to include sections on Andrew's part in the story. Refuse to back down when your professor tells you that information is false. Yell at him/her for calling your best angel friend a liar.

~When the attendance sheet comes around write Andrew's and John's names along with your own.

~Paste pictures of John and Andrew over the pictures of famous Johns and Andrews in your history book. Whenever your teacher asks you to flip to a page with one of these pictures exclaim very loudly how attractive John Glenn, John Adams, or Andrew Jackson is.

~Leave work early with the excuse that "Andrew just finished a tough assignment and he's really bummed out. I need to be with him."

~If you meet someone new from an area in which you know Andrew has been ask the person if they know him.

~If your teacher lectures on an area of the world you know Andrew was in behave in the following fashion:
Teacher: The next poem we will be discussing comes from Yeats, a famous poet from Ireland who...
You: Andrew was there!
Teacher: Ahem, who often wrote about the natural beauty of his beloved Ireland with its...
You: Andrew was there!
Respond "Andrew was there!" with great excitement no matter how many times the country is mentioned.

~If your teacher gives you information that conflicts with anything on TBAA argue in class. Insist Mark Twain was visited by angels and that Einstein and Andrew were personal friends.

~Send flowers to your office for yourself but sign the card "With Love, Andrew the Angel of Death." Ooh and aah over the flowers and tell everyone how anxious you are to have them meet your friend Andrew. See how many co-workers you can freak out.

~When at a meeting, at class, or in the cafeteria do not let anyone sit in the chair next to you. Insist Andrew is sitting there. If they protest reply, "Duh! He's in angelic form!"

~While in your cubicle, office, the employee lounge, etc. pick up the phone and pretend to dial out. Say things like: "So how was the assignment Andrew? Oh... No! I'm sure God isn't upset with you. You couldn't have known! No I don't think you'll get sent to the Netherworld! But if you do pick me up a Coke." Say all of this loud enough to be heard.

~Start a petition to ban all Halloween decorations from the office or campus. This is especially effective now when there is no reason to be concerned with Halloween decorations.