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"Someone to Watch Over Me"

Hi everyone! Still solo here so any "I"'s in the following newsletter refer to me. But first some business. Dye Day is fast approaching and I'd like to have another chat. Not quite sure on the games yet but there will for sure be trivia and maybe poetry tag.

Anyway, I'm looking at: Fri. Jan 25th, Sat. 26th, Fri. Feb. 1st, or Sat. Feb. 2nd. Weekends work best and I think we generally had them on Saturdays but that was before TBAA moved to Saturday. I wasn't sure how people would feel having the chat on the same day as an episode. So I'd really like feedback. The chat would probably start at 7 PM Central time but we could have it start at 8. I don't want to start any later than that, though. The chat itself will probably be web-based in a room sponsored by Bravenet. That way everyone can come without downloading stuff.

If you have feedback regarding any of this please let me hear it!

Also, I recently presented our email list with a list of potential laws for Dyeland. They are now in effect so if you'd like to see them please email me and I'll send you a copy. They should be online at some point but that could be a while (or it could be later tonight, who knows!)

Lastly, The JABB TOC's URL has changed. It is now:

So if you had the old AOL URL or bookmarked or linked please change it. The link will still work but could disappear at any time.  [Update: It has disappeared!]

God bless,

How many JABB members are

needed to change a light bulb?

~None! We're so bright we don't NEED light bulbs! (Leigh)

~None! We just use Andrew's glow. (Leigh)

~None, who needs electricity when we have Andrew to glow a little? (Sara)

~None. Why? Because I'm sure in Jenni's dyeranged head -- I mean WORLD -- she has probably invented some strange being with just one letter for a name to do such tedyeous work for her. (Audrey)

~One. Chiwawa. Because the little rat probably chewed the wires anyway and that's why it's not working. Plus, he does always wear a toolbelt (check out the pic.) (Audrey)

~It takes all the Androolers' to change a light bulb just to make sure that Andrew doesn't fall on his face and ruin it. (Athena.)

That being said ... what exactly would all those Androolers (and some special non-Androolers) be doing, waiting around?

~JenniAnn would be there because she may want to write a top ten about changing the light bulb later.

~Vincent, while not an Androoler, would be there because he fears Andrew may be the one to change the light bulb and if it in any way involves a toolbelt he should probably be there to catch JenniAnn and any other swooning Androoler.

~Leigh would want to hold the stepladder for Andrew ... who would (of course) be wearing those lovely jeans and toolbelt for such a job! {;-D) "I'd say that I do admire a scenic land .. er ... personscape, however that might make me the 'butt' of several jokes!"

~Lisa would like to be there just to see Jenni & Aud actually *doing* some work for a change!

~Dr. Andrew Johnson would be there in case the person changing the light bulb actually does fall. He's also done some calculations and discovered that probably 2/3s of the people present will faint if Andrew does the job. He also wants to ensure Vincent doesn't break his arms catching them (supposing they all fall at the same time).

~Cliff, the magician, would stand there mystified, wondering why no one just asked him to use his magic to change the light bulb. Then he notices Leigh holding the ladder and all becomes clear...

~John would only take a quick break from filming TBAA to watch the scene. He'd want to get Andrew's actions committed to memory in case he ever has to change a light bulb as Andrew on the show. Plus, he enjoys watching someone else fall victim to the Androolers' drooling.

If you would like to add yourself or someone else to the joke please
email me.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions All Ready Broken by JABB Members

10. I promise not to bore family and friends by giving them a history of the Long Hair/Short Hair debate.

9. I promise that I will not go running into the Forbidden Forest all by myself... (My parents and the one acting in their behalf made me write that!!~~JenniAnn)

8. I promise not to sigh every time I see a tool belt.

7. I promise not to buy said toolbelt because frankly, I don't need a toolbelt and it's beyond obsessive to buy one just to stare at it.

6. I promise that in 2002 I will not crack jokes or make snide remarks about Les Moonves or any other high-ranking CBS people.

5. I promise I will not scare people by putting "Dyeland City" or the like as my place of residence.

4. I promise I will not go off-the-handle when I see an image of the Grim Reaper.

3. I promise that this year I will refrain from naming things John or Andrew or any variations therein.

2. I promise to not try and convert fans of other actors because I would not appreciate someone trying to convert me.

1. I promise that in 2002 I will not blush when Andrew is onscreen when others are in the room. It only sets us both up for major teasing...

Okay, whether you've seen it or not "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" has become a box office success so you can't help getting caught up in it just a little bit. Okay, maybe *you* can but some of us can't. I, Jenni, would highly recommend you see the movie. I do *not* recommend that you have the following intentions or reactions when seeing the movie:

~You plan on going because the guys all have long hair and you've still not recovered from Andrew's lost locks.

~JABB is considerably more concerned if you cry every time Legolas walks onscreen. Oh sad stuff happens and sob all you want then but if you're only crying because Legolas has long, blonde hair and it reminds you of the "glory days" get some help!

~Upon seeing the Reaperesque ring-wraiths (or the Nazgul, if you prefer) you start screaming in the theater "It's just more anti-AOD propaganda by Hollywood and I'm not gonna take it!"

~JABB is even more against picketing theaters showing LOTR in the hopes of furthering your Pro-AOD cause. Really, they're not even angels of death!!

~You've heard a certain character who shall remain nameless lest something be given away is quite attractive and has a great amount of political power and you're searching for a replacement government for Dyeland. For shame! He's not even the right type of government! Unless of course you were planning to overthrow each and every one of us. And if you were I have one thing to say to you. We built your house! Okay, more than one thing. Who has protected you from invaders from other lands? Huh?? And who has made sure I was locked up when I went insane, huh? The president, the princesses, and my trusted guardian! That's who. Don't mess with us! Not only that but what makes you think Mr. Quite Attractive will even go for the idea?? Okay, I'm okay now. I guess I haven't quite recovered from the Forbidden Forest...

~You really should not go and take notes on how to form a monster army so you can take over Dyeland or even Earth.

~Finally, don't go with the intent of making a really cool Top Ten out of the film. It won't be that funny and you'll prolly only come up with 7 things. And you only got even 7 because you were under the influence of cough syrup and went loopy.