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Listen to
the theme from "Casper"
Newsletter 7
"I hate Halloween! It gives death
such a bad reputation! How is the Angel of Death supposed to compete
with this kind of propaganda? I mean this starts when they are kids and
by the time they're adults they really do believe that death is
something scary, like it's some evil, dark, gruesome horror show! It
makes me wanna cry."
~~Andrew
Intros
Hi! I'm Kimberly. I'm 27
years old and live in Northeastern Illinois. I love drawing, painting,
needlework, reading, playing violin and piano, and TBAA of course. I
have a dog--she's a 7 year-old labrador-sheperd mix named Cocoa.
Just a reminder if you would like to receive a J.A.B.B. birthday card I
need your birth date. So far I think I've sent out about 5 and I hope
you all enjoy them! We now have a new picture we are using too! Also as
you can see this is issue #7. There have been some problems with addies
and we have been trying to keep up with the changes we see on the TBAA
list. However if you missed an issue or don't want this sent to this
addy let us know! Enough of this, on to the fun stuff! ~ Jenni
Fun ways for Androolers to
celebrate Halloween:
1. Track down all people dressed
as Grim Reapers and lecture them about Andrew, the real AOD :-) Make
sure to let them know they are giving him a bad reputation and that you
are very angry about it!
2. Dress up as Monica and force your husband/boyfriend/any guy to wear
a white suit and answer to the name Andrew. Through out the day go up
to random people and say "I'm an angel sent by God to tell you he loves
you!" Make sure to always drag "Andrew" along with you.
3. This is for our 2 guys on the list:
Dye your hair blonde and get yourself a white suit. Be Andrew for
Halloween! Just watch out for those crazed Androolers! :-)
4. Refuse to give candy to any Trick-or-Treaters who won't admit that
John Dye is the greatest actor ever!
5. Better yet don't even give out candy. Instead make your own "The
Best of John Dye" pamphlets with quotes and pictures of John and give
those out!
Note: If any of you actually do any of these we want proof! :-)
Suggested Reasons why Andrew
hates Halloween:
Okay we all know Andrew thinks
Halloween gives death a bad reputation but maybe that's not his only
reason for hating this holiday. Maybe he has other reasons........
Reason #1 You try eating that disgusting candy corn every Halloween for
hundreds of years and see what you think of Halloween then!
Reason #2 Taking a hint from Audrey, more and more people begin
referring to Andrew as the Jack 'o' Lantern of Death. (This is a nick
name Audrey gave Andrew after she decided John's new haircut made him
look like a pumpkin :-)
Maybe Andrew has some hidden past that led him to his hatred of
Halloween? Here is some speculation:
Reason #3 In a desperate attempt to "compete with this kind of
propaganda" Andrew along with Adam and Henry started a rock band in the
1970s. Their goal was to write and perform some really "happenin' "
Disco songs to protest Halloween. Unfortunately Disco just wasn't their
thing and they disbanded (poor guys!) It took several years before any
of them could look at a leisure suit again.
Reason #4 In 1995 one of Andrew's assignments consisted of chaperoning a preschool Halloween party. 20 pint-size Mighty Morphin Power Rangers running around screaming and calling on "the power of the mighty zords" (or what ever those weird animal/machine things were called) gets annoying real fast! As a result Halloween was totally ruined for Andrew.
Suggested Halloween costumes for
Andrew
(that is provided someone can
stop him from sitting around pouting all night):
Jenni: Marine! Prince Charming, one of the Beatles
Audrey: human, Jack 'o' Lantern
Kolya: Cop, Marine, Army, etc. Clown?
Melinda: A devil costume!
Shawn: happy reaper
Amanda: doctor
Jessica: pirate
Lori: green m&m, speedo model, Monica
Kristin: toga, an angel with a halo, wings, white robe
Jennie: I still wanna see him at a Renaissance Faire. Court garb.
Teri: Hmm...a little devil?
LynneSki: he should dress up like a SCAD student
Angel
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Of the misery to come with time that was to be spent forever more.
With angels glow the dark around me was little more than eerie
And there came a rapping, tap tap tapping, at my chamber door.
I flung it open and in flew a pestiferous light that would shine forever more;
Would shine forever more, up above my chamber door.
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the grim October;
The leaves flew in with a huge gust and settled upon the floor.
I felt as though I was insane and never knew how to be sober.
Still the glow came shining down from upon my chamber door.
The preternatural glow gleamed on down from upon my chamber door
gleamed down from there, forever more.
And the golden, dove-like creature sat up there and did oblige me
Told me--told me of fantastic horrors never heard before;
Still the light gleamed down upon me and I no longer could see,
But I heard the voices around me--voices to be heard forever more
And in the end he whispered profusely up above me chamber door.
This he did and nothing more.
Deeply distraught, I peered into the blinding light
Oh how wondrous it was, yet so damning on the floor.
I hoped--Oh, I hoped the creature would disappear into the night.
But alas, it took refuge upon the bust of Pallas just above my chamber door
It looked to me, though glowing greatly ever more
This it did. And nothing more.
"Lenore?" I questioned without remorse
Once again I cried aloud, "Lenore?"
Still the creature sat and stared down at my pathetic presence
I looked to it imploring loudly, "Nameless are you, but Lenore?"
He sat and linger up above my chamber door
Merely this and nothing more
"Lenore?" again I questioned, hoping maybe it was graven
And the light profusely glowing, blinded me once more
"No wrong poem you silly fruit, I'm an angel not a raven"
This he said as he gleamed up above my chamber door.
This he said without moving from upon my chamber door.
This he said and nothing more.
Startled by the dove-like creature's utterance
"Lenore is gone, you stupid beast, must you mock me more?"
To this beast I asked the question trying not to flinch.
I looked distraughtly at the creature out of a book of forgotten lore
As I awaited a forgotten answer, I stood in it's shadow on the floor
Quote the angel, "Never more."
To my knees I feel so quickly, as to appear that I was sickly
And the creature perched above my chamber door
The creature there, it did oblige me oh so quickly;
And I, upon my knees, sat in the damning shadow on the floor.
Still there he sat, forever silent up above my chamber door;
There he sat forever more.
And I said as I feel to my knees, to the angel I did ask please.
To the dove-like creature poised above my chamber door
"Help me angel. Help me please!
Help me now you stupid creature up above my chamber door!
Help me angel perched up there forever more;
Help me now or never more"
The air around me denser grew, and there smelled a waffly hue.
The seraphim above me reminded me of such horror
Without answer from the beast, it I quickly tried to shoo
But the creature poised above my door, it sat there, sat there forever more.
There it sat; up above my chamber door.
There it sat forever more.
"God above, Maker of this beastly creature!
Why hast Thou sent the prophet of evil to sit above my chamber door?
Prophet, be it, evil too! I shall fear its every feature!
Still I ask You, up above, why've You sent this beast to perch above my chamber door?
There he sits and stares and blinds me, there he sits forever more.
Merely this and nothing more. "
"Evil creature, prophet/beast?! You frighten me not in the least!
Dwell up there as you see fit, up above my chamber door.
Sit up there, you filthy beast, I shall make of you a joyous feast!"
And down flew the weightless beast from up above my chamber door.
He flew from there and took shelter on my floor.
This he did, and something more!
"Prophet/beast, evil creature?! Must you fear my every feature?
I'm an angel sent to you to let you know that God will be with you forever more!
Let him take the place of Lenore, and be your Heavenly teacher,"
Said the angel as he took form and shined still brightly more.
"Why must you mock me so, you evil creature, I shall fear you ever more!"
"Fear me not, said the angel." This is it; nothing more.
And the angel still is sitting, never lifting, still is sitting,
Having taken dove-like form, perched above my chamber door.
He's glowing still upon the bust of Pallas, never flitting.
And I am taunted every night by the creature up above my chamber door.
Beast or angel, same to me, I shall fear him ever more!
And my soul shall be lifted -- nevermore!
~Audrey (And Edgar Allen Poe! hehe)
Happy Halloween to all of our J.A.B.B. members!!!!!!!!!!!