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Newsletter 7

"I hate Halloween! It gives death such a bad reputation! How is the Angel of Death supposed to compete with this kind of propaganda? I mean this starts when they are kids and by the time they're adults they really do believe that death is something scary, like it's some evil, dark, gruesome horror show! It makes me wanna cry."



Hi! I'm Kimberly. I'm 27 years old and live in Northeastern Illinois. I love drawing, painting, needlework, reading, playing violin and piano, and TBAA of course. I have a dog--she's a 7 year-old labrador-sheperd mix named Cocoa.

Just a reminder if you would like to receive a J.A.B.B. birthday card I need your birth date. So far I think I've sent out about 5 and I hope you all enjoy them! We now have a new picture we are using too! Also as you can see this is issue #7. There have been some problems with addies and we have been trying to keep up with the changes we see on the TBAA list. However if you missed an issue or don't want this sent to this addy let us know! Enough of this, on to the fun stuff! ~ Jenni

Fun ways for Androolers to celebrate Halloween:

1. Track down all people dressed as Grim Reapers and lecture them about Andrew, the real AOD :-) Make sure to let them know they are giving him a bad reputation and that you are very angry about it!

2. Dress up as Monica and force your husband/boyfriend/any guy to wear a white suit and answer to the name Andrew. Through out the day go up to random people and say "I'm an angel sent by God to tell you he loves you!" Make sure to always drag "Andrew" along with you.

3. This is for our 2 guys on the list:

Dye your hair blonde and get yourself a white suit. Be Andrew for Halloween! Just watch out for those crazed Androolers! :-)

4. Refuse to give candy to any Trick-or-Treaters who won't admit that John Dye is the greatest actor ever!

5. Better yet don't even give out candy. Instead make your own "The Best of John Dye" pamphlets with quotes and pictures of John and give those out!

Note: If any of you actually do any of these we want proof! :-)

Suggested Reasons why Andrew hates Halloween:

Okay we all know Andrew thinks Halloween gives death a bad reputation but maybe that's not his only reason for hating this holiday. Maybe he has other reasons........

Reason #1 You try eating that disgusting candy corn every Halloween for hundreds of years and see what you think of Halloween then!

Reason #2 Taking a hint from Audrey, more and more people begin referring to Andrew as the Jack 'o' Lantern of Death. (This is a nick name Audrey gave Andrew after she decided John's new haircut made him look like a pumpkin :-)

Maybe Andrew has some hidden past that led him to his hatred of Halloween? Here is some speculation:

Reason #3 In a desperate attempt to "compete with this kind of propaganda" Andrew along with Adam and Henry started a rock band in the 1970s. Their goal was to write and perform some really "happenin' " Disco songs to protest Halloween. Unfortunately Disco just wasn't their thing and they disbanded (poor guys!) It took several years before any of them could look at a leisure suit again.

Reason #4 In 1995 one of Andrew's assignments consisted of chaperoning a preschool Halloween party. 20 pint-size Mighty Morphin Power Rangers running around screaming and calling on "the power of the mighty zords" (or what ever those weird animal/machine things were called) gets annoying real fast! As a result Halloween was totally ruined for Andrew.

Suggested Halloween costumes for Andrew

(that is provided someone can stop him from sitting around pouting all night):

Jenni: Marine! Prince Charming, one of the Beatles

Audrey: human, Jack 'o' Lantern

Kolya: Cop, Marine, Army, etc. Clown?

Melinda: A devil costume!

Shawn: happy reaper

Amanda: doctor

Jessica: pirate

Lori: green m&m, speedo model, Monica

Kristin: toga, an angel with a halo, wings, white robe

Jennie: I still wanna see him at a Renaissance Faire. Court garb.

Teri: Hmm...a little devil?

LynneSki: he should dress up like a SCAD student


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Of the misery to come with time that was to be spent forever more.

With angels glow the dark around me was little more than eerie

And there came a rapping, tap tap tapping, at my chamber door.

I flung it open and in flew a pestiferous light that would shine forever more;

Would shine forever more, up above my chamber door.

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the grim October;

The leaves flew in with a huge gust and settled upon the floor.

I felt as though I was insane and never knew how to be sober.

Still the glow came shining down from upon my chamber door.

The preternatural glow gleamed on down from upon my chamber door

gleamed down from there, forever more.

And the golden, dove-like creature sat up there and did oblige me

Told me--told me of fantastic horrors never heard before;

Still the light gleamed down upon me and I no longer could see,

But I heard the voices around me--voices to be heard forever more

And in the end he whispered profusely up above me chamber door.

This he did and nothing more.

Deeply distraught, I peered into the blinding light

Oh how wondrous it was, yet so damning on the floor.

I hoped--Oh, I hoped the creature would disappear into the night.

But alas, it took refuge upon the bust of Pallas just above my chamber door

It looked to me, though glowing greatly ever more

This it did. And nothing more.

"Lenore?" I questioned without remorse

Once again I cried aloud, "Lenore?"

Still the creature sat and stared down at my pathetic presence

I looked to it imploring loudly, "Nameless are you, but Lenore?"

He sat and linger up above my chamber door

Merely this and nothing more

"Lenore?" again I questioned, hoping maybe it was graven

And the light profusely glowing, blinded me once more

"No wrong poem you silly fruit, I'm an angel not a raven"

This he said as he gleamed up above my chamber door.

This he said without moving from upon my chamber door.

This he said and nothing more.

Startled by the dove-like creature's utterance

"Lenore is gone, you stupid beast, must you mock me more?"

To this beast I asked the question trying not to flinch.

I looked distraughtly at the creature out of a book of forgotten lore

As I awaited a forgotten answer, I stood in it's shadow on the floor

Quote the angel, "Never more."

To my knees I feel so quickly, as to appear that I was sickly

And the creature perched above my chamber door

The creature there, it did oblige me oh so quickly;

And I, upon my knees, sat in the damning shadow on the floor.

Still there he sat, forever silent up above my chamber door;

There he sat forever more.

And I said as I feel to my knees, to the angel I did ask please.

To the dove-like creature poised above my chamber door

"Help me angel. Help me please!

Help me now you stupid creature up above my chamber door!

Help me angel perched up there forever more;

Help me now or never more"

The air around me denser grew, and there smelled a waffly hue.

The seraphim above me reminded me of such horror

Without answer from the beast, it I quickly tried to shoo

But the creature poised above my door, it sat there, sat there forever more.

There it sat; up above my chamber door.

There it sat forever more.

"God above, Maker of this beastly creature!

Why hast Thou sent the prophet of evil to sit above my chamber door?

Prophet, be it, evil too! I shall fear its every feature!

Still I ask You, up above, why've You sent this beast to perch above my chamber door?

There he sits and stares and blinds me, there he sits forever more.

Merely this and nothing more. "

"Evil creature, prophet/beast?! You frighten me not in the least!

Dwell up there as you see fit, up above my chamber door.

Sit up there, you filthy beast, I shall make of you a joyous feast!"

And down flew the weightless beast from up above my chamber door.

He flew from there and took shelter on my floor.

This he did, and something more!

"Prophet/beast, evil creature?! Must you fear my every feature?

I'm an angel sent to you to let you know that God will be with you forever more!

Let him take the place of Lenore, and be your Heavenly teacher,"

Said the angel as he took form and shined still brightly more.

"Why must you mock me so, you evil creature, I shall fear you ever more!"

"Fear me not, said the angel." This is it; nothing more.

And the angel still is sitting, never lifting, still is sitting,

Having taken dove-like form, perched above my chamber door.

He's glowing still upon the bust of Pallas, never flitting.

And I am taunted every night by the creature up above my chamber door.

Beast or angel, same to me, I shall fear him ever more!

And my soul shall be lifted -- nevermore!

~Audrey (And Edgar Allen Poe! hehe)

Happy Halloween to all of our J.A.B.B. members!!!!!!!!!!!

Newsletter 8