So I've gone through several different iterations of the following over the last few months and none of them seemed quite right.  So I'm just going to write from my heart and hope it comes across okay.

Yes, I am aware of the allegations against Neil Gaiman.  Yes, I believe the victims.  No, I don't intend to excise Crowley and Aziraphale from the stories.  And here's why...

They don't belong to him.

Yes, he is one of the co-authors.  Yes, he was the main writer (though not the sole writer) for the TV show which is where I'm drawing the characterizations from since, to be honest, I never read the book (or any Gaiman book). 

But that still doesn't mean that he owns Crowley and Aziraphale.  For one, the book was co-written by Sir Terry Pratchett.  For another, it was then the performances of David Tennant and Michael Sheen who brought them to life and made me want to include them in my stories.  Further... Crowley and Aziraphale are based off of two characters in the Bible so...  I'm not saying God wrote Good Omens.  But I am saying that whatever the religious beliefs of anyone I've thus far mentioned are... I believe Good Omens could not exist without the real Serpent and the real Angel of the Eastern Gate and so, in some respects, this is no different than if I found out something awful about Fr. Girzone who wrote the Joshua books or, God forbid, C.S. Lewis.  We're all just playing in the same sandbox with different iterations of the same characters.

I also... and this is getting a little personal... have really strong memories and, sure, maybe even lingering resentment surrounding punishing a wide group of people over the wrong actions of one person or subgroup.  When I was in grade school, I was outright told I was in a "bad class."  And a lot of the other kids did get unruly and wouldn't listen.  But there was always a handful of us who did.  But when a teacher or staff member declared that the entire class had to change their color (we had a system wherein you started with green then if you committed an infraction it moved to yellow and if you messed up a second time it went to red and you had detention), I would get really upset.  It seemed bad enough that I had to put up with all the noise and chaos but then to be punished for it, too?  I know teachers have a hard job, maybe even the hardest, but that still stings.  Because it made me feel so powerless and like being good didn't matter.  If you just brush up against badness then you're bad, too.  Obviously, I've grown up and reject all that.  But to pretend it didn't cause some psychological issues... well, that would be a big lie.  So I suppose that's another reason why I won't cast out Crowley and Aziraphale.  It would feel like changing the color of Mr. Tennant's, Mr. Sheen's, and Sir Pratchett's cards when I have no reason to believe they had any idea about Gaiman's actions.  I know people like to say "Well, surely they HAD to know..." but I've had enough awful surprises pop up in my own social circles to know that idea is irresponsible and dangerous.  People most assuredly do NOT always know what family members, friends, and colleagues get up to when they're away from them.

There's not been one time I've been writing for Crowley or Aziraphale and thought "Would Gaiman do this?"  Because I know he wouldn't and I don't care.  I know he's not trying to write a family drama through a queer Christian lens.  It's the same way as I know Andrew Lloyd-Weber would hate the Friends' version of JCS because it's too devout.  Don't care.  Fanworks can and do sometimes reject the sentiments/actions of the original creators.  And I think that's fine.  While I can feel grateful to everyone who inspired a piece of the Dyeland/Asteriana lore, I don't feel beholden to them.  It's not like I'm making any money, after all.

What I will say is that it's exhausting and demoralizing having to repeatedly reckon with the bad actions of some men and to think about what their victims experienced.  I know that my angst about having to write this is nothing compared to what survivors and their loved ones face.  But I'm sick of being a woman who has to constantly reckon with how unsafe we are while just trying to enjoy a TV show or book or whatever.  So I will continue to write Aziraphale and Crowley as being affirming and empathetic and, sure, feminist.  It's my personal form of protest, of showing power.  I already have scenes plotted out that involve them and to remove those would, to me, be letting him force my hand.  And I won't have that.

At a later date, I might address some of this in a fictional form.  I've been wanting to write about JenniAnn dealing with the fall of a literary hero ever since She Who Must Not Be Named decided to worship chromosomes.  So this is kinda the last push I needed for that.  However, "The Prodigal" feels more important so it likely won't happen until after that.  And that won't happen til well after the Valentine's Vignettes... only one of which I have plotted.  But that one involves a lady of some strength and power who tried to stand up to a powerful man and thought she failed.  But she didn't and that's why we still remember her to this day.

If you have been a fan of Neil Gaiman and are looking for someone else to turn to, I highly recommend Tanith Lee.  Her writing is just absolutely luscious.  Some of my best memories are the first few years I spent in my house when I, somehow, had more time for reading.  I devoured The Silver Metal Lover and Biting the Sun and Red as Blood.  The latter even features a cameo from someone very familiar...

Anyway, I've said my peace now.  My thoughts are with those directly impacted.  I hope they have all the support and love they need.

This newsletter is dedicated to John Dye for being an upstanding guy.  I'm so glad and relieved I never had to make a statement about him. 

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(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page, other than my own, are from Touched by an Angel and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)