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"The Animal Song"
by Savage Garden
Audrey: You are such a child! I don't know why I ever put up with you for this long! This stupid imaginary world of yours is so immature.
JenniAnn:
What?!
You used to love this world so much. You're just jealous because I have
a man now and you don't!
Audrey: Am not!
JenniAnn: Are too!
Audrey: Am not times infinity!
JenniAnn: And
you
say I'm childish. ::rolls eyes::
Narrator:
John/Andrew stands between the two in a land he's not all that
accustomed to. He's in the between world. It's the border of Dyeland
and Reality. The screams of these two adolescents..
JenniAnn:
"ADOLESCENTS"?!?! Who are you calling an adolescent?! She is, but not
me! I am a young woman.
Narrator:
Let's not start this again! Anyhow, back to the story. John was being
pounded by their yells. He raised his voice to counter their noise.
J/A: Ladies!
LADIES! Please! ...... SHUT UP!!!
N: The two girl freeze in place. They'd never heard either John or Andrew tell anyone to shut up before. They where shocked. Then again, they weren't used to John and Andrew being two people as one.... This "between world" was startling to see. J/A could see that Audrey and JenniAnn were about to start screaming again so he began to speak.
A/J: Well, now
why don't you both just settle down and tell your stories, *calmly*.
JenniAnn, you start.
JenniAnn:
Okay,
well, It was a beautiful, sunny day in Dyeland. The last of a light
snow had melted away and you could see flowers all over (because in
Dyeland they grow ultra fast, you know.)
Aud: Can we
please cut the poetry and get on to the ugly facts?
N: JenniAnn
glared at Audrey.
JenniAnn:
Fine!
Well, I was cleaning one of the windows and I looked out and a man on
horseback was approaching. Andrew was there so he answered the door.
The man, Prince Arthur, asked for a tour so I happily granted it. But
first I served lunch and had Andrew stick around just to sorta, well,
just cause -- it seemed like a safe, *mature* idea. So after that I
showed him the Whispering Woods, the cafe, the orchard, and eventually
Laughingly and then I returned home and told Audrey about my day. I'll
admit, maybe I was getting a bit sappy about Arthur at that point but I
did not expect the reaction I got!
A: My reaction
was perfectly natural! You're living in a fantasy world and a man on a
white horse, so to say, comes to sweep you off your feet. Why should I
be happy for you? You do understand that NONE OF THIS IS REAL!?!?
J: Hey now!
Dyeland is too real! Tell her Andrew/John.
A/J: I'm not
touching this one. You two just keep telling me what happened.
N: Both girls
gave J/A a slightly tiffed look. What was he doing, not taking sides?
Each girl expected him to side with her, but alas, he wasn't helping
them at all.
A: Anyhow, I
decided at that point that this "Dyeland" crap was getting
to be too much. It was one thing for her to have a dream world; even
for me to be sucked into it. But it was another for her to start having
imaginary romances. So I decided I didn't want to be a part of it.
J: GRRRRRR!
N: The girls
were becoming animalistic in their responses to one another. It was
time J/A stepped in.
J: Hey Mr. Narrator person, I resent that!
N: No, dear,
you resemble that.
A: Good one!
N: JenniAnn
glared at Audrey, then let the comments pass as A/J began to speak.
A/J: Ladies!
Ladies! Lets keep this civil. I don't know how much more of this I can
take. Now, please, let's start again *calmly*. Okay, so JenniAnn has
developed an interest in a man who may or may not be real. We've got
that. Now really, what's the worst that could happen, Aud? So she hangs
out with this guy for a while and then wakes up or he is real and they
just have a normal relationship.
J: Oh and he
is real! I swear!
A: I swear!! (mockingly)
A/J: Hey, what
did I say!?
A: Sorry. I
guess maybe you're right. I mean it's completely normal to
date. She is 18 after all.
J: Hello! I'm
still in the room!
A: Sorry.
A/J: Right, completely normal. Let's all remember that.
N: Andrew/John then turned towards Audrey and whispered softly.
A/J: It's not as if she's getting married or anything. For all we know it could be over in a week!
N: Despite his
soft voice, JenniAnn had heard him and started acting very
uncomfortably.
Suddenly, she coughed and her right hand moved a way from her left hand
which it had been covering. Both Audrey and A/J exclaimed when she
revealed..... a ring.
N: OH MY GOODNESS! How'd you ever get anyone to propose to you?! Even
in your dreams?! I never thought it possible!
J: Hey! Stupid
narrator. Nobody wants you here. Why don't you leave already?!
N: I don't
have to take this. I'm going ho-em.
J: "Ho-em"?
Don't you mean "Home"?
N: Doesn't
matter. Bye. ::Leaves::
J/A: See what
you two did?!
J: I never
liked him anyway.
A: Me either.
Anyhow, back to the story. What's with this gum ball
machine ring you have? Couldn't you afford a real one?! HAHA You know,
kinda like this?
::Audrey pulls her ring out of her pocket proudly displaying it. She was afraid before of how they would react, but now? It doesn't matter.::
J: You're not marrying that THING are you?
A: "THING"?!
He is a GREAT man! That's all that matters. And he and I are going to
live happily ever after in REALITY!
J: That's what
you think. You know, Arthur Paul Roderigo Ignatius Locksley and I will
be better off than you and your Frederick Oliver Oscar Lloyd Samuels
any day!
A: That's it! I NEVER want to see you again!
J: I don't want to see you either! GOOD-BYE!
::The two
girls storm from the 'between world' into their own, never to see each
other again.::
A/J: What the
heck just happened? And what kinda names are those anyway? OH well.
THE END!
And so ends nearly 3 years of JABB.
