Here to Listen to
"Everything I Do"
by Bryan Adams
Hello JABBers, we have some very serious issues to discuss with you. First, we'd like you to know JenniAnn was recently stricken with andrew dyetess as well as another disease you will find out more about later. As of this morning she's returned home to the castle but is still battling some of the lingering symptoms. Second, it's come to our attention that many of our members have been forced to hear horrid remarks being made about John and Andrew. We here at JABB offer you our help, the beginnings of which you will find in this newsletter. Thank you and stay well!
If you answered yes
to any of these questions, you are suffering from
Dyepression, a mental condition to which any Androoler may be prone to.
Hi, My name is Melody. I live in Nova Scotia.(Canada) I'm 13 and in gr.8 at West Kings DHS. I live with my dad, my dog "Rascal", and my cat "Ashlee". I _love_ TBAA!! (Especially the certain actor who plays the "AOD"!!) :)~~ I am a proud member of JABB. Someday I'd like to be an actress or a teacher.
If there are any other Androolers that live in Nova Scotia or even in
Canada, you can e-mail me at tbaaF@excite.com
Thanx, and may all your dreams come true,
The following article was written by one of our alert members, Jaz, who was the first to diagnose JenniAnn. We'd like you to read this carefully and call St. Andrew's Hospital if you recognize the symptoms in either yourself or friends.
Can't sleep because every time you try, A/J comes running after you in your dreams screaming, "You have failed me!"? Do you notice a distinct drop in your grades when you hand in a math test and your teacher wonders why you wrote "I'm sorry, A/J!" in every answer space? Do you no longer drool but sob uncontrollably as you watch TBAA, moaning, "I tried, John, I tried," over and over again? Have you the tendency to latch yourself around the leg of every blond-haired green-eyed hunk in the street, begging for forgiveness? Are you buried so deep in devastation over the mistreatment of A/J that you are losing touch with your friends and family and can no longer communicate with the human race except to grieve over A/J abuse?
"It can," Andrew
Johnson says, "and very simply so. Dyepression doesn't
have to come upon you, it's whether you let it. Remember, you're an
Androoler. Nobody can take that away from you. As long as you stand up,
over A/J's dishonor, I assure that you will be fine."
In order to aid in the fight against Dyepression JABB presents....
Ways to Defend Andrew/John
10. Hold candlelight vigils outside the perpatrator's door singing "My Guy"
9. use subliminAl messagiNg to help the Defendant REcover from the Weight of her burden.
8. Erect a Bananna Split Cake shrine in their room
7. Have fellow J/A supporters call their house every hour on the hour (at night too) and say an Andrew quote only and hang up.
6. Subject them to a 24 J/A marathon.
5. Force them to listen to your musical tribute to Andrew.
4. Dress them up
as Andrew and dye for them.
3. Recite every JABB newsletter to them. Repeatedly if you must.
2. Tell them that
until they apologize all funds that would have gone
towards their birthday present will be moved to the Dyeland National
A/J Defense Fund.