― Joe Hill, Heart-Shaped Box
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“All the world is made of music. We are
all strings on a lyre. We resonate. We sing together.” ― Joe Hill, Heart-Shaped Box |
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In a small village in Wales, a house stood in the center of a field.
The house had been there for centuries.
Or not.
It really depended on how one “solved” the old Ship of Theseus paradox.
Likely not a single stone of the original house remained. And there was running water now. Electricity. Even wifi.
Through all the changes, there had been one constant and she was sitting at her desk with her usual cup of tea, poring over the file before her. She couldn’t get past the feeling that something was missing…
If only she could hire an admin to help her keep her files in order. But even the most trustworthy, respectful employee wouldn’t be able to help seeing some of the contents. And how to explain that her clients sometimes had birth years that were simply noted as “pre-calendar”?
Deciding she needed a mental break, the house’s owner rose and peered out her window, admiring the grounds.
There were so many secrets wrapped up in this house… starting with the fact that she had owned it since the 1500s.
Even if it had taken an annoyingly large number of years for the deed to be in her name.
The inhabitant smiled as she thought back on the day the house had been purchased.
“I can manage! I… I could find another tutoring job. I was good at that. Before.”
“And the little one?”
“She could be with me. She doesn’t fuss. Not much.”
“Jamesina… They’ll assume she’s yours by blood. And you’re not married. As unfair and unjust as it is, they wouldn’t hire you.”
“But…”
“Let me do this. Please.”
And she had let him, of course. As angry as she had been, she couldn’t deny him. But that didn’t mean she had been gentle about it.
“Fine. But you look ridiculous with that ruffle around your neck.”
“Well, it’s not as if I could show up in one of my robes, could I? Or jeans! The horror! And the ruffles will get worse, my dear. So, so much worse.”
“Jeans?”
“You’ll find out. You’ll like them.”
Jamesina… Jamie… looked down at her jeans and smiled. He was right.
He always was, of course.
The sound of papers flipping caused Jamie to spin away from the window.
And there he was, sitting in one of her chairs as if he’d come to her for counsel. But he, perhaps only him on all the Earth, didn’t need counseling.
“Joshua!” Jamie exclaimed.
Joshua looked up from the file in his lap and smiled. Then he moved to his feet and held his arms aloft.
Grinning, Jamie rushed into his embrace.
“Good morning, my dear. How are you this fine morning?”
Jamie laughed.
“Bit of a braggart, aren’t ya?”
“Well…” Joshua gestured towards the window. “The way the sun is hitting the flowers… the cool breeze. Just a hint of the scent of last night’s rain. I think I was being quite modest with ‘fine.’”
Still laughing, Jamie nodded.
“It’s delightful. In fact, I was hoping I could go out and enjoy it but I was reviewing Brigette’s file and…” The angel frowned.
“You misfiled her collage.”
“Yes!” Jamie clapped her hands. “That’s what’s missing! I wonder where I…”
“Think of who else you saw yesterday,” Joshua advised.
Jamie went to her files and, sure enough, found the collage in Dylan’s folder… she had seen Dylan right after Brigette.
“I suppose I could go electronic but…” Jamie’s lower lip stuck out as she contemplated it.
“Just not the same. I know.”
“Yes. Here, let me get you some tea. Earl Grey?”
“Please.”
Jamie soon had Joshua’s cup prepared just to his liking. She looked on proudly as he sipped and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you, Jamie. You know, I have someone in mind to help you. At least for the summer and autumn.”
Jamie reclaimed her chair and looked at her boss with great interest.
“Another angel?”
Joshua shook his head.
“A college student.”
“And you don’t think a college student would question what goes on here?”
“Not this one.”
Joshua reached into the bag that had just appeared beside him and pulled out a folder. He handed it to Jamie.
With interest, the counselor perused the contents.
“Who is this girl that she has God Himself trying to get her a summer internship?”
“Her name is Siobhan Doyle. She goes by Vonnie. She’s studying Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Jesus College.”
Jamie grinned.
“And there it is. She’s under your patronage.”
Joshua returned the grin.
“Everyone is under my patronage. Yourself included.”
Jamie reached over and squeezed his hand.
“True. And she may be very qualified but the whole millennia old beings showing up here thing…”
“Vonnie has some experience with angels. She won’t be surprised… well, surprised that a few dozen of them show up in a small Welsh town for counseling. But not surprised by their existence. She’s sort of related to one.”
Jamie looked away from Vonnie’s CV and to Joshua with keen interest.
“She had a child just before she started college. And that child, Avi, was later adopted by Andrew, one of my angels of death, and his anam cara, JenniAnn.”
“Another pair of anam caras?”
Beaming, Joshua nodded.
“And Vonnie knows that Andrew is…”
“She didn’t. Not at first. But then when her grandma died from COVID… Well, it was so difficult for the entire family. And because Vonnie was studying psychology… the family kind of turned her into their de facto counselor.”
“Cripes...”
Joshua shook his head, remembering the poor girl’s anguish.
“So I sent Andrew to talk to her, tell her about his work,” he continued. “They’ve been in pretty regular contact since.”
“I’m glad for them both. Tell me more about this Andrew fellow,” Jamie prompted. “And his lady. Human, I assume?”
Joshua smiled and nodded. Jamie had a weakness for stories about angel/human pairings.
“Well… I suppose the beginning is as good a place as any to start. Andrew and JenniAnn met in 2000 in Asteriana, one of my other worlds,” he explained. “For JenniAnn, the attraction was instant. And there was good reason for that…”
About halfway through Joshua’s winding tale of the romance of Andrew, angel of death, and JenniAnn, former princess of Dyeland, the two moved outside. As the sun began to set, Joshua moved to the main reason for his appearance.
“And now we come to another reason why I’d like Vonnie to intern with you… You’ll both be needed.” Joshua frowned. “Our enemy hasn’t forgotten what Andrew did in Sheol. And there’s also the matter of Crowley…”
Jamie nearly dropped the pizza that Joshua had conjured.
“Crowley?! The Serpent?! What happened with him?”
Joshua smiled.
“He’s come back. And he and Aziraphale are living together happily, knowing they have our blessing. They’ve befriended Andrew and JenniAnn and their friends. In fact, Andrew and JenniAnn helped open the door for me to reach Crowley so… Another reason Lucifer isn’t very fond of Andrew.”
“I don’t like the sound of that…” Jamie bit her lip. “So how do Vonnie and I fit in?”
“For now, just focus on your practice. Train Vonnie as best you can. I’ll be in touch when it’s time to head to Dyeland. Early October.”
“All right…”
Joshua squeezed Jamie’s hand.
“You’ll do well, Jamesina. You always have,” he encouraged.
“Not sure about that…” Jamie murmured.
“I am.”
Joshua leaned forward and kissed Jamie’s hair as a single tear trailed down her cheek.
*~*~*
Andrew smiled at the binder spread out before him… and then at the woman beside him who had compiled it.
“I love it, Laja. I really do.”
“Do you think the hearts will be okay as favors? Like do you think you could carve enough?”
Andrew nodded.
“I do. And I think a painting station for them will be fun. Especially for the little ones.” He paused to stroke Avi’s hair as he slept in JenniAnn’s arms.
“And you still think it’ll be okay? I mean with the variants and the kids not yet vaccinated and…”
Andrew squeezed JenniAnn’s hand.
“All the adults and older kids are vaccinated. Everyone who can will be quarantining for two weeks before. Everyone has promised to take their temperatures in the lead up. Reuel says he has enough rapid tests for everyone coming in. And… we’ve spoken to everyone, Laja. I think everyone needs this. We need to be together. To celebrate. To focus on life… not sickness and death. And if we have to move anything indoors, everyone is willing to wear masks.”
“True…” JenniAnn sighed. “And... It has felt like people are starting to… well, lose their minds a bit. It helped when we went back to in-person Bible study… albeit without the kids. But since that also meant a lot of people had to stay virtual to watch their kids… not the same.”
“No. It’s not been.”
JenniAnn stroked Avi’s hair.
“I’m just… I’m worried for him, especially. All of the kids, of course. But if Avi gets sick… we can’t just take him to the hospital.”
“We can,” Andrew corrected. “El-Chanan has perfectly suitable hospitals, Laja. You know that Reuel would let us take him there in a heartbeat.”
JenniAnn nodded.
“I sometimes forget about that. Still so crazy to think about sometimes. I mean Dyeland’s still so dependent on Earth but El-Chanan… they’re so advanced.”
“Exactly. And… I’m also worried about Avi. But more for the sake of his socialization. And Belle’s, too. They miss their friends.”
“Yeah… Small playdates in the Fields of Gold just aren’t the same as having a slew of kids running around the castle together.”
“No, they’re not. So they can at least have this one day together, with all the safety precautions, and, hopefully, it’ll tide them over until the vaccines are approved for them.”
“I just hope the night doesn’t end with a slew of meltdowns.” JenniAnn shuddered. “Last week when Kylie and Clay brought their kids to the Fields… Yikes. Six-way meltdown.”
“Well… Maybe by some chance we’ll have an ETA on the kids’ vaccines by late October. They’ll handle it better if we can say ‘Don’t worry! You can all see each other again in only two weeks!’ Plus, if we do some trick-or-treating for them at the reception, maybe they’ll be too excited to get home and dig into their candy to get upset.”
JenniAnn beamed.
“I love that idea! Except let’s go with trick-or-treating for everyone. We can have big bowls of different kinds of candy at every table. The kids can go around… the adults can enjoy as they chat and catch up.”
Andrew nodded.
“Sounds like a plan to me! Although…”
“Although?” JenniAnn prompted.
“I do have to wonder if you were so married to October 30th as the big day because you knew that I wasn’t going to be able to be gloomy about Halloween that way.”
JenniAnn blushed.
“Maybe…”
Andrew chuckled.
“Well, I’m sure it’ll work. I can’t imagine waking up beside you the morning after having our relationship blessed in front of all our loved ones and not thinking ‘This is one of the best days of my life.’”
“Aww… Love…” JenniAnn kissed Andrew’s cheek. “It will be. One of the best days…” she echoed.
Andrew smiled at her then resumed flipping through her planning binder.
“I think we should send the invitations tomorrow, Laja. Make it official.”
JenniAnn drew in and let out a deep breath.
“You’re sure?”
Andrew squeezed her hand.
“I am.”
JenniAnn squeezed his hand back.
“Then I am, too.”
Mindful of Avi, the two kissed then headed to his nursery together.
*~*~*
Andrew awoke to JenniAnn’s blood curdling scream… and JenniAnn silently sleeping beside him.
In spite of the immediate proof that what he had heard must have been carried over from a nightmare, Andrew still shook.
There had been such terror in her cry… It broke his heart.
Careful not to wake her, Andrew snuggled closer to JenniAnn. He tried to let the sound of her soft, relaxed breathing drive away the scream that was still echoing through his mind.
But maybe it was a warning…
Andrew scrambled out of bed and hurried to Avi’s nursery.
To his relief, the little boy was sleeping peacefully. On a nearby couch, Ichabod lazily opened one eye then closed it. Andrew patted the dog’s head before making his way to Belle’s room. Fawn, now deaf, didn’t stir but remained curled at Belle’s feet, snoring quietly. Belle was sprawled across her bed, clutching a doll. Like her brother, she seemed to be enjoying a deep, restful sleep.
Andrew wanted to check on Shelby and Violeta but they were staying at Serendipity. It didn’t seem appropriate to go over there and wake the whole household just to calm himself after a nightmare. And it seemed even less appropriate to sneak over there via the basement.
Max was no doubt enjoying some well-deserved rest on Selini with Rose and the kids. Contacting them was out of the question.
It was just a nightmare.
Or was it a ploy to get him away from his Laja?
His heart racing again, Andrew bolted back to their bedroom.
JenniAnn was just as he’d left her.
Relieved, Andrew climbed back into bed.
JenniAnn stirred.
“Mmm… Love?”
“Sorry. Just…”
JenniAnn’s eyes shot open and she sat up.
“What’s wrong?” she questioned. “You sound… shaky.”
Andrew shook his head.
“Sorry. It’s nothing, Laja. Really. Just… a nightmare or something. I’m fine. The kids are fine.”
JenniAnn began to softly stroke Andrew’s chest, frowning when she felt his heart racing.
“I’m sorry, my love.”
Andrew let out a shaky breath and smiled.
“I’m fine. Feeling better now.”
“Good. What time is it?”
Andrew squinted to make out the numbers on his pocket watch.
“4:54.”
“You gonna go back to sleep?”
“I don’t really want to.”
“Me neither. But I don’t want to get up yet, either.”
The lingering chill Andrew felt began to dissipate as JenniAnn toyed with the top button on his pajama top. He smiled.
“I don’t want to get up either,” he agreed.
“Good.”
JenniAnn kissed Andrew’s lips.
Andrew eagerly returned the kiss and let the sound of JenniAnn’s murmurings drive away the memory of his nightmare.
*~*~*
Later that morning, Andrew and JenniAnn prepared cinnamon rolls and fresh fruit skewers for their family.
Though their earlier tryst had improved Andrew’s mood, the sense of foreboding lingered.
JenniAnn noticed and, as Andrew frosted the cinnamon rolls, she moved behind him and looped her arms around his waist.
“You still don’t seem like yourself. Do you think you need to talk about it? The nightmare, I mean?”
Andrew turned around and wrapped his own arms around JenniAnn.
“There’s not really anything to talk about. I don’t remember anything. I just… I heard you scream. This terrible, horrified scream. I actually thought it was real. But then you were fine. The kids were fine.”
JenniAnn frowned.
“You had a nightmare a few months before I was shot, too. There was crying then. Whose crying?”
“Mine,” Andrew murmured, recalling the nightmare and the rough days that had followed the actual attack.
“But this time you knew it was my scream?”
“Yes.”
It was JenniAnn’s turn to shudder.
“I… I would scream if something happened to you.”
“Laja…” Andrew pulled her closer and kissed her hair. “I’m fine. Don’t worry. It was just a dream, I’m sure. I just… ya know… sometimes I get a little anxious about you and my dreams probably reflect that.”
“Yeah…”
Andrew gently lifted JenniAnn’s chin and peered into her eyes.
“And even if something did happen… I would come back to you. Always.”
JenniAnn managed a smile and nodded.
“You’re stuck with me. Literally forever. And for some insane reason, you want to make a public declaration to that effect next month,” Andrew teased, trying to lighten the mood. He hadn’t meant to worry JenniAnn. It had never occurred to him that his dream might have been about harm coming to him.
JenniAnn laughed.
“Ah, yes, the insanity of wanting to make a public commitment to one of the most decent, honorable, and loving men I’ve ever met. Who’da thunk it?”
“Not me… Not for a long time,” Andrew admitted. “Doesn’t mean I’m not very, very glad of it.”
JenniAnn stretched up and pulled Andrew towards her, kissing him… and then again.
“Blech! Can’t a former demon get some coffee without having to witness such unseemly behavior?”
Andrew and JenniAnn stepped apart and laughed when they spotted Crowley staring at them with mock indignation.
“And to think I only came here because this one wanted a hand.” Crowley waved towards Andrew.
“I did!” Andrew exclaimed. “I almost forgot.” He turned to JenniAnn. “My first assignment involves building a memorial garden and I asked Crowley to help.”
“Aww. That sounds lovely!”
Crowley sighed.
“Gave me an eyeful and forgot about me!”
“Oh hush,” JenniAnn chastised. “I think a little breakfast will more than make up for your woes.”
“Already had breakfast.” Crowley peeked around JenniAnn and spotted the rolls, his eyes lighting up. “But I think I would enjoy second breakfast…”
JenniAnn motioned for Crowley to sit down then fixed up a plate for him.
Crowley flashed her a smile.
“What can I get you to drink? Milk? Orange juice? Oh right, you said coffee.”
“Actually… juice, please. Thanks, Mum,” he jested.
Andrew rolled his eyes but laughed as JenniAnn tousled the seraph’s hair. Then a thought came to him… Joking aside, Crowley was clearly very fond of JenniAnn.
And that could be very useful...
*~*~*
After three hours spent hauling stone and dirt, the memorial garden was beginning to take shape.
Andrew placed a final piece of stone border around a statue of an angel holding a baby. He wiped some sweat from his forehead and turned to Crowley who was planting a rose bush.
“Lunch time?” he suggested.
Crowley nodded.
“Sounds good.”
After using a nearby hose to wash their hands, Andrew and Crowley settled into the back of the van with their packed lunches.
The angel of death smiled when he saw Crowley’s elaborate lunch, no doubt chosen by Aziraphale. As tasty as the items looked, he was quite fond of the PB&J sandwiches that Belle had messily prepared for him.
Andrew allowed the former-demon a few moments of peace before he broached the topic that had been nagging at him since his conversation with JenniAnn.
“Can I ask you something?”
Crowley nodded as he nibbled on his croissant.
“Are demons still scared of me?”
“Very.”
“I just don’t understand it…”
Crowley gazed off into the distance.
“I mean you did set off a chain of events that ended with the most famous sinner in Hell moving onto Heaven. Then you got Eben. Then, well, I think I’m a bit of a catch, right?”
Andrew chuckled.
“Got me talking to Joshua again.”
“Sure. But I was told that long before any of that.”
Crowley nodded.
“I think you remind him of everything he did wrong. All the poor choices he made. He rebelled because he felt replaced by the humans. You, well, you share a life with one.”
“I’m not the first angel to have a human anam cara, Crowley. Not even close.”
“No. And I have wondered why he seemed more bothered by you than ol’ Reuel. Though he gets anxious about Reuel… Like Reuel, you’ve gone and built a whole community around you and JenniAnn… a community that Joshua then transplanted himself into. But you’re like… a whirlpool. You just… you suck all these people… angels, humans, even some vampires… formerly… into your community. And it gets bigger and stronger. Yehuda is freed, Eben is freed, vampirism is cured. And the serpent knelt before the Son of God.” Crowley smiled at the memory. “All of it traces back to you. And he sees that. And if your boss is scared of someone… you’ll be scared of them, too. So, yeah, demons are scared of you.”
“You were scared of me,” Andrew recalled.
“Yeah. And then I realized JenniAnn was the real brains of the operation. Then I was just scared of her,” Crowley teased.
Andrew laughed, nearly choking on his sandwich before Crowley clapped him on the back.
“Thanks.”
“‘s nothing.”
“You and Aziraphale scare them, too, right?”
“Uh huh. More cause they’re not sure what to make of us. Not as deep as with you. Still… probably wouldn’t ever come near us when we’re together. Though I’m sure you wouldn’t like to be joined at the hip. I doubt our significant others would like that much, either.”
“No… Space is good, even among friends.” Andrew patted Crowley on the back then bowed his head. “It does make me think, though…”
“Yeah?”
“Well, if they’re scared of both of us… you’re right. They wouldn’t come at us together. So if… I mean if they ever caused trouble with me again… It’s unlikely that would happen when you were near. You’d be in the clear… safe. So you could maybe… help JenniAnn if… if I couldn’t.”
Crowley glared at Andrew.
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Crowley, it’s not impossible.”
“Don’t like it.”
Crowley stuffed a cookie in his mouth.
“I don’t either. But it would help me to know that someone could step in and help. I handle the finances. I know JenniAnn could. But she’d already have a lot on her plate. I don’t want to put more on her. And, of course, I’d be happy to reciprocate if, God forbid, Aziraphale ever needed help and you… were unavailable,” Andrew murmured.
Crowley rubbed at his temples. It wasn’t as if he’d never considered the possibility of something happening to Andrew… or himself. And it would be nice to know Aziraphale would still have help with the little things he never did very well with.
“Please?” Andrew begged.
Crowley looked into the angel’s eyes and immediately looked away. There was such intensity there.
“Why are you bringing this up now?”
“It’s probably silly but I had a nightmare last night. I don’t actually remember much. Just… JenniAnn’s scream. This gut-wrenching, heart-breaking scream… Before she was shot, I had a dream in which I heard myself weeping uncontrollably. So… well, when I told JenniAnn, she worried that maybe since it was her in anguish this time… something happened to me. Like, I said… probably silly. But it turned out to be something last time and so… it would make me feel better to know, if there’s anything to it, there’s a plan.”
“Don’t like it,” Crowley repeated.
Andrew said nothing.
Crowley sighed.
“Yeah. I mean… of course. I hope it never comes to it but… of course I would do what I could to help JenniAnn and the kids,” he promised. “We’ll set up a time to go through everything.”
Andrew smiled, his relief evident.
“Thank you. And we can go through whatever you think Aziraphale would need, too.”
“‘Ppreciate it.”
Crowley stuck his hand out and Andrew readily shook it.
“Deal,” Crowley declared.
“Deal,” Andrew echoed.
To be continued...
This newsletter is dedicated to John Dye for inspiring the very strange search history I have because of these stories.