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"From a Distance" by Bette Midler

Hey everyone! First, I mentioned this a few weeks ago so here it is.......

Congrats to Chiwawa and Chimama on the birth of 6 beautiful puppies, 3 boys and 3 girls. Mother and puppies are doing wonderfully. The parents have some ideas for names but due to the large number of puppies and the fact that only so many consonants work well with Chi-a-a, they're open to suggestions! Email Jenni if you have ideas!

Well, we co-presidents have been sending out these newsletters for over two years now. In that time we've done an awful lot of weird stuff! Fairy tales, parodies, we even sent John to a psychiatrist! But there's also been some ideas for stories and merchandise that just never quite made it to the newsletter... The following is a list of these misguided efforts.

Top Ten JABB Ideas That Just Didn't Happen.....

10. Writing an issue in which Jenni doesn't appear to be neurotic.

9. A newsletter featuring Andrew on trial for murder. (Hey! If TBAA isn't gonna write it on earth then maybe I just will in Dyeland.... sob)

8. An unbelievably sappy alternate version of the Jabbins wedding story. Uhh.... It's just never gonna see the light of day and that's all you need to know about it!

7. A play performed by Audrey, Jenni, and Sara in the TBAA chatroom. "Three friends, one mystery man, would their friendship survive?" Ooooh, compelling stuff.

6. JABB: A Very Special Newsletter-Somebody has a baby, someone else gets engaged, and someone gets killed off but that's okay cause a month later another character will wake up and find out it was all a dream.

5. The issue in which John starts to wonder about how exactly he ended up in an alternate universe..... (I mean really, hasn't anyone else wondered about this? Here's this actor who ends up in a magical land ruled by 2 teenagers and for the most part he seems like it's as normal as a visit to the grocery store?!?)

4. JABB: The Musical. Somehow Jenni and Victor's magical rendition of "I Loved You Once in Silence" just didn't quite seem so magical without Victor..... (That's an understatement! It was horrifying!) Plus Andrew would only sing in a big group. But if you listened really hard you could almost swear you really did hear him!

3. The JABB Theater Production of "Othello." Andrew complained that the last scene would make him way too busy.

2. Writing an entire issue in iambic pentameter.

1. JABB: The Video Game- Navigate the co-presidents through Dyeland (avoiding such obstacles as stray drool buckets and entrapment in Kiwi's castle) as they search for their missing sanity.


Well, I might as well fess up. I've officially decided I'm 10 again. (Oh this is Jenni btw.) In honor of this I have made a map of Dyeland cause imaginary worlds are super cool. I have finished a rough draft of the mainland as well as some surrounding islands. So, if anyone would like to claim some land to put their estate on please email me! The map can be viewed at:

The names in red are the lands which are still available. If you don't like those options feel free to think up a name and I'll add another island. If you choose an island you can then choose if you'd like to live there alone or leave it open for others to build their homes on. However, since the mainland has limited room I can't have anyone living in those "cities" alone.

The names in black are all ready pretty full due to various structures I've "built." If you'd like to inquire about what a particular city has let me know. Later when I get responses in I'm going to make a prettier, more detailed map. Please let me know if you're interested by Dec. 15th. Thanks!

To respond to any of the above items email Jenni.