"When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,  
The bend of my hair,  
the palm of my hand,  
The need for my care.  
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me."
~~ Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman

Hi all,

Well...  Since the last newsletter, my air conditioning unit died right before the hottest couple of days of the year.  Thankfully, it's since been replaced but during that time, I got very behind on chores because it was simply too hot and sticky to do anything.  So while I play catch-up, this will be another round of previously written material.  I suppose I shouldn't feel bad.  TV shows with entire teams of people writing them do reruns during the summer!  :-)

God bless,
Jenni
 


Tropes in Dyeland Stories: The Feminist Edition Because I'm Feeling Feisty

Links to all stories cited can be found here: http://www.miscjabb.onthisside.net/storyindex.html

The Unfair Sex- ::looks guilty::  Yeah...  So...  I still regret that JenniAnn once threw a book at Andrew.  I realize now that had I written it the other way with Andrew throwing a book at JenniAnn, I would have immediately realized that was abusive and wrong.  But because she was smaller and, yes, female... I wrote it.  And I'm sorry.  Thankfully, JenniAnn has since wizened up and has even called Andrew's attention to it when he's tried to give her more leeway than he himself would take. 

Virgin in a White Dress- Ain't nobody got time for that!  True, most of the Friends brides have worn white to their weddings... but that was more out of tradition than any reflection on this trope.  After all, they did it whether they were virgins or not.  I think it's worth noting that both JenniAnn and Monica wore beige dresses to their blessings with Andrew and Arthur, respectively, despite being virgins.  Maybe they were trying to make a statement... more likely they just share my opinion that beige is more flattering than white.  Joshua himself seems to favor more subdued earth tones over white. 
Regardless, the Friends as a whole are not big on advertising virginity or the lack of it. 

Marital Rape License- Sadly, this is what happened to Badriya.  It's also why Isra was initially so frightened of Behnam.  In their village, it would have been considered perfectly moral for him to have raped her on their wedding night.  In writing the couple's story, it was particularly important to me to show how this sort of crap not only hurt Isra but also Behnam.  A true romantic and just a genuinely decent and kind man, it was very traumatic for him to have been viewed as a would-be rapist.  It goes without saying that none of the Friends believe in this.  At all. 

I'm a Man; I Can't Help It- Nope, nope, nope.  Tess actually starts to invoke this trope in "A Stor Mo Chroi" and Arthur shuts it down real fast.  She basically says that he shouldn't be with Monica because he won't be able to forgo sex and control himself.  Arthur shoots back that any man who can't control himself isn't a man.  Because Arthur is smart.

Entitled to Have You- Nobody is on board with this one!  Look no further than Yeshua's life story.  He reveals in "The King" that he was in love with a girl named Tziporrah.  But she loved another guy.  So what did he do?  Nothing.  Because Tziporrah didn't owe him anything and he knew it.  So if God Himself doesn't think he's owed a woman... nobody is.  (Obviously it all worked out fine for Yeshua, too.)

Culture Justifies Anything- For the most part, the Friends do not abide by this.  But sometimes they do...  To tell the difference, I look to what I call the "Did It Make Someone Cry? Rule."  Because, to me, the ability to recognize and respond compassionately to distress is a universal mark of moral behavior.  I doubt any of the Friends would be okay with their fourteen year old daughter marrying a nineteen year old man.  But no one's giving Yosef the evil eye for doing that.  Why?  Because Maryam really, really wanted to marry him and that was the norm for their culture.  If Maryam (or Yosef, for that matter) had been horrified by the idea and yet forced to marry... that would be perceived as bad.  A huge chunk of Yeshua's ministry involved fighting against this trope.  Things that were perfectly moral in his culture: ostracizing sick people, stoning adulterers, divorcing your wife with no cause, and viewing women's worth based on their ability to make babies (specifically sons).  Being truly moral, Yeshua healed sick people and let them touch him, intervened in the stoning of an adulteress, forbade divorce, and insisted that women should be valued as individuals... not wombs.  Because he defied cultural norms at great cost to himself, he's made it pretty much impossible for anyone to morally persist in committing bad behavior because it's what their culture expects of them.  That being said...   There is a point at which pushing "modern" ideals is itself a sin.  Isra tells a story of some well-meaning folks trying to separate her from Behnam because they assumed she was too young to consent to marriage and sex with him.  And, yes, she was under 18 when she and Behnam were married and then later consummated their relationship.  But that was her choice and one that seems to have served her quite well.  When the do-gooders pushed the issue, that made her cry and caused distress.  Her testimony should have overrode their ill-informed, generalized conclusions.  It's not as if they had any proof she'd been brainwashed or anything.  They just believed it was wrong for a teen girl to be married and didn't leave room for a specific girl's experience and preferences.

Fair for Its Day- As mentioned above, Yeshua forbade divorce.  And yet...  Joshua is very sympathetic when it comes to divorce.  To understand the apparent contradiction, you need to know what divorce entailed at the time of Yeshua.  In short, only the man could get a divorce.  Once that divorce was obtained, many if not most of the women were left destitute and viewed as ruined.  Some died.  Some were forced to become prostitutes.  It was a deeply flawed, deeply unfair system that was always going to harm women and give men a free pass to move onto the next wife.  Any truly moral person would forbid such a practice.  And so Yeshua did.  But modern divorces are different and now that prohibition can seem very old-fashioned and even harmful.  But it needs to be put into context.  The divorce process that Yeshua forbade is not the same process that exists in the modern U.S. of "The Carpenter."  Today there are more protections for women.  A woman could file for divorce without fear that she'll be ruined for life.  So while Joshua is by no means a fan of divorce, he recognizes that it's sometimes the most moral solution.  For example, he personally advocated for Kylie getting a divorce and accompanied her to her lawyer.  Why?  Because her husband was very abusive.  So in both timelines, Joshua chose the solution that would best protect vulnerable parties.

Madonna-Whore Complex- Woe be unto you if you invoke this trope around the Friends.  Even Maryam... *the* Madonna... is highly bothered by it.  Part of it is because it's gender-specific.  The sexuality of males is seldom if ever put under the microscope like that of females is.  As Violeta rather bluntly asks Maryam , "Why do people call you the Virgin Mary?  No one calls Joshua the Virgin Jesus."  It's a valid question!  The other problematic point is that it creates a false dichotomy... and one that would eventually lead to ruin if strictly adhered to.  The majority of the characters, male and female, are sexually involved with someone AND good, moral people... not perfect people.  But they try really hard.  So automatically linking sex to sin isn't going to gain much traction with these folks... Joshua included.  And also... humanity would die out.  :-(


And on that note...  I feel like doing a scene deconstruction so here we go.  This is a scene from the 2010 story "Safe"... I can't believe it's been nine years since I wrote it... and it was one of the first if not the first scene I recall writing with a feminist viewpoint in mind.

To recap, in this story Andrew (using the last name of Du Lac aka Lancelot's surname) was partnered with Officer Jonah Webb.  Jonah's hometown of West Hollow, Iowa was on high alert after a series of rapes.  Andrew and Jonah were determined to find the culprit and comfort the survivors.  Obviously, this was an emotionally taxing assignment so some of the Dyelanders traveled to West Hollow to keep Andrew company... JenniAnn included.  While there, they befriend one of the survivors, a young girl named Erica.  So here goes...
A Dyeland Story Scene Dissection: Andrew's and JenniAnn's Dance Scene in "Safe"

Andrew sunk back into the driver's seat of his van shortly after 7:00 when his shift ended.  His and Jonah's stint at the school had lurched well into the afternoon.  The blush returned to Andrew's cheeks as he recalled the disappeared business cards.  Jonah hadn't let him forget that.  Or the "Call me, Officer du Lac" delicately printed amid stars and hearts near one girl's name on the Halloween sign up sheet.  But then his partner's amusement after his harrowing night was worth a few blushes and awkward moments.

As Andrew began the ride home, his thoughts turned to the best moment of the day.  It had come when Abby and Erica approached the table.  The former had chatted easily with the two officers as she signed up for their Halloween party.  Erica had remained silent.  Yet she had signed her own name, as well, and it gave him hope.

The afternoon and early evening that followed had been comprised of a minor dispute between two neighbors, a handful of traffic violations, and then meeting up with Gus, Simon, and the three Texans who would be taking the night shift.  A calm day as far as they went and it had left Andrew with enough energy to enjoy an evening with friends.

When he stepped into the living room at Daffodil Lane, Andrew did a double take as he noticed the furniture pushed to the walls.  He wasn't left with his confusion for long.  JenniAnn entered the room, humming along to the CD player.

"Oh, good!  You're back!" she greeted, setting down the CDs she was carrying and hugging the angel.  "How was your day?"

"Good.  Really good.  I spoke at the high school.  Jonah went, too."  Andrew stepped into his room, removing his gun from its holster.  "I think the kids are handling everything pretty well."

JenniAnn followed him but looked away when he locked the gun up, knowing he felt self-conscious about it.  "How many admirers did you end up with?"

Andrew looked at his friend in surprise and stepped back into the living room.  "Did Jonah call you?"

JenniAnn laughed.  "That many, huh?  But no, he didn't.  Just remember... I was a teenage girl when we met.  I know how it goes."

Blushing, Andrew waved his hand around the room, eager for a change of subject.  "So, umm, what's going on in here?  I didn't realize Halloween decorating involved moving the furniture."

JenniAnn's face lit up at the question, excited to tell Andrew what they had in store for him.  "Well... the decorating doesn't.  But dancing does."

"Dancing?"  The angel of death looked curiously at her.  "Are you taking up ballet again?"

The woman wrinkled her nose and waved the idea away.  "No!  I wouldn't look so cute in a tutu anymore.  It's just... well... when Mick was here he said you needed to burn some energy and suggested dancing.  But when we called around to see where one would go here to dance the only place we found was hosting something called the 'Ghouls and Ghosts Gala.'  Which gave us the impression that maybe it wouldn't be your scene so... we turned the living room into a dance hall!"

Andrew chuckled.  "I see I have very enterprising friends.  So we're going to be dancing the night away, huh?  But where is everyone else?  Are you here alone?"  The smile faded from the angel's face.

"Relax!  I'm not.  No one broke a rule.  Tess, Monica, Rose, C.J., Lady Beth, and Logan went to pick up pizza.  Well... I suspect the latter only went in hopes the pizza parlor would have arcade games.  Yva and Sir Sven are due back from Dyeland any time now.  Vincent and Catherine are upstairs getting Jacob to sleep.  The dogs, too.  They've really taken to the lil guy.  So, no, I'm not alone."

Relaxing as directed, Andrew began to tap his feet and hum along to the music.  "Pizza and dancing.  And do I smell something baking?"

Andrew headed to the kitchen but JenniAnn pulled him back.

"You have to wait, it's a surprise."

The angel chuckled.  "Okay.  Well, whatever the surprise is, it sounds like a great night to me.  Thanks for helping arrange this."

"Any time.  We want you to have some fun and some peace and... we just want to be with you for a lil while."  JenniAnn squeezed his hand then directed her attention to closing the blinds and curtains for her cousin's sake.

Andrew moved to help, studying his friend as he did.  There was a wistful sadness in her eyes and he wanted to know its cause.  Once all the windows were secure, he smiled at her.  While dancing was a good way to get him to burn energy, Andrew knew it was an even better way to get JenniAnn to talk when she otherwise might not.  "What do you say we break the dance floor in?"

JenniAnn's face lit up and she reached for his hand then paused.  "Maybe we can wait til the next song?"

"Why?  I like this song.  You like this song.  It's Irish."  Andrew paused, tilting his head.  "Why are you giggling?"

"You don't always listen to the lyrics of songs, do you?  You just get to liking a beat and then you want to dance."

"Sure."

"I just can't do that, I guess.  At least... not when dancing with someone.  So, ahem... sample lyrics from Van Morrison's beautiful but inappropriate for us 'Moondance': 'Well it's a marvelous night for a moondance with the stars up above in your eyes... a fantabulous night to make romance 'neath the cover of October skies," JenniAnn recited.

Andrew grinned.  "So you're saying he's not just a fan of the Shelleys or Poe or Hawthorne urging us to write novels and poems with supernatural undertones and an intense focus on nature?  Make Romance.  Capital R.  Like the Romantic period, get it?" he jested.

"You're really such a goof ball sometimes!"

"You should really show more respect for an officer of the law, young lady."

JenniAnn shrugged.  "Eh.  Wearing a uniform and carrying a badge doesn't make you any less goofy."

Andrew laughed.  "All right then.  But I still like this song.  And if we never danced to anything with romantic undertones... I think that would leave us with Christmas carol, hymns, and 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame.'"

"True enough.  But some songs eke a lil past simply romantic.  As happens with verse two: 'Well, I wanna make love to you tonight.  I can't wait till the morning has come.'"  JenniAnn teased, blushing as she did.  "So... shall we wait til the next song?"

It was Andrew's turn to blush.  "Yes, we shall.  I never realized..."  He began to wonder what other songs he'd bopped along to in the past, having no clue what he was dancing to.

"I didn't think you had.  Actually..."  JenniAnn began to rifle through her CDs.  "I first heard this one a couple weeks ago and thought immediately of you so..."

Andrew watched closely as she selected another CD, skipped to the correct track, and stood still as the song began with a few soulful piano notes.  This time, he paid particular attention to the lyrics.

"Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing.  It takes some time to see things through.  Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting.  We need grace either way.  Hold on to me and I'll hold on to you," the chanteuse crooned.

JenniAnn turned around and smiled at him.  "Maybe she's talking romance, maybe she's not.  I dunno.  But we probly shouldn't be too picky, like you said."

"We shouldn't," Andrew agreed as he held out his hand.

As they danced, their earlier levity gave way to companionable silence until Andrew spoke.

"Before, when you said all of you wanted to spend time with me, you looked sad for a moment.  Why?  You know, it's not fair making me talk so that you could help me... which you and the others did very much... and then not letting me return the favor."

JenniAnn knew he had her there.  "Well, for starters, I've just especially missed you today, I guess.  Tess told Rose, Monica, and I a little about when you were first created."

"Uh oh."

"No, Andrew.  It was sweet.  And it made me realize all over again how blessed I am to know you.  How blessed we all are.  To experience your kindness and that innate sense of fairness and respect for others.  And it mixed with other things I've been thinking about.  After our talk last night a lot of the worry and concern I had for you fell away... you let us in."  JenniAnn smiled up at him briefly.  "And so then I found myself focusing more on what's been happening and... I agree with what Yva said then about only the rapist should feel guilty for these attacks.  But at the same time... I think about all the messages young women... maybe all women... get from aspects of this culture.  And guys must see and hear them, too, and God only knows if it warps a few who are already off when it comes to how they perceive women.  'Wear this', 'use this', 'do this', 'eat this', 'don't eat that'... all 'to attract a man.'  'Learn the Top Ten Ways to Turn Him On.'  'Fulfill His Fantasies.'  'Your Guide to Hooking Up.'"

Andrew noticed his friend was turning bright red and he couldn't tell if it was due to anger or embarrassment.  It seemed the latter when she buried her face in his shoulder, hiding.  "Laja, I know that's all out there.  I've worked in enough supermarkets and book stores and newsstands to see more than my share of magazine covers.  You're not shocking me.  Or making me uncomfortable.  The only thing that would make me feel uncomfortable about this was if I knew you wanted to talk about it but wouldn't because you were afraid of offending me.  I'm your friend.  That means I get to be with you through the fun stuff... and the rest, too."

JenniAnn perked up, meeting his gaze with an admiring smile.  "Everyone should have an Andrew," she murmured.

The angel chuckled.  "I don't know about that."

"I do.  But as for what I was saying... those screaming magazine headlines are bad enough.  They make it seems like the guy... and what he likes and wants... should always be the chief concern.  But sometimes it's the more subtle things... the more personal comments... often from other women!" JenniAnn seethed.  "It's hard not to sometimes feel like we're supposed to fulfill whatever some man needs or wants and whatever we need or want... well, that's secondary.  Even with you..."

Andrew looked at her in alarm.

"You don't emanate that message at all.  I don't mean that.  Not one little bit," JenniAnn hastily covered.  "But remember last Christmas?  That awful dress that lady wanted me to buy?  She had to have been able to tell I hated it.  But she kept looking at you.  As if it would please you and, thus, I should suck it up and wear it.  That you steadfastly disagreed with her doesn't make her mode of thinking any less upsetting.  And she's hardly alone.  I can remember when my grandma first found out that I'd actually befriended a boy... you... and she thought... well, I said we were going to see a play... that was when Adam was in The Taming of the Shrew... and I guess she thought it was a date.  Despite my protestations to the contrary.  Next thing I knew, she was carting me around a boutique and, again, she knew I wasn't comfortable with some of the clothes but 'This is what boys like, JenniAnn.'  And they weren't horribly revealing but still... I didn't want them.  But she thought you did and so..."

"Laja, why didn't you tell me any of this before now?" Andrew demanded.  "You're talking about things that happened almost a decade ago!  It obviously got to you but not once did you ever, ever tell me!"

"What could you have done?  Showed up in her living room, all beautifully aglow, and said 'I'm an angel sent by God.  And I really have no interest in your granddaughter's figure'?"

"Well, no.  Probably not that.  It's a little blunt."  Andrew smiled, hoping to cheer JenniAnn and succeeding for a moment.  "But I could have listened to you and supported you.  And I would have told you that even if I did care about your figure, that would still be no reason at all to wear something you were uncomfortable with.  But I had no idea..."

"It's weird for me to talk to you about this stuff.  This... people thinking you're out for something you're not."

"I know.  But I'm not naive.  I know how some people think.  But, Laja," Andrew soothed, "I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt you.  Or make you feel secondary to me.  Because you're not.  It's just..."

"Ingrained."

"I suppose."

"And that's my point!  That just makes it more depressing.  And I do know my grandma never meant to hurt me.  Nor that saleslady.  But as long as that mindset lingers... the misogynists and the abusers will be harder to combat.  Because they also have that subset of the culture feeding into their beliefs that women are inferior and exist for their benefit!  And it'll be harder to feel confident and secure and safe.  I'm blessed in that I have you to counter all those messages.  But for those who don't... it all makes me angry and hurt enough.  How must it be for someone who has survived rape... that most extreme demonstration of objectification?"

"Laja, we can hope and pray that those close to them will do their best to shield them from those influences.  And that when that's impossible, they'll have someone to counter those messages.  Someone to tell them that God loves them and created them as their own beautiful person who deserves respect.  It's not something only I can do, you know."

JenniAnn sighed.  "I know.  Although I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out that those girls flocked to you earlier because of that.  They're probly all confused.  I just hope that confusion doesn't turn them mean... like it did some of my classmates.  And I just can't imagine going through what someone like Erica has and then facing the throng in high school and even college.  Sometimes they were the worst... the other girls, I mean.  Don't do anything and you're a prude and a snob.  Do something and you're a slut.  Sometimes girls were just joking with those names, sometimes not.  Imagine Erica or one of the others hearing all that foolishness bandied about so casually when they've experienced...  All that chatter implies there's always a choice for the girl...  Nothing forced...  Nothing... nothing violent."

Andrew watched helplessly as his friend's facade cracked.  The moral arguments which had shielded her receded to the back of her mind.  Her resolve and righteous indignation fell away.  There was only grief left.  "Laja, c'mon.  Maybe you need to sit down."  He began to lead her to a chair.

She shook her head, fighting back tears.  "No.  We should keep dancing.  I just... I don't want to let you go."

"All right.  We'll keep dancing," the angel promised.

"Thank you.  Andrew, I try not to but I can't help thinking about...  When I first saw Erica... the look in her eyes.  So haunted.  So hurt, afraid.  What she went through...  What the other four did.  What so many have...  It tears me up.  My young adulthood... it was outstanding teachers, proud parents, discovering Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice, reuniting with Vincent, the arrival of friends in Dyeland, and, always, always... you.  And still there were struggles.  And theirs... theirs is interrupted by this heinous, awful, unfair thing.  And I can't help imagining what struggles they may face.  And what if..."

Andrew ceased dancing for just a moment and hugged the distraught woman.  "What is it, Laja?"

"I got to thinking... what if Erica's not particularly angry at you or God or angels?  Or what if that's there but also something else..."

"What else?"

"What if... what if she's lashing out at feelings that scare her now?  When I first spoke to her... I suspected she had a crush on you.  She wanted to hear more about you.  Something in her eyes when I mentioned you...  I just know these things.  And what if, as the shock wore off, those feelings... those desires... they became less palatable?  What if what he did made her afraid to be vulnerable, to trust herself with a man?  And what if that doesn't just go away when she reaches the age when she really wants a serious boyfriend?  What if she decides it's easier just to block that part of herself off?  To be safe that way?" JenniAnn questioned desperately.  "I've never wanted...  It seems to not be in me to want to sleep with anyone.  Not even you.  But I'm at my happiest with you.  Dancing with you... although perhaps right now doesn't make it seem that way.  Curled up beside you watching TV or some old movie.  The spontaneous hugs.  But if something had happened... something that made that sort of closeness difficult... I would be lost.  And I would be angry because I would feel like a chance at something I wanted badly was stolen from me.  What if she feels that for real?"

Andrew stared over her head and out the window, into the stark black sky.  He had to admit JenniAnn's theory was within the realm of possibility.  And he had few answers for her.  But he would try.  "Laja," he began, "if something... if something had happened to you that made it difficult for you to trust me, but I knew you wanted what we have now... the dancing and the hugs and all of that... I would have been patient.  And I would have taken my cues from you.  Because I still would have loved you.  And I still would have wanted you in my life.  I know that it's not exactly the same.  I know that, in time, Erica might want more from a relationship than I ever will."

"More than either of us ever will," JenniAnn piped up quietly.

"Right.  But when she meets that man who will truly, truly love her... he'll be patient and he will help her.  Because he'll want her in his life.  And Erica and the others... they're not alone.  They will have help.  They'll have counseling for as long as they need it.  Monica and whomever follows in her footsteps will see to that.  And as long as Erica stays with the Martins, all those girls have incredibly supportive families.  That'll make a big difference in helping them reclaim all aspects of their lives.  And as for your concern about them getting through school, I have to believe that, at least eventually, a loving parent's words outweigh anything spoken by an inconsiderate classmate.  And that a true friend's respect will have more of an impact than an acquaintance's callousness.  And who knows?  Maybe those girls will be more careful with how they talk, knowing what's happened to some of their own."

JenniAnn mulled it all over in her mind, finally nodding.   "Andrew?"

"Hmm?"

"I think Erica will eventually want to talk to you again.  I think... once some of the pain has passed... she'll remember and cling to your kindness.  Because it's awfully hard to ignore or forget."

The angel sighed.  Despite his improved mood and increased hope, Erica's anguish and anger still hurt deeply and caused him great concern.  "You really think so, Laja?"

"Very much."  JenniAnn paused in their dance and hugged him.  "Ya know, 'Unforgettable' would be a good song for you, too."

Andrew chuckled.  "Maybe we can dance to that later."

"Sure, after dinner.  Which reminds me... I need to go set the table."

"We'll set the table," Andrew corrected.  "And then I'm going to go change.  I'm getting a little tired of this uniform."

"I like the uniform."

"As much as flannel and jeans?"

"Yeah, changing is a good idea," JenniAnn agreed hastily.

Both smiling, the two worked together on their task.
*~*~*

I actually hadn't read that scene in several years and it covered a lot more than I remembered so... now I don't have as much to say!  

It's not a very funny scene but it is in the sense that it's funny what JenniAnn blushes over... and that she had such a problem with "Moondance" and Andrew went along with it.  They'd probably be mortified to know what their modern counterparts dance to... and even what their current living arrangements are!   But I suppose it is pretty cool that now Andrew and JenniAnn could discuss these topics with each other blush-free... although probably with more angst now since they're parents. 

One thing I'm really glad I brought up is that the objectification of women isn't something that is perpetrated solely by men.  Women and girls can feed into it... either purposefully or unconsciously.  The latter is very sad, of course.  But the former is particularly brutal.  I do think it's more complicated than JenniAnn gets into.  I think it's highly possible that if Girl A slut-shames Girl B then it's because Girl A was slut-shamed previously and is trying to get the focus off herself.  It's certainly not noble behavior.  But it's possible to have some empathy. 

It also made me sad when JenniAnn ponders what it would be like if she was assaulted and, as a result, had trouble connecting with Andrew.  While she was never raped, Rex's assault did have exactly that result... thankfully temporarily.  And Andrew did patiently help her heal.  It also makes me think of Peter and Emma and even Joshua.  As the result of one man's cruelty, Emma had trouble starting up a relationship with Peter and, worse yet, her relationship with Joshua deteriorated to the point that the connection was basically only on his side.  And then there's Salma.  She was so brutalized by men that when Joshua tried to comfort her, he couldn't even use his true form.  He had to initially approach her as a talking lion.  It's just really startling and upsetting to think of the collateral damage of sexual abuse. 

But at least we're at a point in time when we can talk about these issues, write about them, and shine a light on them via TV, movies, books, podcasts, etc.  I'm grateful for that!


This newsletter is dedicated to John Dye for portraying the awesome, compassionate gentleman that was and is Andrew.  :-)

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