"Hope lies in dreams, in imagination,
and in the courage
of those who dare to make dreams into
reality." ~~Jonas Salk
Hi all,
It's been a rough week for my family so this newsletter isn't
really what I intended it to be. Further, I'm not
entirely sure what impact personal matters will have on the
next few newsletters... not to mention my story writing
time. So if a bunch of trope lists and repurposed
college papers start appearing... thanks in advance for your
understanding. Heck, the next issue could just be photos
of my pets with captions purportedly written by Andrew.
I'm just trying to not do anything that adds stress right
now.
In short, two of my great uncles passed away last week
(unrelated events) and another of my uncles is gravely
ill. So that's been pretty trying and sad. On a
much less serious but annoying note, my air conditioner is on
the fritz. It's kinda hard to feel creative when your
house temp is 87 degrees and your dogs are panting but
refusing to go in the (much, much cooler) basement. So
in light of that, I was going to send one of my college papers
but wasn't finding the one I wanted. I came across one
about the significance of dreams and almost sent that with the
excuse that the Dyeland stories sometimes contain significant
dreams and visions. But that felt like a stretch.
However, in thinking about that, I recalled the story scene
below. I got to thinking that it might be interesting to
give a "behind-the-scenes" look on select Dyeland story
scenes. Maybe explain why I made certain decisions, how
TBAA inspired this or that element, etc. I chose the
scene below but if you are a Dyeland story reader and have
particular scenes you'd like to know more about, please let me
know. I may keep this up in the future. If you
have something in mind, it'd be helpful if you could tell me
the story title but even a description of the scene would help
if you don't recall the title. Thanks in advance for any
suggestions! Now onto the dissecting...
I'm going to copy and paste the scene in question first and then
get into the commentary afterwards. For context, "A Cord
of Three Strands" was the first post-"Carpenter" Valentine's
story. Belle is one year old. Avi is just a gleam in
his parents' eyes. Liam has only been with Monica and
Arthur for a few months. Andrew has moved into Willowveil
and, a month and a half before, Metatron appeared to him and
JenniAnn and urged them to share a room. So that's how
things have been going when we come to this...
Anam Caras Saturday, February 14th, 2015
Andrew woke up shaking and at first thought JenniAnn or
one of the dogs was hogging the blankets. But
no... He was completely covered and the room was
comfortably warm. The angel rolled to his side and,
seeing JenniAnn, remembered what he had dreamed and why he was
shaking. Sobbing. Sirens. Silence. Andrew let out a shuddering sigh and rested his hand on
JenniAnn's arm. She smiled but did not wake. As
much as he wanted to talk to her, he didn't feel right waking
her. They'd gone to bed late, after celebrating Clay's
and Kylie's engagement and working on the video. On top
of that, it would be a long, though happy, day: breakfast with
a number of their friends then the party in the ballroom with
even more friends followed by a visit to JenniAnn's parents
and grandma so they could give Belle her Valentine's presents
and, hopefully, finding some time to sneak away by themselves
for a dance or two. His chills lingering, Andrew slipped out of bed, grabbed
his robe, and made his way to Belle's nursery. Like her
mother, she was sleeping soundly. Her breathing was
normal, no hint of the week's earlier raspiness. Andrew
prayed over her then headed to the library. After
getting a fire going, he pulled a chair directly in front of
it. Staring into the flames, the angel tried to piece
together the dream. It was more sounds... the sobbing
and the sirens... and colors... red, everywhere... than
anything episodic. There had been random images but they
were strange: childish beads, a cloaked and hooded figure,
rain. Lots of rain. A small duck, fighting to stay
afloat on the current. And the cross... her cross with
the six birthstones... No, he wouldn't think about that part. Shaking all
of the images off, Andrew closed his eyes and began to pray. "Is there anything to it, Father? Was it just...
confusion, Joshua? So many assignments... They're
bound to come up randomly, weaved into my own life in
nonsensical ways. Aren't they?" He heaved a sigh. "Laja's here. And she's happy... and safe.
Our Belle, too. Thank You for that. That's what
matters. Not dreams." Andrew's eyes fluttered open. It was a dream that
brought JenniAnn to Belle and him on that first night. Closing his eyes again, the angel of death resumed his
prayers. "If there's a message that I'm meant to take from this
nightmare, please help me to know it. If there's
something I'm meant to do, please lead me to it. As
always, I place my family, my friends, and myself in Your
hands." "Andrew, love, what are you doing?" JenniAnn approached. She glanced at a chair and
tried to decide whether to move it closer to Andrew's. Smiling for her, Andrew rose. "I woke up and you looked so peaceful. I was
afraid I'd wake you up if I stayed so..." JenniAnn gently pushed him back into the chair, frowned,
and rested her hand against his forehead. "You look pale... a little clammy even. I hope
you're not catching Belle's cold." "I don't think so. I feel fine." And he
did... physically. "Well, in that case..." Andrew chuckled when JenniAnn perched on the left arm of
his chair. "So you were going to avoid me if I had the sniffles?"
he teased. "Avoid's a strong word. But maybe I'd be slightly
less cuddly." JenniAnn grinned then readjusted.
"Although... I forgot that these wooden arms aren't terribly
comf..." Andrew looped his arm around her waist and pulled. Startled but pleased, JenniAnn blushed as she
spoke. "All right then. Did not know this was an
option. Will most definitely keep that in mind for
future seating reference." Andrew clasped her hand. "Laja... Happy
Valentine's Day." He rested his chin on her hair when
she nestled against his chest. "Happy Valentine's Day to you, too, but..." While
not budging from his lap, JenniAnn sat up, cupped the angel's
chin, and peered into his eyes. "Something's
wrong. Tell me?" Andrew brought both her hands to his lips then
began. "I had a nightmare." "Oh, love..." "About you." "Did I bleach all your flannel shirts? That would
be a nightmare!" Andrew gave her a wan smile and buried his right hand in
her hair. "Andrew..." "I don't even know what happened in it. Just...
flashes of things... sirens, crying, rain... And the way
I felt... so... so halved. You..." Tears welled in
the angel of death's eyes. JenniAnn let out a shaky breath and bowed her
head. It was slightly alarming... but only
slightly. It wouldn't be the first time Andrew's AOD
work had made him fret over her and that was likely all it was
and even if not... She thumbed some tears away from his
face. "Love, I've felt that, too. Halved. In
waking life, I mean. When you were in the hospital after
you'd been living on the streets, when you were in Afghanistan
with Max. But... but it was fleeting. You came
back to us, to me. Even if, let's say, something did
happen to me... I might very well recover as you did.
Or... or if not here then... then I would still be with
you. Joshua promised." Andrew smiled and nodded. "He did." "And, if it makes you feel any better, Joshua promised
me something else. He said he'd be back for a holiday
here and there and that he'd show up and join me as I had a
cup of tea and that he'd appear in the Tunnels. He told
me that I'd have to wait for those times. Showing up for
Christmas doesn't fulfill 'a holiday here and there' as far as
I'm concerned. It's just one holiday... a wonderful one
but still just one. And he hasn't surprised me as I
sipped tea or unexpectedly come Below. So either we're
going to have a bunch of rapid fire visits from Joshua...
which doesn't really fit with the waiting thing... or I'm
going to be here for quite a while. Which is for the
best because I don't think our friends would tolerate you
getting another anam cara. They're quite loyal to me." JenniAnn's coquettish grin dispelled the last of
Andrew's uneasiness. He laughed as he embraced her
tightly. "You should have been a lawyer, Laja. Although
theologian does suit you better." Andrew exhaled deeply
and kissed her temple. "I feel better. Thank you." "You're welcome." "Daaaada. Maaaama." JenniAnn laughed as she got to her feet. "We're
being paged." "Dada! Mama!" "Persistently," Andrew added as he took her hand and
headed across the hall. They found Belle standing up in her crib, her face
pressed against the bars and her lips pursed. Her parents laughed at her grouchy face. "Almost Tess-like!" Andrew joked. Belle giggled as if she understood the joke then hugged
Andrew's neck when he picked her up. As he snuggled her, Andrew held his free arm aloft then
wrapped it around JenniAnn when she approached. "Now how do you feel?" JenniAnn asked. "Blessed," the angel replied.
*~*~*
Premonitions and insights in the form of dreams is a popular
trope, including within the Bible. So I like to
incorporate it whenever I can because it brings together a
mythical, mystical element but in a very believable way... at
least to me. I've sometimes had dreams that seemed to have
an eerie connection to eventual events. I really liked the
idea of Andrew sometimes having them. And here's the thing
about "psychic dreams"... they can be really cool. But
what happens when you have one, maybe with a positive outcome,
but then have a nightmare? Would that make you even more
afraid that the nightmare might come true?
There's also a meta-element to this scene. A couple of
months prior to John Dye's death, I had a dream in which I was
on vacation and, to my delight, happened to be somewhere that he
was giving a talk. But then when I entered the auditorium
and saw him, my heart sank. I just knew he was
dying. And I remember thinking "Oh no... How am I
going to tell the JABBers?" When I woke up, I dismissed
it. A co-worker had recently died under tragic
circumstances which had made me cling more to John's portrayal
of Andrew than I had recently. So I figured my nightmare
was just that. With his importance rising, how horrible
would it be to lose him? And then, a couple of months
later, John really did pass away and I did have to tell the JABB
YG.
That was harrowing enough as is but then for a while afterwards,
I felt panicky any time I had a similarly feeling dream.
What if that came true, too?
So by giving this precognitive nightmare to Andrew, I was kinda
working through the remaining feelings connected to my own
nightmare about John. It was somewhat commforting to
imagine his doppelganger dealing with some of the same emotions
and questions as I had. Since he'd had the dream about
JenniAnn rescuing Belle, he knows that sometimes his dreams,
particularly about JenniAnn, come true. So when he has
this negative one... It's frightening. And JenniAnn
has to kinda talk him down. Of course, we find out later
that Andrew had reason to be concerned. The dream did come
true when JenniAnn was shot by Max's father. But her
counsel comes true, too. Joshua's promise holds and she
and Andrew remain together.
The other thing that interested me about this scene is it's one
of the rare instances when Andrew initiates a new form of
physical intimacy with JenniAnn. Usually, she takes the
lead. She kissed him first. She crawled into bed
with him first (non-sexually of course!). She'd routinely
perch on the arm of the chair he was sitting on. So it was
kinda surprising to her when he pulled her onto his lap.
I'm sure if she hadn't been so shocked, it might have occurred
to her that Andrew was, perhaps, feeling more vulnerable than
she realized. Because that's not really like him...
Well, not exactly.
It's struck me how often on TBAA Andrew initiated a hug or
comforting touch or even the occasional kiss on the head/hair
with the other angels or his assignments. He did seem to
be someone whose emotions had a physical outlet. So that's
what made me think him pulling JenniAnn onto his lap was
in-character. Obviously, he wouldn't just do that with
anyone. That would be creepy. But given he knows
she's in love with him and given they'd been sharing a bed, he
had good reason to believe she'd be pleased by the action.
And, of course, she was. Still... Andrew is
generally pretty careful with JenniAnn. So I think an
argument could be made that, in the moment, he put his need for
physical connection with her above his usual protective
nature... which I think shows how seriously he took the
nightmare. I think he might have sulked over it a bit more
if not for the fact that it was Valentine's Day and they had a
party to get to.
One thing that occurred to me as I was re-reading this that I
don't think I thought about before is the actual content of
Andrew's nightmarish vision. Most of it is very
literal. Catherine and Vincent did sob. There were
sirens. The red was JenniAnn's blood. Vincent was
the cloaked figure. The beads were the bracelet that Belle
and Shelby gave JenniAnn while she was in a coma. The
birthstone cross is JenniAnn's necklace which Portia gave to
Andrew for safekeeping during her surgery and recovery.
But then there's the rain and the duckling... Neither
appear during JenniAnn's actual shooting or during the immediate
aftermath. The rain could be a symbol for tears... or it
could be a hint that this all builds into a story that connects
to the Great Flood. But the duckling really stands out to
me. Of all that God could have shown Andrew, He goes with
the duckling... Violeta. And I wonder if Andrew latter
pondered that at all. Because it ends up being Violeta who
definitively calls JenniAnn back from the Hereafter. I
think it's possible that the dream was as much a warning about
trouble befalling Violeta as it was about JenniAnn being in
danger. Maybe it's for the best that Andrew never dwelled
on the duckling in the current. He felt badly enough about
Violeta's scary encounter with Nen without thinking that he
should have kept a closer eye on her.
Finally, I kinda miss babyish Belle!
This newsletter is dedicated to John Dye
whose encouraging, calming words as Andrew have comforted me
through many losses. And I know that goes for so many
people reading this, too!
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from Touched
by an Angel and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used
to seek profit.)