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"Imagine" by John Lennon

Audrey: Hello! Myself and JenniAnn are here again for a second debate brought to you live by JABBNews on the Net! This time we are not only joined by Adam and Andrew but also another presidential hopeful, Henry of the Resol party. Also present are a few loyal voters with questions for the candidates. Let's go to JenniAnn on the floor!

JenniAnn: Hi Audrey! You can just feel the tension here as the candidates prepare to begin the debate. There's a slightly larger crowd here tonight. Perhaps followers of Henry? Anyway, the debate is about to begin.

Voice: Welcome to the second Presidential Debate. The candidates will now be accepting questions.

Reporter 1: Yes, to all the candidates. In the event you are elected what can we hope to see change in the way of taxes?

Andrew: I'd like to take a look at the budget and see where we can make cuts so a reasonable decrease can be made in taxes.

Adam: No more taxes for anyone!

(a hush falls over the crowd)

Adam: What, isn't that good?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah that's great! It will totally work too! (a tad bit of sarcasm in the usually sweet angel's voice).

Reporter 1: Henry?

Henry: Uhhh.... What are taxes?

Voice: Let's move on. Next question please?

Joy C.: This is for Andrew, what is your take on the new short, spiky hairdos men are sporting?

Andrew: Hmm.... Good question. I think men should be able to do what every they want with their hair without a bunch of women going into convulsions.

Audrey: Oooh, that could be labeled as insensitivity by a faction of Andrew's supporters.

JenniAnn: No kidding! I mean you totally get used to a guy's wonderful long, blonde hair and he cuts it and you have no right to get a tad bit upset?!? I mean so maybe you do write a few top ten lists and crazy stories and make up a dog to make you feel better. What's so wrong about that!? And so what if you hold a candle light vigil until the hair grows back!?! Is that so wrong?

Audrey: JenniAnn...

JenniAnn: Hair is important! Hair is.....

Audrey: JenniAnn!!

JenniAnn: What?

Audrey: Remember what the doctor told you. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.....

Voice: Next question?

Joy C.: Yes, Adam do you really think an angel should swear, even in the event of being under a lot of stress?

Adam: Well, no but unfortunately sometimes an angel gets upset and sorta loses their control of their vocabulary and something might involuntarily slip out. After that I imagine the angel would apologize profusely had the camera man not left for a lunch break.

Joy C.: Thanks, good to know. Now Henry, what would you do to improve Foreign Relations?

Henry: Okay, so the world's totally like a big party. See you send out these invitations that clearly say to RSVP. But some people just don't RSVP! Then you start the party and like 50 people show up that did not RSVP. So you go into the dining room and rearrange some things and then we could totally party with the Haitians.

Adam: Time out! (walks over to Henry). Henry, come on let's step outside for a bit don't you think?

Henry: Sure, why not?

JenniAnn: Ooh, this looks interesting. Let's go follow! (Creeps in a not so undercover way after the two angels until they're outside.)

Adam: Henry, now I know we're competing here but you're still a good friend of mine and I think you need help.

Henry: Oh no, not again.....

Adam: Henry, when was the last time you watched "Clueless."

Henry: Ummm.... a year ago.

Adam: Don't lie to me!

Henry: An hour ago....

Adam: Uh huh. That's what I thought. Now how many times have you watched the movie in the past month?

Henry: 281.

Adam: Oh boy..... Okay, well let's go back inside we'll talk about this later.

Audrey: JenniAnn, JenniAnn? So did you get anything?

JenniAnn: Oh yeah.... Seems Henry is a bit obsessed with a mid- 90s teen flick.

Audrey: Interesting. Well, get back inside they're preparing for another question.

Voice: While, the other candidates are taking their places is there another question for the Horologium candidate?

Reporter 2: Before the last debate you were quoted as saying if you won you'd make Dyeland the world capital. Can you explain to us where exactly Dyeland is?

Andrew: Of course. Dyeland is another dimension, although easily accessible from this dimension. It is inhabited by this most wonderful people I've ever had the pleasure to meet and I can insure you that it would be a wonderful place for peace talks and meetings as the very air promotes peace except in the event a bad force is added for the sake of drama. In short, it is a beautiful land filled with beautiful people.

Audrey, JenniAnn, Joy and the rest of the assembled Dyelanders: Awww!

Audrey: Are you over the hair thing now, JenniAnn?

JenniAnn: He's so cute!

Audrey: Yep, thought so.

Voice: We are now going into our commercial break do the candidates have any closing remarks?

Adam: Turkeys rule!

Andrew: Dyelanders drool, literally! Gotta love em!

Henry: You'll get 2 days of the most amazing presidency if you vote for me!!

Audrey: We'll be right back after this commercial break!

Click here for Adam's commericial

Click here for Andrew's commercial

(Commercials should load as soon as you click on the link.)

JenniAnn: And we're back with more live coverage of the second debate! And what an exciting debate it's been right Audrey?

Audrey: Right! First some surprising comments from Andrew then that episode with Henry and Adam!

JenniAnn: Adam sure has proven to be an interesting character with that disappearance issue, also.

Audrey: Well, maybe we'll get some light shed on that right now!

Voice: Do we have a question?

Audrey: Yes! Adam, at the last debate your years of disappearance were brought up and you promptly shied away from an explanation. Well, the voters need to know if they're electing a president with skeletons in his closet!

Adam: Umm, uhhhh.

Andrew: Good gosh. You're an angel! What could you have done that you can't admit to?

Adam: It's not bad per say....

Henry: That's it! I'm telling them Adam!

Adam: No Henry! Don't!

Henry: I have to! People, here's the deal. Adam was helping me. During an assignment with some teens I got addicted to the movie "Clueless." Adam helped me to get over it. He even hooked me up with this great show, TBAA. It worked for a bit but then I relapsed. Adam's been trying to get me help for the past 6 years. He's a great friend.

Reporters: Awwww!

Andrew: Henry, why didn't you tell me? I could have helped. I do know a bit about addiction....

Henry: You were just so busy with humans... I didn't want to bother you.

Reporters: Awww, poor Henry! Good Adam!

Andrew: It wouldn't have been a bother!

Reporters: Workaholic!

JenniAnn: Whoa, wait this isn't right!

Voice: What are you doing!?!? You, blonde girl! Get off the stage!

JenniAnn: No! This is ridiculous! Andrew helps us humans and you call him a workaholic because two of his friends didn't tell him about an addiction to a movie! Maybe Henry just needs to accept his addiction like the rest of us here!

Henry: Hmm, that's an idea..... Start a club?

Audrey: Yeah, totally! Name yourself president and get a bunch of people to join you.

Henry: Wow! That sounds great! Well, adios people! I found something I can do happily more than twice! I gotta start, maybe I'll come to the next debate! (Disappears)

JenniAnn: (stepping off of stage) Well, that was utterly ridiculous! What just happened there?

Audrey: No clue! Well, at least we know what's behind Adam's disappearance. I must admit though I was hoping it would make him look a little bit worse. Unfortunately, Andrew seems to have been made to look like the bad guy.

JenniAnn: Yeah, but something still seems odd about the deal.....

Audrey: Well, we can ponder it back at the castle meanwhile the next question is up.

Reporter 3: To the remaining candidates, could you better explain the platforms for your parties?

Andrew: Of course, the Horologium party has a strong interest in keeping the world happy and at peace. We're strong on health care and childcare. We're also big on cracking down on those who use the Internet for evil purposes, even if that means smashing a few computers. In short, we want everyone to feel loved.

Adam: Well, Hydras just want everyone to have fun, as long as it doesn't harm others. We're also strong on language programs which teach people how to talk properly so as not to use certain words which follow them for several years.... Also, we're a pro-turkey group.

Reporter 3: Thanks for the clarification.

Voice: Next question?

Ali: Andrew, what is with this supposed dislike of chocolate...and what do you have to say for yourself?

Andrew: Well, I personally do enjoy the occasional chocolate cookie or ice cream. I do know that the man who portrays me on television does not like chocolate and I don't feel at liberty to speak for him.

Adam: I like chocolate! Cookies, cakes, ice cream, straight chocolate, hot chocolate, chocolate milk! Vote for me and I'll designate an Honorary Chocolate Day!

Voice: Great, another question?

JenniAnn: Yes, if elected we'd be trusting you with our very lives, our children's lives. What have you done that shows you are worthy of this awesome amount of trust?

Adam: Well, unfortunately a lot of what I've done has gone unnoticed by the TBAA cameras. I am a very dedicated friend though as you can see from my dealings with Henry.

Andrew: I suppose maybe I haven't done anything truly great. I haven't single-handedly stopped a war. I haven't ended world hunger. I haven't even been able to get all my assignments to see the light. But I have comforted the mourning. I have brushed the tears away from the faces of lost children. I have laughed with you. I have prayed for you. I have seen the great horrors of this world and I want to help stop them. I have loved you and I hope that is great enough.

JenniAnn: (brushes away a few tears) That was so beautiful.....

Audrey: It sure was.....

Voice: (sniffling) Is there a final question?

Audrey: Once again we'd like to know if you both will be joining us again?

Andrew: I would be delighted to.

Adam: Sure.

JenniAnn: Well, that's it for our live broadcast from the 2nd debate.

Audrey: Join us next time!

JenniAnn: Send us your questions and be sure to register! Email for information on both! Good night!

Audrey: Good night and remember our future lies in your hands!