“You're going to make a difference. A lot of times it won't be huge, it won't be visible even.
But it will matter just the same. Don't do it for praise or money, that's what I want to tell you.
Do it because it needs to be done. Do it to make your world better.”

~~Ed Brubaker, Gotham Central, Book One: In the Line of Duty

Hi all,

At long last, we got some decent weather in my neck of the woods!  So I'm heading out soon to go see Black Panther.  Please enjoy this superhero-themed newsletter!

God bless,

If the Angels and Dyelanders Were Superheroes...

1.  Andrew's secret identity would be Flannel Man.  He would defeat evil-doers by blinding them with his studly manliness whilst wearing jeans and a flannel shirt.  If that still didn't work, he'd just destroy their weapons and gadgets with his handy-dandy wooden baseball bat.

2.  Monica would patrol the streets, fighting crime, as Lady Latte.  After just a few mocha lattes, Lady Latte would have enough energy and strength to tie up numerous goons and force them to drink iced coffee or frappuccinos until brain freeze caused them to turn away from their evil deeds.

3.  Tess, with her awesome singing voice and incredible range, would become the Cacophonous Countess.  After a couple rounds of "When the Saints Go Marching In" interlaced with infrasound, the Countess would have numerous villains crying for their mommies.  Which brings us to...

4.  JenniAnn's alter-ego would be Mama Bear.  She'd just adopt all the villains and ground them until they agreed to be nice little boys and girls.  Her alter-alter ego would be Divine Vengeance who would only target Lady Latte and the Cacophonous Countess when she felt they weren't being sensitive enough to Flannel Man's precious emotions.  Grrr.

5.  Henry's double life would see him fighting crime as Balloon Man!  He'd throw villains onto his fleet of hot air balloons, lead them up into the heavens, and blast Bette Midler's "From a Distance" until they were rendered into blubbering messes who just want everyone to get along.

6.  Marty/Metatron would be known as Professor Snipe (haha).  His twin powers of acerbic wit and withering glares would disarm any opponent and leave them reconsidering their choices in life.

7.  Vincent's superhero name would be Shylock the Conqueror.  No, he wouldn't tear villains up with his massive, powerful claws.  That's so 1980s.  Instead, Shylock/Vincent would back villains into a corner and then give them a lesson on Shakespeare and other great works of literature.  The encounter would surely lead them to conclude that to be or not to be a villain... well, they'd choose to go with not to be. 

8.  You know Batman!  You know Catwoman!  Now get to know...  Turkeyman!  Adam's a lover, not a fighter but, as Turkeyman, he'd have no problem with spiking evildoers' food and drink with tryptophan until they went nighty-night, leaving their plans for mayhem undone.

9.  Logan may not be a vampire anymore but he'd still have super powers on display as... Comics Man!  Nerd that he is, Logan would provide villains with an endless litany of how their evil plans compare with those of other arch-nemeses from comic books and how said villains were defeated.  Eventually the villains would be so exhausted and demoralized and feel so unoriginal that they'd walk away defeated.

10.  Joshua would be... well, Joshua.  Because he's as super as they get as is.  But maybe he'd wear Victor Garber's Supermanesque shirt from Godspell.  God save the people, indeed!

Top Ten Ways Andrew is Better than a Superhero

Okay, okay...  So it's really just top ten ways *I* think Andrew is better.  Because there are some pretty awesome and crush-worthy superheroes out there.  And yet none have swayed me from our beloved AOD.  Maybe because...

10.  The obvious first: Andrew truly is unbreakable.  Superman may be harmed by kryptonite and other heroes have their own weaknesses but Andrew is completely immortal.

9.  Generally speaking, superheroes stand for all that is right and good.  But sometimes they stray a little too far into vengeance or abuse of power.  Andrew has no desire for power and knows vengeance belongs to God alone. 

8.  Superhero outfits can get upgraded and improved endlessly but they'll never look as good as Andrew's white suits and flannel and jeans ensembles!

7.  What superhero do you know of who has worked as a lawyer, doctor, Secret Service agent, judge, barista, coach, and so on?  Andrew's all sorts of multi-talented!

6.  He's faced down Satan and other demons on multiple occasions... which kinda makes battling with the Joker and his ilk seem pretty mild.

5.  Superheroes sometimes get into petty fights with each other.  The most antagonistic Andrew's ever been is that one time he got snippy with Adam in "The Sign of the Dove."

4.  Andrew's so driven to look at resolving issues without violence that he wouldn't even take a fake ray-gun whilst playing a fake alien!

3.  Andrew's had to come face to face with lifetimes worth of evil people and horrible deeds but he never loses hope nor turns his back on humanity.

He knows God loves everyone... even the worst of us.

1.  So Andrew tries to show everyone that love... even when it's really, really hard.

This newsletter is dedicated to John Dye for giving us a different sort of hero in Andrew.

JABB Portal
JABB 512

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from Touched by an Angel and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)