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"Hakuna Matata" from the Lion King
Hello JABBers!!! This issue marks a very special occasion! JABB has now entered its second year! It was only 2 years ago tonight that Jarrod, Barbara, Audrey, and I formed the foundation of this newsletter in the TBAA chatroom... But if you want the entire history go back and check out Newsletter 25. Before we get to the issue a few announcements.
We'd like to apologize for an error made in the past issue. It was indeed Newsletter 48 and not 38. Apparently Chiwawa (read Jenni) got a little confused and misnumbered it. Also, if anyone still wants to try their hand at the scavenger hunt from Chiwawa's issue you have until July 25th to email your answers to Jenni. You can view the new JABB scoreboards at:
http://www.contests.onthisside.net/scoreboard.html
Now onto the 2nd Anniversary issue!
"I can't wait until everyone's all together in the castle again!" JenniAnn said excitedly as she finished straightening the pictures on one of the walls. She and Audrey had spent days getting the castle ready for the party that would take place the next evening and were finally finishing up.
"Yeah, it's been a while. Well, I guess not if you count Chiwawa's stunt a few weeks ago. That got a lot of people here!" Audrey replied with a still slightly angry note.
"Oh well, it made for an interesting story any way. Can you believe it's been two years since we started this!?" JenniAnn asked.
"Well, in some ways it seems like only yesterday we found out the truth about John's hair and laughed over that earring but then again it seems like we've been at this forever."
"Yeah, it's confusing but I wouldn't give it up for anything! I have so many great memories of JABB! I know even when we move on I'll never forget that."
"Oh, there's no way I'll forget it. I don't think anyone can ever forget some of the crazy stuff these walls have seen." Audrey replied as she looked around the room lovingly.
With those final words the two finished their cleaning and went to their rooms to rest for the next day.
Around nine in the morning Audrey awoke, got herself ready, and mentally noted the final preparations needed for the event. She went downstairs and was surprised that JenniAnn was not there sipping her first coffee of the morning as usual.
"That's strange," she thought, "I guess she's just tired with all the planning and cleaning and decorating."
So Audrey prepared breakfast for herself and after an hour or so had passed caterers and Chiwawa's family and John and Victor showed up to help with the last minute problems that might arise. Still at 11 JenniAnn had not shown up. Finally, Audrey decided it was time to check on her.
When she entered the room she found JenniAnn was not asleep at all but sat dressed and seemingly ready for the day.
"What are you doing!?! We have to get going! The party starts in 5 hours!" Audrey questioned with exasperation.
"Party? What party?" JenniAnn asked bewildered.
"Ha ha. Very funny. Now come on!" Audrey pulled JenniAnn towards the door.
"Hey! Let go of me! I will not tolerate strangers bursting into my room and dragging me away!" JenniAnn screamed back angrily.
"Strangers? Girl, come on this is ridiculous. How is it now you decide to be a comic? This is JABB's second anniversary and we have to go!"
"Jab? Do I know him?"
"Uggghhh!"
"Hey, what's the hold up? Chiwawa's starting to get impatient." John entered the room with Victor following him.
"We thought we'd come up and see if everything was okay." Victor added apologetically as he noticed the not so happy faces of the two girls and assumed they had intruded on a heated argument.
"Get out of my room!!!! What is with you people!?" JenniAnn screamed as she stared at the men standing by the door.
Surprised by the angry edge in the usually subdued voice Audrey, Victor, and John all bolted for the door and slammed it shut behind them. Once in the hall Audrey explained the situation.
"She's gone insane. After joking about it for two years she's seriously lost her mind!" Audrey told excitedly.
"Go back to the beginning. What exactly happened?" John asked.
"Okay, well, last night we finished cleaning about 10 and both went to our rooms. That's the last I saw of her. About 9 I got up and came downstairs. I was surprised JenniAnn wasn't there cause she's usually up by 7. Well, I didn't pay much attention until just a few minutes ago when I came up here. She was just sitting there in her room and when I came in she told me that not only did she have no clue what the party was but she didn't know who I was! Or JABB! At first I thought it was her idea of a practical joke but it's gone way beyond that! She'd have cracked by now!"
"Wow and it's pretty obvious she doesn't know who either of us are." Victor added.
"Well, one of us better go in there and try to at least get her to settle down." John suggested.
"I'm out! I already dealt with her! It's up to one of you." Audrey answered.
"Paper, rock, scissors?" Victor offered.
"Sure. 1...2...3..." With that Victor made the gesture for paper and John, the rock.
"Well, wish me luck then." John said as he opened the door.
Inside JenniAnn was seated near her desk looking questioningly at a photo on it of her, Audrey, and John outside a cafe in Ireland. Suddenly, she was aware of the presence in the room.
"It's you." She said without glancing his way and still gazing at the photograph.
"Yep, it was taken last summer. We stopped by to visit Chiwawa, umm, a friend." John covered as he realized names meant very little now.
"I don't know what happened. I just woke up and didn't know where I was. I knew my name, stuff like my favorite color, my parents' names, where I was born. But I can't remember anything about why I'm here. Or where 'here' is."
"Hmm.. Well, I'll see if I can help you out. First, my name is John Dye. I have a TV show called "Touched by an Angel," it's your favorite show. I play an angel of death named Andrew. That other guy out there is also an actor. His name is Victor. He's been in a lot of stuff. And Audrey was the one who came in here first. She runs JABB with you." John explained gently.
"Yes, she mentioned this JABB. What is it?"
"Well, umm, it stands for the John/Andrew Bucket Brigade. It's a newsletter you started with her and a couple others about, well, me."
"Really? I actually started a newsletter for an actor, I mean no offense but yikes!"
John laughed before continuing. "Yes, and tonight is the 2nd anniversary of the night it all began. Your 100+ members are all coming here for a party and.."
"And I have no clue what's going on." JenniAnn cut him off.
"Well, yeah, that is a concern."
"Well, I guess we'll see what can be done."
Later Audrey, Victor, and John all sat around a table in an office. Each of them had a box containing various items they hoped would remind JenniAnn of the past two years. JenniAnn stood by a window and then turned around to face them.
"Okay, let's give this a try then," she began.
Victor started. "Okay, I think maybe you'll recognize this. It was the first time you saw me." With that he pulled out a VHS copy of "Godspell" with his picture on the side.
"That's you!" JenniAnn giggled as she noted the vast difference between the picture and the man seated across the table.
"Well, yeah, but do you recognize it at all? Think hippies running around New York singing about God." He added hopefully.
"No, sorry, nothing."
"Umm... Okay, how about this?" This time a few photos were produced of four smiling people taking a late night walk through an enchanted garden.
"Well, it's us. I see that but when? Why?"
Victor sighed and showed some more videos, CDs, photos, and excerpts of past issues but none drew the desired effect so John began.
"Okay, here we go! How about......this!" John beamed as he held up the item.
"A toolbelt? I'm sorry, sir, umm John but I'm not very good with tools. I wouldn't even know what half those things were."
"She didn't get the toolbelt! You guys this is useless!" Audrey whispered to the others.
"Don't say that! I still have other stuff." John selected another item from the box. "Okay now look at this. You gave this to me. Remember?"
"A valentine. Cute but I'm sorry. Still nothing. What time is it?"
"Almost 3." Victor answered.
"Oh no!" JenniAnn cried.
"Don't worry... yet. Audrey, why don't you try?" John tried to remain calm.
"I'll give it a try! You have a 2x4 handy? One good knock upside the head will end this charade!" Audrey screamed, running at poor JenniAnn.
"NO!!! Audrey! You can't beat it out of her!!" Victor intercepted the crazy youth.
"Come on," coaxed John, "talk to her. You've known her longer than we have. If *anyone* can help, it'd be you. Now go, CALMLY!"
"Okay, come on JenniAnn. Concentrate really hard. A summer night. You were at your computer. Everyone cleared out of the chatroom except four people, remember?"
"No..."
"Okay, look at these photos. You and me when we finished the castle. Chiwawa and Chimama's wedding photos. Christmas parties. Any of it sound familiar?"
"I'm sorry. This is hopeless. Just tell everyone I went away. You all need to get ready for the party!"
"No! You've helped me write these issues for 2 years and you're going to be at that party! Just try and think of all we've accomplished:
Over the past two years we've had nearly 200 members.
We've made this castle with 100 rooms.
We've mentioned the word 'toolbelt' in 8 issues.
We've written 18 top tens.
About 70 actors have been mentioned in our newsletters!
We've written 39 rules and rights.
Of course not everything was perfect you did manage to break 5 of those." Audrey took this opportunity to glare at Victor.
"What can I say? I made for good comic relief. How funny would "Midspring" have been without me?" Victor answered back rather defensively.
"Point taken." Audrey replied.
"I remember.... I remember! Victor, you were in 9 issues! And Chiwawa was in 20! We've had 34 introductions posted! We've mentioned 8 musical groups and singers. Including Marilyn Manson. How did that happen!? We've spoofed 4 well-known works of literature! I remember!" JenniAnn cried with joy.
"She remembers!" The other 3 cried excitedly.
"What time is it?" JenniAnn asked.
"Oh, only 3:45." John answered back.
"3:45!?!? We gotta get ready!"
"See Audrey! You didn't even need the 2x4."
"Yeah, but I was kinda hoping to beat the snot out of her."
"Hey! I heard that!" shouted JenniAnn.
With that the four left the room in a mad rush.
Laughter echoed across the room as people danced, chatted, and yes, drooled over the handsome blonde man seated at the front table. The ballroom looked radiant with flowers and candles decorating the tables surrounding the dance floor. Suddenly, a ringing noise became apparent as everyone turned to see Audrey tapping her fork against her glass of juice. Everyone quickly moved to their places at the tables.
"I just wanted
to thank all of you for coming. It's been a great two years and we've
loved bringing JABB to you. Here's to many more fun filled years!"
Audrey toasted.
"I
personally think you need a better toast!" continued JenniAnn.
"Hey, I was just saying what *you* wrote for me," Audrey said with a devilish grin. After a few minutes Victor stood up and began his toast.
"Well, I just wanted to thank you all for not thinking JenniAnn was too insane when I began making appearances in this newsletter. It's been fun. You're a great group and I'll never forget my time here when I move on." Victor proceeded to explain that he would be leaving Dyeland soon to make some more movies. JenniAnn looked up sadly but yet couldn't quite forget the excitement the "new neighbor" moving into Victor's cottage would bring.
"Well, hurry up and leave!" shouted one not so enthralled party guest.
After Victor finished he too sat down. John stood up, oblivious to the scene taking place just a few feet away....
Chiwawa and Chimama sat near the main table. They had been listening to the toasts but during the brief seconds after Victor had finished Chimama turned to her husband and whispered something. Chiwawa stifled a yelp before turning back to John.
"Hi, umm, this is all overwhelming for me. I never thought I'd have a fan club. I certainly never thought I'd rescue two princesses from a dungeon or become enchanted or meet a talking dog, well two talking dogs," John turned and smiled at the Chihuahuas. "I guess life's like that though. In any case I just want to thank you -- well, all but one of you -- for being such loyal fans. I'm so glad I could have an impact on your lives. God bless!" John sat back down and everyone looked expectantly towards JenniAnn but it was Victor who tapped his glass again.
"You just toasted. Why again?" Audrey whispered questionably.
"Chiwawa told me to." He replied as he lifted the small dog up so the crowd could see him.
"Hello, I just wanted to take the chance now to thank you all for coming to my wedding a while back and for so many other kind things you've done. I know Chimama and I can count on you to help when our puppies are born." Chiwawa smiled lovingly at his wife as the entire group broke into enthusiastic cheers and Audrey and JenniAnn ran to Chimama with tears in their eyes. They cried at the wedding so you can't expect them not to now.
After she calmed down a bit JenniAnn went back to the table and began to speak.
"Wow, two years ago I don't think I would have believed we'd still be doing JABB. I've enjoyed it a lot and hope you have, too. These past two years have been something else, something I never saw myself doing but I'm glad I did. I've met a lot of friends and have cherished your comments. These years have been unforgettable." JenniAnn finished as the JABBers applauded and Audrey, Victor, and John laughed to themselves.
John stood up once more, "Congrats on a two year anniversary! I will now celebrate by dancing with each and every one of you ladies! Beginning with you!" He said as he held out his hands towards you.
