|"When you are a mother, you are
never really alone in your thoughts.
A mother always has to think twice, once for
herself and once for her child."
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and motherly ladies out
there! I hope you have a wonderful day!
In honor of the occasion, this newsletter is largely focused on
the female Dyeland characters. Enjoy!
Motherly Tropes in Dyeland
Pretty Childbirth- Does NOT happen in the Dyeland
stories... not even when it comes to Maryam
delivering Yeshua. There's pain and blood and
Have Another Baby- Andrew and JenniAnn are in this place
right now... although swapping in "adopt" for "have" makes a bit
more sense in their case. And, spoiler alert, when Avi
does come around, someone else does die. Presumably, Zeke
and Diana had that conversation, as well, but in their case it
resulted in failure to conceive until several years later when
little Manny was born.
Taking Her Home with Me- To some extent, JenniAnn tends to
feel this way towards Violeta. She certainly never
abducted Violeta who was only too happy to stay with JenniAnn
but from the moment Violeta outed herself as a mere teenager,
JenniAnn seems to have decided the angel was basically her
daughter. This sentiment went into hyper-drive when
Violeta was transformed into a little girl in "Chrysalis."
Joshua (aka Violeta's actual parent) seems to be okay with this
Love Talk- Vincent, Allison, and Robert were all more than
a little concerned about JenniAnn's burgeoning relationship to
Andrew. It fell to Catherine to be the voice of
reason. To some extent, Violeta had to plead her own case
when JenniAnn was horrified by the idea of her becoming a young
girl in order to capture a trafficker in "Chrysalis."
Legacy- Back on Beauty and the Beast, Paracelsus
tried to spin one of these on Vincent and did significant mental
damage in the process. In "Origins,"
Vincent learns that he was conceived and born as most babies
are to upstanding parents who loved each other very much.
He also gets to meet his mother, Cora, who adores him and never
wanted to be parted from him. Needless to say, Vincent
didn't "rip his away out of his mother's womb" as dastardly
Paracelsus said. Heck, I caused more trauma to my actual
mom by being a C section baby. :-)
Relationship Switcheroo- I don't believe there are any
cases of cover-ups in the Dyeland stories. It's more the
case that people discover that they're more related than they
thought they were. For example, Vincent was briefly
JenniAnn's adoptive father but then he turned out to be her
cousin by marriage and her godfather. In what I still
think is the strangest switch, Rose went from being JenniAnn's
friend and sometime-sleepover buddy to being her daughter-in-law
Friends in Law. Finally, Josef thought he was just
the temporary guardian to Daisy but learned from Joshua that he
was actually her great-great-etc. grandfather... who's now also
Abuse- So-called "honor" was likely the motive behind
Uncle forcing Isra to marry Behnam and, later, his attempted
rape of her. Behnam and Isra have abandoned all such
notions and are wonderful parents to their three little
ones. Cora's mother, Agnes, who wasn't very nice to begin
with, used her pregnancy as justification for becoming even more
verbally abusive than in the past. Not believing her
daughter had been married, Agnes also threatened to send Cora
away to give birth and give up the baby so the family wouldn't
be shamed. Cora bravely cast her mother out and gave birth
to Vincent on her own.
Our Phlebotinum Child- Violeta is this to Andrew and
JenniAnn. Joshua created her as an answer to their
Child- Of course we have the biblical era wonder children:
Yohannan, Maryam, and Yoninah. Although coming into their
family by adoption, Jacob arrived long after Catherine and
Vincent had given up on having a child. To some extent,
Manny is this although Diana and Zeke weren't that old when he
Pregnancy- Hi Maryam!
Cravings- Kemara having cravings comes up and later with
Isra, too. The example that comes to mind for me is
cottage cheese and pickle sandwiches. Ironically, the
not-pregnant me actually eats those sometimes.
Want My Mommy- While the other kids tend to be fairly
equal opportunity in going to either parent or another parental
figure for comfort, Liam seemed to prefer going to Monica, his Monny,
post-nightmare as opposed to his dad.
Parent Nomenclature Problem- While his mother had some
serious issues and didn't always treat him well, Liam loved
her. Therefore, he struggled with calling Monica "Mommy"
and instead opted for "Monny." He has no problem calling
her Mom now that he's a bit older.
Parents- Allison and Robert sometimes slip into this, most
problematically in "Shadowlands."
Granted, their daughter was in a coma after being shot so their
behavior was understandable even if it did make things even more
difficult for poor Andrew.
Parent- I have a feeling that most of the current crop of
Dyelander/Friends parents, if not all, will be this. In
one particular example, Liam gets himself all worked up about
his feelings for Belle without realizing that his parents and
hers used to joke a bit about the two getting together and
certainly aren't opposed.
Adopted- Little Daisy can now be added to the list of
Friends kids who are adopted by two parents who adore her.
Amber-Marie and Josef started as her temporary guardians but
ended up buying a house and living together as brother and
sister so the little girl could have a stable, happy life
surrounded by a loving community.
Mom and Team
Dad- In Dyeland, I think JenniAnn and Andrew are
this. In the wider Friends group, Diana and Zeke seem to
fill the roles. Catherine and Vincent are already
functioning in this capacity Below and likely will even moreso
when Father heads Home.
Belle is so much this with her mama and daddy that it's one of
her nicknames. It seems to be generational since JenniAnn
herself was a cuddlebug with Vincent and, assuredly, her
Ever After- While several of the characters have or adopt
babies, for Isolde and Marco and Mick and Beth, this is a coming
resolution to decades to centuries worth of angst. Since
vampires are sterile, it's not until post-cure that they're able
to have the babies they've long wished for.
Versus Career- Grown-up Daisy and Aiyla get into a
disagreement about this in "When
in Rome." Aiyla is disappointed that her Aunt Isolde
chose motherhood over a career. Daisy snaps back that
Isolde's choice should be honored and respected.
Complex- Woe unto you if you start down this line of
thought with any of the Friends. Emma and JenniAnn have
been particularly outspoken about this harmful
over-simplification and even Maryam finds it highly distasteful
Advice from Dyelander and Friends Moms
Diana- "Always be sure to take time for yourself! I know
it can be incredibly hard between work and family obligations
but you won't be able to accomplish anything if you wear
Catherine- "Never stop learning! I meet so many women who
weren't encouraged to pursue their interests and I've seen the
light come back into their eyes when they're given an
opportunity to read and learn."
JenniAnn- "Let your kids know how much you love their dad.
I have it on very high authority that that's important. I
think kids seeing any sort of healthy, loving relationship will
help them develop healthy, loving relationships of their own
down the road."
Kylie- "Don't be afraid to go out and enjoy an evening with your
hubby or partner. It was super hard to leave Ada-Marie for
the first time, even though I trust her Uncle Adam immensely,
but it was worth it 100%."
Raquel- "Treasure every, single moment. There's not a day
that goes by that I don't miss Dawn but that longing has
encouraged me to make the absolute most out of every visit with
my grandbabies. I can't wait until Nico and I retire and
come home to Dyeland for good so I can see them every day!"
Isra- "If your husband offers to help out... let him! It
was at first shocking to me how hands on Behnam wanted to be
with our babies but I'm so pleased with the loving, caring
relationship he has with them.
Kemara - "Don't feel like you have to do everything yourself.
When Ian and Joy were born, Sean and I agreed that we would
swallow our pride and accept help from our families and friends
- and ask for it, too! It's been one of the best decisions we
ever made. Now our children have lots of "aunts" and "uncles" to
love them, and Sean and I can take time for ourselves every now
Monica- "Coffee is your friend!"
This newsletter is dedicated to John Dye for
being a part of Mother, Mother. I was thinking
about that movie today and am still so impressed that he took
part in that project so early on in the AIDS crisis.
(Photo Credits: The
photographs used on this page are from
Touched by an Angel and owned by CBS
Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon
Water Productions. They are not being used to