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"Wouldn't It be Nice" by the Beach Boys

Unknown person 1: Okay so we just talk and this thing types for us right?

Unknown person 2: Umm yeah I think so.

Person 1: Ok well, here goes.....

Hello JABB members! This newsletter is going to be a bit different from the usual. See, JenniAnn and Aud are still trying to rest up from all the end of school/ graduation events. So we decided we'd give them a break and take over the newsletter for once. We're not exactly sure what to do.... So if you'll please just bear with us it would be greatly appreciated!


John and Victor

Okay... Top ten lists seem to be pretty popular around here so, uhh, here goes:

Top Ten Reasons John and Victor think the Co-prezes Need a Break

10. JenniAnn sat down to write JABB and instead found herself typing the characteristics of the various types of schizophrenia and various mathematic equations stuck in her brain from Senior year.

9. We found them both in front of the blank TV screen commenting on the TBAA episode they were watching.....

8. JenniAnn's teacher recently phoned Dyeland Castle asking to talk to JenniAnn. We told her she wasn't home and took the following message:

"Yes I was a little worried by JenniAnn's Literature exam. She did very well with all but a few questions that made me wonder if perhaps she was ill. Anyway, I'm emailing you some samples from her test."

We present the following questions from JenniAnn's Shakespeare exam:

1. In William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" who enchants the lovers?

JenniAnn's Answer: Kiwi the New Zealand fairy.

2. What occurs in the final scene of "Othello"?

JenniAnn's Answer: I don't know. We haven't written that one yet but we're seriously considering changing the name. I mean we don't even know an Othello! Sheesh.

Frightening? Isn't it?

7. Audrey tried to convince Chiwawa to write a research paper for her. The result? Her teachers now think she's an expert on vacation spots for dogs.....

6. Victor invited JenniAnn to one of his plays and during a very dramatic death scene JenniAnn bolted up in her seat and screamed, "Not again! Can't you just live for once!"

5. In turn as a little break John invited Audrey to the set of TBAA. She insisted upon thanking Della for her part in finding Chiwawa. Della responded with a polite "You feeling okay, baby?" Privately to John she whispered "What is wrong with that girl!?!"

4. Much to their parents' chagrine the two insisted upon writing out graduation announcements to all the Dyeland inhabitants. They did but apparently the mail people weren't quite sure where to deliver them.

John: Umm, we need three more.

Victor: Hmm, well, we'll come back let's work on something else for a while. Okay what else can we do.......

John: Hey Victor?

Victor: Yeah?

John: So those readers know how I met Audrey and JenniAnn but how did you meet them?

Victor: Hmmm.... well I guess this is a good a time as any to tell. The truth of it is I've been here a lot longer than anyone has known. I was going to be introduced months ago. With a trial.....

I guess JenniAnn got a little bored during the summer. Even ruling Dyeland and writing newsletters weren't keeping her busy enough. So she decided to take a vacation to the Southern most part of Dyeland where there was a lovely little resort. But she got lost and ended up going North, who knows how. In any case, I was up there taking a break for a while in my cabin. I guess she'd been walking around for quite some time. Probably confused about why she couldn't find the resort. So about 9 she knocked on my door. I knew right away who she was. I mean news about kidnappings and dramatic rescues by TV stars gets around pretty fast in a magic kingdom. It seems I'd even been mentioned in the newsletters. Anyway, so I found JenniAnn standing at my door. So like any self respecting, wonderful, polite actor-turned-JABB fantasy I welcomed her in.

We had a nice chat. Anyway, she stayed for a bit until I magically transported her back home (I can do that because this is my story). Anyway, I guess I made an impression because next thing I heard the poor girl was on trial for impeachment!

John: No way! I didn't even know about this!

Victor: Oh yeah! I guess *some people* thought she was disloyal to you and should be removed from her office as co-president. In any case I was called to testify but that story line was quickly decided to be too boring so it was dropped. So JenniAnn stayed with JABB, I seemed to get pulled into the group and here we are today! And that's my story!

John: Hmmm... Well, I'm glad things worked out. Just between you and me I don't think I could handle being the only guy running around with the two of them for much longer. I mean enchanted forests?

Victor: (laughing) Yeah, that was something else! Well, this still doesn't seem as long as their issues..... What else can we do?

John: Victor?

Victor: Yeah?

John: There any way to turn that type thing off?

Victor: I would suppose so...... Umm hold on... Okay I think it's off. What did you want to say?

John: Well, first, ummm, you know I really do adore spending time with JenniAnn and Audrey. I mean it's really fun but do you think ummm...

Victor: Yes, they're wonderful but totally insane.

John: Well, I wouldn't put it exactly like that.....

Victor: Why not? No one else can hear us.

John: That's true.

Victor: So what's your favorite insane memory?

John: Hmmm. Well, having a talking chihuahua showing up at your door telling you you have to go rescue two princesses is awfully strange. How about you?

Victor: Well, since I haven't been quite as involved as you I don't actually have many stories. But you know the Midspring issue? Did that really happen? I mean I remember waking up in some side room in the castle but.....

John: You'd be surprised what they manage to pull off.

Victor: Wow. Well, I do have a couple more.

John: Yep?

Victor: That whole thing during my play was pretty scary. Thank goodness it was a dress rehearsal. Then there was something else.....

John: Yeah?

Victor: A couple weeks ago JenniAnn and I went shopping.

John: You went shopping with her!?!? Are you crazy!?!? Let me guess she drove you insane with the dress thing?

Victor: The dress thing?

John: Yeah "This one's too short.", "This one's too dark.", etc. Never actually witnessed it but her mom told me it's enough to put a person in an institute.

Victor: No, no not a dress thing. I only went cause she was moping around the castle saying she needed to go shopping and couldn't drive and her parents had to leave and Audrey was gone. So I volunteered to drive her to the store. Then I decided to go in too cause I needed to get some props for a play. Anyway, a few minutes later she comes running up to me and guess what she had that "had called out to her from the rack?"

John: No clue.

Victor: A baby tee-shirt with the Superman logo on it!!!!!!

John: Umm, yeah that's great.

Victor: No, see I wore a mock Superman shirt for my first movie. Once, I dropped her off she immediately proceeded to the VCR and watched the movie. I lost count after the 15th run of "God Save the People"......

John: Good gosh. That's close to breaking her "The Journalist" record.

Victor: (laughing) Yeah, I think so. Hey, we should probably stop now I think I hear Audrey and JenniAnn coming.

John: Okay, let's hurry!

(sound of receeding footsteps.)

Audrey: Wow, that was a great movie.

JenniAnn: Definitely, I loved the part where the guy and the girl were reunited and then.... hey what's this?

Audrey: Hmm, looks like someone was writing an email but forgot to send it.

JenniAnn: Well, I don't see any harm in sending it for them.


Newsletter 48