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To all J.A.B.B. members: I stumbled upon these e-mails between your co-presidents. I thought you might like to know what they've been plotting. I found it very upsetting, as I'm sure you will too. I'm sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but someone had to. May J.A.B.B. live on, even if they abandon us.


A concerned J.A.B.B. member.

Hey Jenni, have you seen Tommy Ergo Life? He's so hot! He puts John to shame in a heartbeat! I say we blow this joint and start after him! Who's John Dye anyway?! Just some freak who thinks he's an angel cause he plays one on T.V. But Tommy, now there's a man!! He's so gorgeous and beautiful! I can't help but be trapped by his amazing blue eyes. I think we should start producing T.E.L.I.S.M.B.T.J.D. (Tommy Ergo Life Is So Much Better Than John Dye) and ditch this J.A.B.B. crap. Forget buckets of drool, with Tommy, it's a river! Did you see him in Father, Father Oh, what a great movie!!! Almost as good as Campus Stud, but not nearly up to par as The Best of the Duds was. Anyway, let me know what you think, OK!?

Have I seen him?!?!? Aud! You can't help but notice the man! He's more amazing than John and V put together! I'd love to start T.E.L.I.S.M.B.T.J.D. with you! I loved Father, Father! Nothing could ever beat Cherokee City, though! You know? I always told people I wasn't actually in love with JD or V since I didn't believe I could be in love with someone I didn't know. I am so in love with Tommy, though! You know what the first thing I saw Tommy in was? The YY Bottom video "Dreaming Purse." He was so cute! I almost died right there in front of the TV! So.... Yeah, I don't think I can do J.A.B.B. any more. I mean Tommy takes up a lot of my time. In fact... I have a long weekend next week so I got a pair of plane tickets to go try and meet Tommy! You wanna come?

Wanna come? Honey, your limo or mine? With this man, we shall spare NO expense!! You saw that video! Oh I loved that! It's amazing what this man can do with his body! But I think his best television appearance was on "Line of Work". Oh, he was on the "Review" yesterday, did you see? I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die when I saw him get his eyebrow pierced! But it really did make him look hot!!! I can't wait to meet him now!! Oh my God!! I'll be so freaked out! You'll have to keep me sane, -K-??

::write back ASAP::

Hey, you'll have to keep me sane, too! This is so cool! So what are you gonna wear when we go meet him? Should we bring him a gift? Oh my gosh!!!!! AHHH!!!! Turn on ET! He's on right now! Oh my gosh! AHH!!!!! He's wearing jeans!!!!!

Check it out! He's got that swade jacket on!! Oh, what I could do with him! Hey, how about a top ten for our Tommy about what we like best about him.

1. That soft brown hair

2. Those deep green eyes

3. Those jeans!

4. Those piercings *They're such a turn on!*

5. That sexy voice

You're up!


6. His singing voice is amazing.

7. He has an amazing sense of style

8. Rumba, waltz, jitter bug, he does it all!

9. He's into charity

10. He's just so cool beyond words!!!

I'm in love with Tommy Ergo Life!!!! Mrs. Jenni Life. Yep! Definately sounds good to me!

Very true!!! John Dye get a Life!!! I know I want too!!