is the most powerful weapon which you can use to
change the world."
So this issue is short because, well, I'm writing a
story. But I swear it's a short one this time.
;-) Nonetheless, I did wanna have a lil back-to-school
fun so I hope you enjoy!
I'm not sure if many of our current members
have ever wandered over to Ye Olde Map
of Dyeland but if so, I'm sure you've noticed lots of outdated buildings designed for
members who are no longer with us. In addition,
there's a lack of realism and maturity to it that's really
no longer part of the Dyeland stories. Nonetheless,
I'm something of an archivist by nature so I can never bring myself to delete...
only to add on. Recently, Androoler University caught
my eye. It's not very practical. Surely no
degrees or credits there would carry any weight back on
Earth. And if any of the Dyelanders really wanted an
education, the Tunnels seem a much better option. And
the name... Poor Andrew should not have to blush every
time the local school gets mentioned. But, like I
said, I have trouble deleting. I have no trouble
reimagining, however! So I got to thinking that AU was
probably more like a community learning center than a formal
school. They'd probably have classes specific to their
group of friends. But just what would those classes
be? Maybe there'd be sessions like these... Cooking with Substance
Course description: Do you enjoy meat but find yourself
feeling guilty for the slaughter of majestic birds like the
humble turkey? Well now you can enjoy the tastiness of
poultry without the guilt! Join Adam as he teaches you
how to cook with turkey-like substance (commonly known as TLS)
and its offshoots: chicken-like substance, beef-like
substance, and pork-like substance. Cooking with
seafood-like substance will be added to the curriculum in time
Level of difficulty: Easy/Medium
Reviews: "I fed my family TLS for Thanksgiving last year after
attending this class. No one suspected anything
amiss! Adam is tons of fun, too!"
"Luscious food courtesy of Luscious. How much better can
it get?" How to Make Recycled
Jewelry and Accessories
Instructors: JenniAnn and Violeta
Course description: Turn paper clips into rings! Form
stunning barrettes out of coffee filters! Make erasers
into earrings! Craft beads out of newspapers and used
wrapping paper! The possibilities are endless... and
pretty! And green! Reduce, reuse, and recycle,
Level of difficulty: Easy. And cheap. Really
Reviews: "Tons of fun! Although one instructor gets
misty-eyed every time we use paper clips and the other is
bizarrely secretive about where she obtains the hair sticks we
decorate in class."
"Best ring ever."
Brow Raising for Beginners
Course description: You've seen him do it before. You've
even swooned over it. Now you can get tips from Andrew
himself about how to put your own eye brows to work!
Coursework includes mastering the "amused double eye brow
lift", the "I am in the presence of a cretin and can't believe
they're such a cretin single brow lift", the "I'm
handsome/beautiful and know it tease lift", and many
Level of difficulty: Difficult. (From a prior student:
"Hard to focus on own eye brows when Andrew's are so
glorious... well worth the time, though!")
Reviews: "How the heck does he do that?!? Does he have
extra musculature in his eye brows or something!?"
"I love him..."
Be Your Own Barista
Course description: Learn how to prepare the perfect cup
of java! Heaven's biggest fan of coffee won't
steer you wrong as she teaches you how to make espresso,
cappuccino, mocha, macchiatto, doppio, lattes, and so
much more! You'll also be given a history of
caffeine dating back to that time Eve made Adam a dirty
chai in apology for the whole forbidden fruit thing...
or something like that.
Level of difficulty: Easy to Difficult depending on
beverage and caffeine drunkenness at the time the recipe
Reviews: "I LOVE COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE!
"Miss Wings has really gone too far. Andrew, why
are you letting her do this?"
Quidditch for Muggles
Instructors: Rose and Max
Course description: You'll be assigned to one of four teams
and be given the role of Seeker, Chaser, Keeper, or
Beater. Bring your broomstick and come hunt for the
Snitch with us! Advanced classes to follow.
Level of difficulty: Just plain Harry Potter fun!
Reviews: "Tons of fun even if we can't fly. The
instructors are so cute together, too!"
"I would take this class again and again. Actually, I
would take it... wait for it... always."
Course description: One of Heaven's most glorious
songbirds will help YOU find your voice! Learn
about pitch, timbre, annunciation, and how not to deafen
your friends at the next Karaoke Night or round of
Spin-the-Bottle: Dyeland Style.
Level of difficulty: Medium to Difficult... depending on
Reviews: "The instructor is kind of intimidating.
Nice... but intimidating. I love it when she
"I enjoyed being in the class but still sound
awful. As Tess said, she's a teacher... not a
miracle worker. But at least I can make a joyful
noise!" Fencing with Andrew Instructor: Andrew
Course description: Learn how to install and tend to the
upkeep of fences.
Level of difficulty: Medium
Reviews: "I failed to read the class description and
thought I'd be watching Andrew run around with a sword,
all dressed in white. That's not what this
is. But then he put on the tool belt and adios
"My favorite part was when we took a field trip to
Andrew's house and he told us that just because he was
installing a fence didn't mean we should be strangers...
just that he needed something for the ivy and wisteria
to climb up... and to put Christmas lights on!
He's so lovely..."
Sigh... wouldn't that be nice?
I'm going to teach! Barely. ;-)
So a very long time ago, we actually offered a
gingerbread recipe because of all those Gingerbread
Andrews that would pop up in newsletters. But I
don't think we've done any recipes since. I take
that back. At some point I think maybe someone
put in a Banana Split Cake recipe. But I'm not
even sure about that. Thus, I am going to
attempt... every so often... to throw in an Andrew,
JABB, or TBAA themed recipe. I might even think
up something connected to other John Dye roles.
But right now I present the oh-so-easy recipe for...
Red Velvet Cake
When next you receive a
newsletter, it'll be in celebration of Andrew's Observed
Birthday. And what better way to celebrate our
beloved AOD's birthday than with a yummy serving of sweet dip inspired
by Andrew's favorite cake? In keeping with the
back-to-school theme, this would also be really good for
a lil after-school snack. All you need is:
1 package of red velvet
cake mix (I used Duncan Hines because it was all the
store had. I worked great and was delicious but
likely other brands would be good, too.)
2 of those single
serving cups of vanilla or french vanilla yogurt (I
used Yoplait though same disclaimer as above.)
1 eight ounce tub of
light whipped topping (Cool Whip or similar... and the
light is totally fine. Trust me, it'll be plenty
decadent enough without going for the original.)
An assortment of
cookies or whatnot.
Put the cake mix,
yogurt, and whipped topping in a large bowl and mix
thoroughly. (Do NOT follow the directions for
making the cake like throwing in eggs and oil and
such. You only need the mix itself.) Once
you've done that, it's instantly ready to eat although I
prefer mine to sit in the fridge for a while and
chill. I then dip graham crackers, vanilla wafers,
animal crackers, shortbread, or similar in the
dip. It's really good and because of the yogurt
and lowfat topping, relatively healthy... well,
depending on what cookies you use. I also use the
dip as frosting sometimes like on a plain doughnut or
sweet bagel in lieu of cream cheese. It also
tastes great as a fruit dip.
I've made this same
recipe with various cake mixes, including lemon which
was so good. So the possibilities are limited only
by what mixes you can get. Enjoy!
If you have a recipe you'd like to share that ties into
TBAA, JABB, or John's other work; please let me
know. I'd love to include it. I think it'd
be great to have JABB become a lil more useful. At
This newsletter is dedicated to
the broadening of my culinary horizons thanks to
John's work. Without John, I likely would never
have tasted collard greens or grits or sweet potatoes
or okra. While this hasn't always been great...
cue the french fry eating blitz after "Have You Seen
Me?" (yes, I'd had french fries before but seeing
Andrew eat them just made me want them... a lot...) at
other times it has been awesome (frappuccinos...
introduced to me by Andrew in "Random Acts"). I
think fondly of him whenever I sip a ginger ale or
sarsaparilla. And I also think of him whenever I
get food poisoning (thanks, Doc Hock!) but it's
probably best to focus on the positives... like red
velvet stuff. :-)