“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand
and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” ~~Edith Sitwell

Hi all!

One of these years I'm going to remember to start pacing these out correctly in November so the annual Christmas story lands appropriately without my having to cram 3 newsletters into December.  But did that happen this year?  No...  No, it did not.  ;-)  So enjoy this brief Q and A while I work on the *real* Christmas issue. 

Hope you're having a blessed holiday season!

God bless,

Ask a Stupid Holiday Question, Get a Stupid Holiday Answer
(Possibly Volume II... or maybe III... I don't really know!)

Question: Is Andrew secretly the Little Drummer Boy?

Answer: Yep.  God shrunk him just so we could have a Christmas carol that would allow us to sing "ba-rump-a-bum-bum" repeatedly.

Question: So I leave teeth for the Tooth Fairy and cookies for Santa... what do I need to leave to get Andrew to stop by?

Answer: If I knew that do you think I'd be sitting here answering stupid questions?  Regrettably, leaving orange juice and ginger ale does not work.  :-(

Question: Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Andrew walk into a bar... what happens next?

Answer: Hopefully you put down your drink and call a cab.

Question: My local bank has a nativity scene on the roof.  The angel doesn't look anything like Andrew.  I think it should.  Do I call and complain?

Answer: Nope.  The angel should NOT look like Andrew.  For one, we have no idea if Andrew was present at the birth of Jesus.  For another, do you want to be responsible for causing accidents because people are gawking at the stunning handsomeness of Christmas light Andrew?

Question: Can I have a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas?

Answer: No.  You'll shoot your eye out.  And that would make Andrew very sad.

Question: If Andrew were one of Santa's elves, what would his name be?

Answer: Studly Awesomeness... the Elf

Question: Can Santa bring me Andrew for Christmas?

Answer: Nope.  They can't both fit down the chimney at once.  Take your pick.

Question: Does Andrew know Buddy the Elf?

Answer: Yes, they play racquetball every Tuesday at 11 AM.

Question: Okay, does he know Rudolph?

Answer: Yes...  But they don't talk much since that deer developed an attitude after someone said Andrew's beautiful eyes were brighter than Rudy's nose. 

Question: Some people want hippopotami for Christmas, others want their two front teeth.  What does Andrew want?

Answer: Peace on earth and goodwill to all men, women, and children.  Also membership in a jam of the month club.  Dude loves his preserves.

Question: Does Andrew like fruit cake?

Answer: Yes.  He and Adam use them as footballs when the real deal is unavailable.
Question: Which would Andrew rather be: a snowman or an elf?

Answer: Definitely elf.  He doesn't wanna melt when people hug him!  He's totally come to accept that they'll melt when they hug him, though.  Sigh...

This newsletter is dedicated to John's ability to so wear a hat.  Yes, I know that sounds pretty surface-y.  But right now John in a hat is making me feel happy.  So yay!


JABB 372

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)