“Winter is the time for
comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a
and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for
home.” ~~Edith Sitwell
One of these years I'm going to remember to start pacing
these out correctly in November so the annual Christmas
story lands appropriately without my having to cram 3
newsletters into December. But did that happen this
year? No... No, it did not. ;-) So
enjoy this brief Q and A while I work on the *real*
Hope you're having a blessed holiday season!
Ask a Stupid Holiday Question, Get a
Stupid Holiday Answer
(Possibly Volume II... or maybe III... I don't
Question: Is Andrew secretly the Little Drummer Boy?
Answer: Yep. God shrunk him
just so we could have a Christmas carol that would allow
us to sing "ba-rump-a-bum-bum" repeatedly.
Question: So I leave teeth for the Tooth Fairy and cookies
for Santa... what do I need to leave to get Andrew to stop
Answer: If I knew that do you think
I'd be sitting here answering stupid questions?
Regrettably, leaving orange juice and ginger ale does not
Question: Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Andrew walk into a
bar... what happens next?
Answer: Hopefully you put down your
drink and call a cab.
Question: My local bank has a nativity scene on the
roof. The angel doesn't look anything like
Andrew. I think it should. Do I call and
Answer: Nope. The angel should
NOT look like Andrew. For one, we have no idea if
Andrew was present at the birth of Jesus. For
another, do you want to be responsible for causing
accidents because people are gawking at the stunning
handsomeness of Christmas light Andrew?
Question: Can I have a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas?
Answer: No. You'll shoot your
eye out. And that would make Andrew very sad.
Question: If Andrew were one of Santa's elves, what would
his name be?
Answer: Studly Awesomeness... the Elf
Question: Can Santa bring me Andrew for Christmas?
Answer: Nope. They can't both
fit down the chimney at once. Take your pick.
Question: Does Andrew know Buddy the Elf?
Answer: Yes, they play racquetball
every Tuesday at 11 AM.
Question: Okay, does he know Rudolph?
Answer: Yes... But they don't
talk much since that deer developed an attitude after
someone said Andrew's beautiful eyes were brighter than
Question: Some people want hippopotami for Christmas, others
want their two front teeth. What does Andrew want?
Answer: Peace on earth and goodwill to
all men, women, and children. Also membership in a
jam of the month club. Dude loves his preserves.
Andrew like fruit cake?
Answer: Yes. He and
Adam use them as footballs when the real deal
Question: Which would Andrew rather be: a snowman or an elf?
Answer: Definitely elf. He
doesn't wanna melt when people hug him! He's totally
come to accept that they'll melt when they hug him,
newsletter is dedicated to John's ability to so wear a
hat. Yes, I know that sounds pretty surface-y.
But right now John in a hat is making me feel happy.
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are
from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions,
Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.
They are not being used to seek profit.)