“Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal.”
~~Martin Luther King Jr.
Hi all,

Okay... I'm trying something here.  As you're no doubt aware, JABB has always been very Andrew-centric.  It's simply much easier for me to write about Andrew than any other John character.  We have more material involving him than any other character, there's just so much a writer can do with him, more JABB members know about him than any other character, and... he's fictional.  While the tributes to John that we've written here over the years are among my favorites, it simply wasn't sustainable to write about John every two weeks.  I never really knew the extent of his awareness of JABB so I'd just get too hung up worrying about whether he might see something and feel like we were wanting to pry or set up expectations for him.  Thus, I largely steered JABB towards John's fictional personas.  I still think this was the best course of action... but I do wish there was more coverage of John's roles outside of Andrew.  So... I'm gonna try to branch out some.  It's hard for me to have much of a sense of humor about Doc Hock... but I can try.  Here I go...

God bless,
Jenni

Now... I love Doc Hock.  But the dude maybe wasn't the most creative soul out there.  In the episode "Dead Man Tales," our favorite medic ponders what exactly he's supposed to do with the cooked duck head he was given during dinner with the family of a girl he was smitten with.  Well, I wish he'd been able to ask me cause I have the...


Top Ten Uses for a Duck Head
10. Greatest white elephant gift ever!!!

9.  Fun toy for Doc's little baboon buddy!  I wish Doc had gotten to keep him instead...  Doc sorely needed a pet.  Sigh...

8.  Use it to boost morale.  Whenever the men started complaining about the icky food, Doc coulda pulled that out and said "Well, at least we're not eating this."  That just mighta silenced the grumbles... for a bit.

7.  Doc could have sent a photo of his totally awesome prize to that no-good, cheating girlfriend of his with a note reading "Forget about you!  I've found someone else and look what her daddy gave me!  Ha!  I bet your new boyfriend doesn't have one of these!"  Actually... maybe not...

6.  Regale the rest of Team Viking with nighttime shadow puppet shows featuring Morty the Decapitated Duck!  Endless hours of entertainment!

5.  Doc could have had his intense political discussions with Morty.  It would have kept the rest of the guys from being annoyed with him... and just may have gotten him sent home as I'm not sure talking to food with eyes would really make the Army comfortable with his sanity.

4.  Turn it into a smashing pendant to be strung on his love beads!  Nothing says free love like dead poultry.

3.  Bronze it and put it on the top of a cane...  Doc would have looked super-fly with his new accessory.  Get him a big, brightly colored hat and he'd look like he belonged in the red light district.  Might as well blend in when he's doling out all those inoculations! 

2.  Make the barracks more homey by tacking the duck head to the wall for a unique and whimsical coat hook.

1.  Doc was pretty creative with the whole Vietnam-themed Monopoly board game he created for Purcell.  Why stop there?  When he's not using Morty as a cane, he could flip it upside down and embark on an exciting game of golf.  Who needs a 9-iron when ya got a duck head???
Signs You've Been Watching Too Much Tour of Duty
~ You've taken to referring to your supervisor/boss as "Sarge."

~ HR called you in for a talk after you consistently referred to the newest employee as "the newbie" and, worse yet, "the FNG."

~ You got really thrown when Doc Hock started glowing... and it took you a while to remember you'd switched to the TBAA DVDs.

~ Your housemate freaked out because you painted a huge peace sign on the driveway...

~ In true Pavlovian fashion, you've burst into tears upon seeing a normally mustached man without his furry lip.

~ You shudder whenever you hear the words "sweet and sour pork."

~ You refer to the Rolling Stones as "those guys who performed the Tour of Duty theme song."

~ When asked what your favorite Christmas carol is you blurt out "John Dye singing 'Jingle Bells'!" even though, sadly, we only heard a small portion.  Sigh...

~ You quote Pop-Eye the Sailorman and you're not even a fan.

~ You refer to your house as your hooch.

~ You've ever glimpsed someone moving a bed and immediately developed chills...  (Was John crazy-amazing and heartbreaking in that scene or what!?)

~ You now think wearing multiple hippie necklaces and a leather strap around your head are the height of fashion.

~ Thanksgiving just isn't complete until you've heard John-as-Doc do his turkey impression.

 And thus ends JABB's first ever exclusively Doc Hock-themed issue, I think.  It was kinda hard to do but maybe I'm on to something...

Though John never had children, I'd like to especially remember him today on Father's Day.  There are many children out there without fathers to exemplify the Father in Heaven and make them comfortable with the idea of Him.  Then there are the children of all ages who may have great fathers but maybe just don't really discuss the big issues of life, death, and faith with their dads.  John helped fill those gaps.  As Andrew, he gave us a glimpse of what the unconditional love of our heavenly Father is like.  Through that role and several others, he also made us look closely at the big questions and seek the important answers.  Happy Father's Day, John.  Your children number the stars.

JABB TOC

JABB 358

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