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"The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies"

Hello everyone! Welcome to the first of our two holiday JABBs. We hope you enjoy this issue! Good luck to all of you dealing with finals and other pre-holiday stressful activities. May you find time to just sit back and enjoy the season and maybe even watch a few episodes of TBAA.

Happy Holidays,

Audrey and Jenni

Yes, Carolina, There is a John Dye

Dear JABB:

My friends and I were talking about our various crushes and I mentioned John Dye. They said they'd never heard of the man and after I listed all his excellent qualities they said such a man did not exist. So have I been hallucinating all these years? Is there really no John Dye?


Dear Carolina:

Your friends are mistaken. They do not believe what they do not see. Therefore, you must show them no less than 10 hours of Touched by an Angel. But, alas, the most real things are those that are not seen by our own eyes. We may never see John Dye face-to-face. But to not believe in him! You might as well not believe that Sean Connery, Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, James Spader, Patrick Stewart, Harrison Ford, Andy Garcia, Gabriel Byrne, Christian Slater, Adian Quinn, Ben Bass, Denzel Washington, Pierce Brosnan, Alex Baldwin, Roger Moore, Frank N Furter, Keanu Reeves, Mel Gibson, Patrick Swayze, Tim Curry, Leslie Nielsen, Robin Williams, Howie Mandel, Anthony Hopkins, Chuck Norris, Kevin Sorbo, Christian Bale, Victor Garber, Chris Penn, Eric Roberts, Hugh Grant, Robert DeNiro, Alan Autry, A Martinez, Kevin Costner, Charlie Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland, Val Kilmer, Tim Allen, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Jeff and Beau Bridges, Michael Douglas, Liam Neeson, Fredie Prinze Jr., John Travolta, Sam Neil, Jeff Goldblum, Ingo Redenbaucher, Ray Liotta, Wil Smith, Aussie, Kyle Chandler** exist!

Have we ever seen any of these men acting/singing/dancing out on our lawn? Of course not! But does that mean they don't exist?!?! No!

So yes, Carolina, John Dye does exist! And thank goodness he does! For without him where would we be on that special hour on Sunday nights? Who would be there to make us drool?

No John Dye! Thank God he lives! And may he live on for years! (For as Sam said in "The Journalist" television waves can be floating around the universe for years to come.) And may John continue to make glad the hearts of Androolers every where!

** The actors named were mentioned by various JABB members as being other favorite actors. My apologies if their are any spelling errors. With such an enormous list I couldn't find the time to check them all.

The Journey

The story you are about to read is one of mystery and excitement. It takes place in a land that no one seems to remember. It was a land of greatness and topsy-turvy. In this place, the North Pole was in the south and the South Pole, the north. Children lived in wonder, bewilderment, and awe. The world was filled with greatness, and perhaps that is why no one chooses to remember it now: they are not willing to accept that the greater place they've always imagined did in fact exist. Still, in this wondrous world there lived two young J.A.B.B.ers with their J.A.B.B. master, a young Irish woman by the name of Acinom. As in present time, the people of this great world dreamed only of a better one. These two J.A.B.B.ers decided one day to leave their great J.A.B.B. master and look for a marvelous man who could make all their dreams come true, or so they had been told. Werdna was rumored to be the greatest being to have lived. These two young girls set off on a path in the forest singing; "Over the river and through the woods to Werdna's house we go!" (And you thought it was a modern day classic!) The woods were dark, but they keep up their pace hoping to find a clearing soon. They assumed nothing could go wrong on a journey such as theirs, but soon they'd see what fate had in store.

As the two youngsters began their journey, doubts, though dim, appeared in the depths of their mind.

"What if we get there and this Werdna isn't who we hoped? Or can't live up to his reputation? Or worse yet, doesn't even exist? Then we may be stranded there and have no way of getting back. What would we do then?" questioned Innej, not but 71 years of age (hey, in this land, 71 is still but an infant!)

"Don't worry. Have faith that we can make it and all will work out," answered Yerdua. "Besides, I'm going to leave a trail of angel dust behind so we can find our way home. This way, even if it's night, it'll still light the path home."

As the two J.A.B.B.ers walked through the dark woods, they began dropping tiny little stars behind them on their path. As the night grew darker, the glowing dust lighted the trail behind them. They walked all though the scorching, December night. As dawn broke and the heat began to fade, a small house could be seen under the hills.

"LOOK!" screamed Innej. "That's got to be Werdna's house. It has to be!"

As they approached the inviting home, they noticed something unusual. The house was not like the rest of the world. It was not made out of candy as their old city had been. It didn't have candy cakes holding up a gram cracker roof or chocolate syrup running through straw gutters. This place was in deed weird.

"I'm afraid," muttered Yerdua over her breath to her exhausted counterpart. "This place is like no others. Why, you'd starve to death in this home! How can they possibly say that this person could help make all our dreams come true? How can he possibly be able to show us, much less tell us of a greater place when he can't even make use of the stuff we have here?!"

"Well," Innej spit out, "it can't hurt to ask. Let's go!"

So the two girls went up to the mysterious house and knocked on the door. They were taken aghast by the handsome man whom they saw when the door opened.

"Can I help you," inquired the breathtaking man.

"Yes," Innej said in a quiet, shy voice. "We're looking for a man by the name of 'Werdna' to help us make all our dreams come true."

"I see," answered the mysterious man. "What exactly is your dream?"

"Well," Yerdua began, "we're hoping to find a better place than this. All the stories we've ever read go on and on about great fairy tale places that we can only dream of. I want to go to such a place and live in eternal happiness."

"Such a place does exist," answered the stranger, but nothing more was said. Silence filled the air and fell heavily to the ground as the weight of all that silver became too heavy to float. (What were you expecting? It's not like silence is golden!)

"Umm. Can you tell us how to find this place?" ask Innej.

A becoming smile appeared on the man's face as a look of enlightenment fell under him. "There is a journey that you must take in order to find this place. For some the journey is long and strenuous, for others it is short and sweet. However, for you two, I will make an exception and accompany you on a special journey that you can tell no one else about."

The two girls, now speechless, simply nodded their heads and followed Werdna.

To be continued in JABB 36.......


Newsletter 36