Sigh/swoon...
Okay. So the first JABB of the year also often
includes something about New Year's festivities. JABB
317 did. And so handling that, too, is a
"first." I'll be honest and say that I was really
ambivalent about moving into 2012. On one hand, 2011
was so painful for many of us on many different fronts so
saying good bye to it seemed like a really, really good
prospect. On the other... I couldn't quite get it
outta my head that for 9 days of 2011 John was on this earth
just as he was for every year I've ever known. 2011
may have... well, sucked. But at least John was around
for a bit of it. I was a little scared about entering
a new year without him. I know it was goofy as for 13
New Year Eves and Days I had no clue John was out there and
I managed. But you can't help what you feel.
Thankfully, the better angel of my nature prevailed and told
me "Ya know... actually he's more around for 2012 than ever
before!" And I believe with all my heart this is
true. It doesn't mean, however, that it will always be
easy to remember. So! I created the list
below. Some entries are goofy. Some are
serious. I figured the mix was appropriate as John
could both crack us up and comfort us. I hope you'll
join me in...
Ways to Carry John
Into the New Year
1. Every so often,
do something to make John laugh. True, we don't know
for sure what those in Heaven know about those of us on
Earth. But I believe God lets em see and hear from
us. And since John no doubt gave you the giggles on
occasion, try to return the favor! For example, spend
a day dressed as his filmography. Go ahead!
Totally wear those Converses (Todd) with a beige tunic and
bell bottoms (Doc Hock) with a pocket watch (Andrew) and
delightful pink and green earrings (Skip) while finishing
the outfit with an unseasonable Santa hat (Bill).
Bonus points to you if you wear a light pink bodysuit under
this all. ;-) Sing to him. Loudly and
obnoxiously if you must. I mean who wouldn't be amused
by someone rocking out to "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" for
them??? If your family members grow concerned, feel
free to have them call me for explanation. You just
may need to return the favor some day. ;-)
2. Join us over on Pay
It Forward in Memory of John Dye and start out the new
year by writing a tribute for John, performing a random act
of kindness in honor of his approaching birthday, or
contribute ideas on how to do the same.
3. A
while back, I printed off John's quote: "There are
possibilities for goodness in a world that's very filled
with turmoil," and stuck it to my bathroom mirror.
Now every morning and every night, I see it and can
reflect. Consider doing the same with a John-related
quote that is meaningful for you.
4. Use viewings of John's shows and movies as rewards
for making progress on your resolutions. Just went a
day without picking up a cigarette? You get to watch
"The Journalist"! Just spent an hour on the
treadmill? I see a certain wily calendar maker in your
future!
5. Write to him. Start a journal with all you
wished you could have said to John. I often think of
that part in TOTGA where Mark realizes that all those
letters he sent to Doug never reached him. But Monica
assures him that Doug was actually closer than he
realized. It's true. Speak from your
heart. John will hear.
6. Toast him regularly. Just don't get carried
away. I think it'd be best if the things you do to
make him laugh as mentioned in #1 be performed whilst
sober. ;-)
7. Keep praying
for John's family and all who love him. Prayer makes
us all so close as it unites us in God's love.
8. Bake a cake for John's birthday or other special
days when you wish you could bake for him. Then give
it to someone else you think would appreciate it.
9. Keep talking with your fellow fans. It can be
healing as you realize you're not alone. Plus, it's
just plain fun. I mean how many other people are gonna
fully understand why you just had to wander into the men's
department and look at flannel shirts you had no intention
of buying? Or why you are willing to special order
yellow Converses... Or know who Larry the Lycra Man
is...
10. Have fun! By all accounts, John enjoyed his
life. Follow his lead. Smile more. Have
parties. Use the good place settings. Be a
goofball. Go for a walk somewhere beautiful.
11. Do good. Pick up some extra items to donate
when you shop. Compliment someone. Assure
someone who is distressed that God loves them. Then
thank the man who reminded you of that very fact countless
times.
12. During this year and all years yet to come,
remember what John told us as Andrew: "I want you to know
there's nothing... nothing to be afraid of. On one
side, there's life. And on the other...there's life,
too." There will be difficult days ahead, even as we
put aside the "firsts." But this is only one
melancholy stretch in what will be a really wonderful
eternity... a life even more amazing than this one. So
if it helps you... plan for that future. Still enjoy
today. Don't spoil your life here on this earth by
spending all your time wishing for Heaven. But it's
okay to imagine. Just as it's enjoyable to daydream
about a really great vacation you may be taking in the
future, it can be a lot of fun to daydream about
Heaven. So do that. And know that one day we'll
all have one really great party there. And the best
part? We can have all the chocolate! Okay,
okay. So that's not anywhere close to the best
part. But it's definitely a perk. ;-)
So since this is the
"last of the firsts" as far as JABB newsletters go, I just
wanted to say something before closing. Thank you to
all of you. Those first days were challenging in ways
I never could have imagined. Honestly, there were
times I really just wanted to end JABB. It was too
painful. What was the point? The web site itself
was filled with what seemed liked countless emotional
minefields. But I heard from many of you saying that
you wanted JABB to continue. And some of you even
joined up after John's death. Your encouragement and
the realization that ceasing JABB because John was in Heaven
made about as much sense as a singer not performing cause
the dude she wrote every song on her album for might
actually hear it... well, those were what I needed to keep
this place going and I am so, so glad I did and so grateful
to all of you. Many thanks and God bless you all.
Finally, this newsletter is dedicated to John's shoes.
Yes, I know that sounds goofy but it's simply true that this
all began, at least for me, with a shot of a pair of
shoes. While I may have hated those loafers, I could
never hate all the places they and so many other pairs of
shoes carried John. In his life and in his work, he
touched and encouraged people wherever he roamed. We
will never, ever forget that and I hope it inspires us as we
do our own walking in the world.
JABB
TOC
JABB
346
(Photo
Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched
by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions; Campus Man and
owned by RKO Pictures; and "Promised Land" and owned by CBS
Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)