“Truth is, I wouldn't know a gigabyte from a snakebite.”
~~Dolly Parton

Hi all,

As many of you know, my computer (Ebendrew) crashed last weekend.  Thankfully, a tech guy got it back up and running but it majorly cut into my newsletter-creating time as I frantically did back-up in case Ebendrew went bye-bye again.  So... this is very thrown together and short.  But it's the first newsletter written on Serendipity, my laptop.  So that's kinda cool!  I believe I have now written JABB on five or so different puters during its 13 years.  (Which means informing 5 different Spell Checks that "Dyelander" and "JABBer" *are* words.)

Unfortunately, I think there may have been some issues with the transfer of my address book from Ebendrew.  So if you receive this at an email address other than your preferred one please let me know.  Ditto if you received the newsletter at two different accounts and now only receive it at one.  Thank you for your understanding!

God bless,

So, as I said, my puter issue wasn't as major as I originally feared and I did get all my files back.  But before I made contact with a reputable tech support person and knew I was in the clear, I spent some time fantasizing that I was friends with Andrew and *he* could fix Ebendrew for me.  (After all, it's partially named for him!)  Course, that woulda been kinda embarrassing considering all the Andrew-centric files I have...  And suppose one of the Dyelanders faced a situation like I did?  What might Andrew find as he tried to get their puter back up and running...  True, Andrew would never snoop but let's just pretend some freak computer issue caused a buncha files to open right before his lovely and computer savvy eyes...

Top Ten Files Andrew is Likely to Find Whilst Fixing a Dyelander's Computer

10.  Every email he ever sent the Dyelander and scanned copies of every note or letter he ever wrote them.  That stuff's gotta be saved for all time!!!

9.  Sappy letters to him... some of which he received... some not.  Those would be the sappiest ones, of course.

8.  A series of email receipts showing a standing order of the best brands of ginger ale crafted through out the world.  Anything to keep their Angel Boy hydrated and happy!

7.  An absolutely insane looking Excel spreadsheet demonstrating a complete failure to determine Andrew's long sought after age.

6.  A carefully sorted folder of photos of him.  Sample sub-folder titles would include: "Andrew in Glasses," "Andrew with Short Hair," "Andrew with Long Hair," "Andrew in Uniform," "Andrew Being Handy," and, simply, "Lovely Lovely Andrew" for all those photos that are just plain wonderful.

5.  A list of ideas for his birthday in September.  The list would include items like "Get someone to jump out of a cake (red velvet, of course!) dressed as the Eiffel Tower so Andrew can feel like he got to Paris" and "Get that Jon Mateos guy to record a song about him... preferably one that doesn't involve the lyrics 'God is dead.'"

4.  One of those fashion design computer programs especially created for the Dyelanders by Logan.  Guess who the model would be?!  Hope it has lotsa white shirt templates!  And a tool belt accessory file!

3.  An unfinished draft of a self-help book entitled "What to Expect When You've Fallen in Love With and/or Befriended an Angel of Death."  I predict Andrew would be bright red by the time he got to "Chapter Three: Clothing Your AOD" which would, of course, feature flannel shirt choosing tips and a notice on the chronic wardrobe condition that affects certain AODs: button forgetfulness.

2.  549 Andrew-themed play lists and a Pandora.com station dedicated to songs that remind the girls of Andrew.  (Author's note: That last bit would actually be fun.  We should do that sometime.)

1.  Speaking of Pandora... Andrew would learn that the Dyelanders have their very own cyber protection program to keep the bad stuff away from their puters.  Its name?  Andrew's Baseball Bat Antivirus and Pervy People Eliminator.  He'd be sooo proud!  ;-)


JABB 334

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)