is partly what we make it,
and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
~ Tennessee Williams
First, happy Mother's Day to
any and all moms in the group! I hope you feel very loved and
Second, this was a bit thrown
together. I've actually been working on something else but
decided I needed a bit more time with it. You'll likely see that
in a couple weeks.
Finally... I know I asked the
YG this but can't recall if I asked the newsletter only folks so... if
you have any ideas on things you'd like to see in JABB or that might be
helpful to you as you go about your lives and remember John, please let
me know. Thank you.
So... May 13th is
the Commemoration of the Murder Trial That Wasn't Then Was. I
recap this every year so just very briefly: round about Season 5 of
TBAA it was reported in a spoiler magazine that there would be an
episode in which Andrew was put on trial for murder... innocently,
natch! Many of us loved the dramatic potential of that but, alas,
it never happened. So we made up a holiday on which we mused over
in May 2005, I wrote a Dyeland
story in which that played out. Hence the "Then Was" in the title
of the celebration. Now, the Dyelanders are a group who like to
be prepared! So something tells me they would have a plan up
their sleeves were their darling Andrew ever falsely imprisoned
again. And maybe they'd even have a very special recipe planned...
Before we proceed, big thanks to Michelle for pointing me in the
direction of the recipe this is adapted from. You can find info
on *real* Amish Friendship Bread here
From the Official
Bread... with Jailbreak Friendly File
(to be used if Andrew
is ever falsely accused and jailed again)
-1 (.25 ounce) package
active dry yeast
-1/4 cup warm water
- 3 cups all-purpose
- 3 cups white sugar, divided
- 3 cups milk
-10 pound crate of Kleenex
-1 shirt from Andrew's
1. Calm down.
Yes, Andrew may be in a cell... in an orange jumpsuit that really does
NOT suit him. But he will be okay. Hug shirt. There,
now you feel better, right? Oh please stop crying! You're
getting the yeast wet! Eh, I spose it doesn't matter, anyhow.
Still with me?
2. Okay, in a small
bowl, dissolve yeast in the water.
Oh no. You found
Andrew's favorite ice cream bowl, didn't you? Put the
bowl down. PUT IT DOWN! STOP CRADLING IT!!! You can
watch him down all the Mint
Chocolate Chip or Rocky Road or whatever floats his boat in a very
short period of time. He'll be free in no time! You'll see!
3. Pray what you
just read proves true...
4. Let stand 10
minutes... Commence thinking about that time Andrew had an
assignment in that Amish community. Remember that beard? We
loved that beard... And then Rose called him Amish Boy forever
after... And those suspenders... Loved. Them.
And no Monica to snap them.
Put down the phone!
PUT IT DOWN!! Calling Monica to chew her out for something that
happened in 1999 will NOT help. She hasn't snapped his suspenders
since, after all.
Okay. Ten minutes is up.
5. In a 2 quart
container, combine 1 cup flour and 1 cup sugar.
Remember that time before
Lady Beth taught Andrew to cook and he somehow made all that sugar and
flour and milk explode all over his kitchen? He blushed so
much! It was adorable.
Get out the
Kleenex. Use them. Hug the shirt. You'll be
6. Mix thoroughly
and slowly stir in 1 cup milk and dissolved yeast mixture. Cover
loosely and let stand until bubbly. Leave loosely covered at room
Think the following:
"What?!?! I have to wait 10 days to do this?!?! But I need
to bake this file into this friggin bread NOW. Andrew is in
I want him ooooouuuuuuuuutttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Have now had cathartic release. Will just have to be
Just start eating the sugar
you were supposed to use on later days. It's called
Look into jail's conjugal
Contact the folks at Merriam
Webster. Need to get the definition of "conjugal"
Oh, yeah... Stir the batter.
1. Call the
judge. Talk up Andrew. Calmly agree that your
behavior is out of line. Promise not to call again.
2. Swoon over that time Andrew was a judge...
Stir the super slow batter
International. No luck.
Call the ACLU. Not
there either. Andrew is, after all, not American...
Call PETA... well, Andrew's
in human form and humans are animals, right?! Tell them a dove's
friend is in trouble when that line of reasoning doesn't work.
Listen to the click as they hang up...
Stir the batter as
you bemoan lack of rights and legal aid organizations devoted to
angels of death.
Finally something other than
stirring! Pour in a cup each of flour,
restocked sugar, and milk.
Write Andrew letter.
Rewrite Andrew letter when
prior letter becomes too tear-stained to read.
Seriously?!? Back to
the freakin' stirring again!?
2. Cry into Andrew's shirt because you have used all the Kleenex.
Go buy more Kleenex.
Fill purse with
Kleenex. And the shirt.
Attend opening statements.
Thank Adam for grabbing you
when you tried to leap into the defendant's occupied chair...
Woulda been undignified... Also may have gotten tazed...
Realize there's only one day
until Operation Free the Lovely One/Amish Boy/the Skin
3. Ponder if maybe Andrew's abundance of aliases may be sending
the wrong message to legal authorities...
Stir in another cup each of
flour, sugar, and milk.
Remove 1 cup to make
Finally you can put the file in!
Give 2 cups
to other Dyelanders along with above recipe and extra
files... need back-up plans. Save one cup.
Bake at 325 degrees for an
Deliver loaf of bread to
Andrew in jail during non-conjugal visit.
Listen as he explains that
the Father has a purpose for him there and breaking out isn't it...
Leave... remembering why it
is you've always loved this guy.
Andrew's free!!! Thank
Bake bread with saved cup of
batter. Stare, dewy-eyed and enamored, as Andrew enjoys it.
Say a prayer of thanksgiving.
8. Hug Andrew again. Repeat this step as desired for all
I felt like I should add a lil. I have a story mostly written
but, like I said, I wanna work on that a bit more. So... you
this feature, I just answer or field questions to other JABBers about
what we do here. It's easy filler material basically.
;-) They can be questions about JABB's history, Dyeland, general
fannishness, whatever! So if ya ever have any questions you'd
like to see answered here, lemme know!
These are two questions
someone asked me... Nicole, was it you?
;-) So I thought I'd answer where everyone could see.
1. How do you decide what the
weather is like in Dyeland?
Answer: Dyeland has very convenient
weather. ;-) If it suits a story to have it storm, it
storms. If a heat wave is necessary, there's a heat wave.
In general, Dyeland's weather corresponds to what I experience in the
Midwest U.S., though. It's extremely hard for me to write about
enchanting fields of wildflowers in, say, November. It makes it
seem colder. Similarly, today's a pretty warm day so I just can't
even imagine writing something where Andrew and Co. huddle in front of
a fire sipping cocoa as a blustery wind blows outside. When
the action moves out of Dyeland to, say, L.A. or New York (i.e.
somewhere real), however, I
do generally check weather reports. However, sometimes conflict
is unavoidable. Like I think by the time I sent the cruise story,
the Caribbean was having severe weather while in Dyeland-mode those
same days were beautiful cause they'd been written a while
before. I wouldn't go back and rewrite a story over weather
2. What's the deal with
Andrew's cell phone? How do any cell phones work both in Dyeland
and on Earth?
Answer: Shhh! No one's
supposed to think about that!
;-) I have no clue how cell phones would function in alternate
worlds. C.S. Lewis didn't have to deal with cell phones in
Narnia! So I just pretend they work as normal.
As for Andrew's, it was
purchased as part of a group plan with other
God intended for Andrew to
form these friendships, He's all for something that would keep them
connected on some level even when Andrew's away on assignments.
God would also, of course, know that Andrew would *always* observe cell
phone etiquette to the max. So NO texting while driving, no
talking on it or texting while with someone, etc. It would also
have the added benefit of making him seem less "other" and
possibly more approachable should an assignment overhear him having a
"Yeah, I'll grab a loaf of bread. How's Yva? Mick did
what?! Are the dogs behaving?" type of conversation.
Also, Andrew's phone would have
been appropriately angelized. It would, for example, never, ever
go off during a revelation
scene! Eeek! Basically the
battery temporarily dies whenever God wills it to. In addition,
he doesn't *always* have it. When he was homeless it was just
sitting on a counter in
Serendipity or something. Ditto when he
was in Iraq.
Finally, I think the phone probably has different numbers attached to
it. Like if Andrew needed a cell phone for a job as when he was a
police officer in "Safe," he could probly give one number out that
would only work for the duration of that assignment and both that and
his real Dyeland number would ring on the same phone during that
assignment. After that assignment, only the original Dyeland
number would work.
Essentially, I did not plan this phone out at all. Suddenly he
just had one. So now I'm going backward and making sense of
Credits: The photographs used on this page are
from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used
to seek profit.)