(Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.)
It was 1998 and I was a meek,
quiet,
little sophomore at Our Lady of Perpetual Awesomeness
High. This
meant I was all too often picked on by some of my bolder,
savvier
"friends." Introvert that I am, I silently took it all in
and
then would promptly burst into tears once in my room.

On this
particular day, we were celebrating a special occasion which
meant
eating lunch in the hallway. I was, at this point, about a
year
into my Crush on JD/Infatuation with Andrew. Even though I
don't
like karate movies, I'd been watching
Best of the Best.
And
because I thought John was all sorts of awesome, I would
occasionally
mimic stuff he did in movies or on TBAA. So I'd started
sitting
in lotus position. Like Virgil. I'd sit and watch
entire
TBAA episodes in lotus position. (Probly not something I
could
pull off now...) So at lunch I sat in the hall, eating my
bagel
sandwich, in lotus position.
A friend we'll call Leia noticed me and said "I bet I can sit
like that
longer than you can."
"I dunno. I've been practicing sitting like this for a
while..."
I responded.
Leia, being uber-competitive, insisted.
Thus did we both sit in lotus position in the sophomore hall of
Our
Lady.
A few minutes went by... I was fine! Virgil had
prepared me
for just such a ridiculous contest! Another friend looked
at
sandaled Leia and pointed out that her feet were turning a bit
purplish. Leia insisted she felt just fine.
More time went by. Time enough for a full TBAA episode
hadn't
passed so I was doing great. Then all of a sudden...
"Oh my God! Leia, your feet are really purple!" a friend
cried.
Leia grimaced, visibly uncomfortable.
And then... a couple minutes later... Leia fell out of lotus
position
and admitted defeat.
I won! For once Leia had tried to knock me down and I had
triumphed!!! I know it might not sound like a big deal
but,
looking
back, I realize that Leia was something of a bully. But,
because
of Virgil, for one shining moment she didn't have anything on
me. And without John Dye I would never have had that
moment and, to a teenage girl, one little victory can
do an awful lot for her self-esteem. Especially when it
stems
from a super-cute guy in orange pants.
When Mime Make-Up Attacks!!!
The second story my best friend
reminded
me of happened during our senior year. Ever since late
freshman
year, I had been trying to convince my friends to watch
TBAA.
People had to see what I loved so much! I knew if they
could only
see Andrew they wouldn't make fun of me for being madly
obsessed
(complete with in-locker photo spread) with an angel of
death.
Finally, I saw my chance! My friends adored N Sync so
when I
heard about "Voice of an Angel" I merrily told them that
they were
guest-starring on my show and they needed to watch.
They would,
at last, see the immense loveliness that is Andrew!

I th
ink by now we
all know what
happened in "Voice of an
Angel"... Monica was whiny and got drunk. She
sang "Danny
Boy." Very badly... She snapped
Andrew's suspenders! Tess was in a tizzy and Andrew...
my lovely,
beloved Andrew... was wearing make-up. *Mime*
make-up. And
this, my friends knew, was my
ideal man! I was in for
it
the next day
at lunch.
There's something you need to know about Our Lady of
Perpetual
Awesomeness to fully understand my horror. We had a
mime
troupe. And we were forced to watch them
perform. So after
four years of that we weren't exactly mime-friendly people.
And my crush of crushes was a mime...