"Heaven is like
every beautiful day
you're ever seen.
Every beautiful
flower you've ever smelled. Every kiss
you've ever had." ~~Monica,
"The Medium and the Message"
Hi
all,
Originally
this was supposed to be a very short newsletter filled with
material I'd saved for busy days. And I still think it's going to
be short. But I didn't want to go digging through files.
Just don't have the patience or concentration for it. As many of
you know, my office lost a co-worker tragically this past week.
And far, far before her time. So I'm just not in a top tens and
goofy stories mode. But through out this week as we prayed for
her and then grieved for her, I've thought
so often of TBAA. As
you can imagine, it is never far from my mind. That would be a
lil difficult in my position with JABB! But sometimes I lose
sight of how grateful I am for it. So here, with Rebecca joining
me, I'm just gonna write a bit about why I love this show.
God
bless, Jenni
"I
just want you to know there's
nothing to be afraid of. On
one side, there is life. And on the other...there is life, too." ~~Andrew,
"Random Acts"
That quote above is, possibly,
the
single, biggest reason I'm glad I first turned TBAA on some fateful
day in 1994/5 and stuck with it. In my many years with the
fandom, I've heard countless people say they found their way back to
God via the show or tuned in because it was the only time they heard
"God loves you" or that anyone loved them, period. I was touched
by these stories though I couldn't relate. I grew up in a family
and community of faith. I grew up believing that Jesus was always
nearby, that God loved everyone, and that I was loved. So while
the angels' proclamations of "God loves you!" were always nice to hear,
I suspect I was not as moved as some. But my time would come.
Neither love nor faith are
full-proof vaccinations from the pain of
this world. Sometimes in moments of soul-seering grief, it
becomes difficult to imagine the Heaven that seemed so real as a
child. And sometimes fear rears its ugly head and whispers that
maybe death is really the end. I first confronted this sort of
anxiety and sadness in high school when my grandpa died. And then
that quote of Andrew's started running through my head. It was
relentless. And it pulled me through. I know it was written
by an earthly author. Either R.J. Colleary or Martha Williamson,
apparently. But I know God used it to reach me then. I
think He's using it now, too.
Beyond the impact those
words had on me, I don't think I can fully
express just how much of an impact the very character of Andrew had on
me. Ironically, the show was off the air before I fully realized
just how much my life had been changed by this idea of angels of
death. And I'm not even sure if this will make sense to other
people. Sometimes I'm not even sure it makes sense to me.
But I've come to believe it and to find peace in it. So here it
is: I never believed in angels of death. They seemed
redundant. I mean isn't it enough that God is with people when
they most need help? But as I grew older and heard heartbreaking
story after heartbreaking story, that wasn't enough. If God
created us to live together, how can we make peace with the thoughts of
those who die alone, especially? I was terrified by the idea of
people leaving this earth with their last contact with creation being
something heinous. I wanted to believe that someone, made not
begotten, was with people when they died. To represent us.
To represent the best of what God created, the best of what it means to
be a child of God. To be hope and love and kindness. To
choose to be there for someone not because there was anything in it for
them. Not because it was required by their nature. But
because they chose love. In essence, I wanted to believe in a
creature that was the opposite of the cruelty and callousness that ends
too many lives. I thought of Andrew and Adam and Henry. And
I wanted that. And I have to believe that if some of our fellow
mere humans could breathe life into them, then God could breathe life
into real beings like them. I'm still torn up by tragic news
stories. And I cry and grieve when the life of someone I knew is
cut so terribly short. But then I think of that triad: the human,
the angel, and their God and I find peace in that. I know we'll
all make our way Home, led by the hands of our Creator who will never
cease loving us and a fellow creature who chose to love us.
Maybe without TBAA I would
have eventually found my way out of my
spiritual predicament or maybe my need to believe in the presence of
this supernatural creature would have faded. But I don't
know. And I don't know if, without this belief, I would even be
able to function at times like these. But I did watch TBAA.
I was touched by the show and its angels. And I'm grateful to
everyone who made it possible and to the God that led me to it and,
eventually, here with all of you. May we one day see the Ultimate
Reality together and find it even more beautiful than TBAA prepared us
for. And until that time comes, I hope we always remember we're
never alone and never unloved.
Love, Jenni
From Rebecca:
TBAA
has really been a huge source of inspiration for me. The
show really seemed like it was touched and inspired by something
greater than just a television show. There are many times in my
own life that I have gotten great comfort from thinking back on one of
the episodes or felt such love from watching the angels and their
"assignments" in the episodes. Knowing that we see the angels and
people and the true star of the show although unseen is always present
we see his evidence through the love that is found in all of the
episodes. I do
seem to think of "Unidentified Female" with this recent
tragedy. I remember at some point Monica says "Some roads home
are shorter than others." Basically I believe they said while it
all seems very senseless and random God does have a plan and something
positive can alway emerge from these horrific events.
(Photo Credits: The
photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned
by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.
They are not being used to seek profit.)