"Heaven is like every beautiful day you're ever seen. 
Every beautiful flower you've ever smelled. 
Every kiss you've ever had." 
~~Monica, "The Medium and the Message"


Hi all,

Originally this was supposed to be a very short newsletter filled with material I'd saved for busy days.  And I still think it's going to be short.  But I didn't want to go digging through files.  Just don't have the patience or concentration for it.  As many of you know, my office lost a co-worker tragically this past week.  And far, far before her time.  So I'm just not in a top tens and goofy stories mode.  But through out this week as we prayed for her and then grieved for her, I've thought so often of TBAA.  As you can imagine, it is never far from my mind.  That would be a lil difficult in my position with JABB!  But sometimes I lose sight of how grateful I am for it.  So here, with Rebecca joining me, I'm just gonna write a bit about why I love this show.

God bless,
Jenni



"I just want you to know there's nothing to be afraid of.
On one side, there is life. And on the other...there is life, too."
~~Andrew, "Random Acts"

That quote above is, possibly, the single, biggest reason I'm glad I first turned TBAA on some fateful day in 1994/5 and stuck with it.  In my many years with the fandom, I've heard countless people say they found their way back to God via the show or tuned in because it was the only time they heard "God loves you" or that anyone loved them, period.  I was touched by these stories though I couldn't relate.  I grew up in a family and community of faith.  I grew up believing that Jesus was always nearby, that God loved everyone, and that I was loved.  So while the angels' proclamations of "God loves you!" were always nice to hear, I suspect I was not as moved as some.  But my time would come.

Neither love nor faith are full-proof vaccinations from the pain of this world.  Sometimes in moments of soul-seering grief, it becomes difficult to imagine the Heaven that seemed so real as a child.  And sometimes fear rears its ugly head and whispers that maybe death is really the end.  I first confronted this sort of anxiety and sadness in high school when my grandpa died.  And then that quote of Andrew's started running through my head.  It was relentless.  And it pulled me through.  I know it was written by an earthly author.  Either R.J. Colleary or Martha Williamson, apparently.  But I know God used it to reach me then.  I think He's using it now, too.

Beyond the impact those words had on me, I don't think I can fully express just how much of an impact the very character of Andrew had on me.  Ironically, the show was off the air before I fully realized just how much my life had been changed by this idea of angels of death.  And I'm not even sure if this will make sense to other people.  Sometimes I'm not even sure it makes sense to me.  But I've come to believe it and to find peace in it.  So here it is: I never believed in angels of death.  They seemed redundant.  I mean isn't it enough that God is with people when they most need help?  But as I grew older and heard heartbreaking story after heartbreaking story, that wasn't enough.  If God created us to live together, how can we make peace with the thoughts of those who die alone, especially?  I was terrified by the idea of people leaving this earth with their last contact with creation being something heinous.  I wanted to believe that someone, made not begotten, was with people when they died.  To represent us.  To represent the best of what God created, the best of what it means to be a child of God.  To be hope and love and kindness.  To choose to be there for someone not because there was anything in it for them.  Not because it was required by their nature.  But because they chose love.  In essence, I wanted to believe in a creature that was the opposite of the cruelty and callousness that ends too many lives.  I thought of Andrew and Adam and Henry.  And I wanted that.  And I have to believe that if some of our fellow mere humans could breathe life into them, then God could breathe life into real beings like them.  I'm still torn up by tragic news stories.  And I cry and grieve when the life of someone I knew is cut so terribly short.  But then I think of that triad: the human, the angel, and their God and I find peace in that.  I know we'll all make our way Home, led by the hands of our Creator who will never cease loving us and a fellow creature who chose to love us. 

Maybe without TBAA I would have eventually found my way out of my spiritual predicament or maybe my need to believe in the presence of this supernatural creature would have faded.  But I don't know.  And I don't know if, without this belief, I would even be able to function at times like these.  But I did watch TBAA.  I was touched by the show and its angels.  And I'm grateful to everyone who made it possible and to the God that led me to it and, eventually, here with all of you.  May we one day see the Ultimate Reality together and find it even more beautiful than TBAA prepared us for.  And until that time comes, I hope we always remember we're never alone and never unloved.

Love,
Jenni

From Rebecca:

TBAA has really been a huge source of inspiration for me.  The show really seemed like it was touched and inspired by something greater than just a television show.  There are many times in my own life that I have gotten great comfort from thinking back on one of the episodes or felt such love from watching the angels and their "assignments" in the episodes.  Knowing that we see the angels and people and the true star of the show although unseen is always present we see his evidence through the love that is found in all of the episodes.
 
I do seem to think of "Unidentified Female" with this recent tragedy.  I remember at some point Monica says "Some roads home are shorter than others."   Basically I believe they said while it all seems very senseless and random God does have a plan and something positive can alway emerge from these horrific events.


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(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)