Answers:

"Andrew dancing around quickly with his black umbrella, wearing his jeans and blue and gray flannel shirt.  Or maybe it's me in a black dress he's dancing with.  Yep, that's totally what it is.  Must go find Andrew..."

"Dyeland psychologists with too much time on their hands is what I see, babies."

So do you see anything in the ink blots?  Let us know if you do!


So the other article I read was about how companies should always have up-to-date job descriptions for all of their employees.  The reason being that if that employee should get hit by the proverbial bus, they could rehire quickly instead of having to spend time figuring out after the fact what exactly that employee did.  Cozy idea, huh?  Well, Andrew can't get hit by a bus.  Or at least if he does, not much will happen.  But suppose he had a job description in Dyeland?  What might that look like???

In the event that Andrew should become unable to fulfill his duties in Dyeland, the job description below will be used to rehire for the position.

Thank you,
Dyeland's Angel & Human Resources Director

Qualifications:
The ideal applicant must have a pleasant personality.  He will approach most situations with an even temper and ready smile.  However, he must also be willing to take a strong stance when needed.  Applicant must have a good sense of humor and while blushing is a plus he must not be too easily embarrassed by comments about his glorious hair, dazzling eyes, and all-over loveliness. The ideal applicant will be compassionate, loving, and unceasingly supportive of those around him.  He will speak openly about God and share God's love with others... and he will be loved.

Applicant must have over a thousand years experience dealing with humans cause, believe us, he will need it.  Video editing experience is a plus as is experience in a band.

Other requirements include but are not limited to:

• must love dogs


• must love humans

• must love children

• must have the ability to drive a large, green mini-van

• must not be overly alarmed upon meeting the undead, people who look like fairy tale characters, or people who have famous movies/books named after them

• must be able to sing "A Stor Mo Chroi," "Don't Fear the Reaper," "Dream Catch Me," and a wide variety of other songs on command

• must be emotionally open but we, the members of Dyeland, Inc., are willing to work with the applicant on this
  


• must be able to put up with teasing about their advanced age and be willing to tease back yet never actually reveal their age because really inquiring minds don't want to know as it would ruin the fun

• must be able to bake the traditional Christmas dinner rolls

• must be willing to celebrate Halloween even if applicant hates Halloween because his friends enjoy it and, besides, he looks adorable in costumes

• must not be thoroughly embarrassed if they find themselves the subject of curriculum (see Androoler U) or scouting badges (see Dye Scouts)

• must be willing to engage in mock presidential debates with his friends for the amusement of other friends and then get elected president only to be forced to resign some time later but still get stuck with a buncha responsibilities

• must be able to endure countless Christmases that for better or worse strangely mimic holiday favorites

• must write an annual address about how awesome he thinks we are and how blessed he feels thus giving us the warm-fuzzies

• must always remember dates important to his friends

• must be a jack of all trades and able to go from angelic duties to helping a friend fix turkey pens to writing a column for a newspaper to creating a documentary to being a handyman without straining himself

• must be willing to take cooking lessons

• must be able to watch some dude that looks an awful lot like him engage in questionable acts in a movie trailer so his naive friend won't have to watch it alone

• must cope with unforeseen and potentially devastating events like... being arrested for murder, being disinvited to a friend's wedding, having to recall the horror of the witch trials, and tracking down a murderer with his trusty, very mortal friends with out flipping out and putting them under house arrest for their own safety

• must be willing to watch episodes of Touched by an Angel with friends and offer up comments even if it does feel just a bit awkward...

• must be a great buddy to his AOD Band mates

• must be willing to fight, fight, fight with all that's in him if he feels a post-tragic assignment nervous breakdown coming on that will emotionally divide him from his friends...

• the ideal applicant will win the above mentioned fight and his friendships will be stronger for it

• the ideal applicant will also follow that stumble up with piecing together, with a dear friend, a list highlighting all the wonderful events in Dyeland
  

• must never, ever let Eben win

• must be able to keep fellow AODs distracted whilst parties are prepared in their honor

• must be able to stand up to nutty, cruel funeral protesters

• must enjoy playing football
  

• must be able to gently console his friends after any of the following: death of a pet (LJA), bullying from supposed crazy guardian-stalking girl (Yva), reappearance of long lost father (Rose), reappearance of long lost mother (Vincent), death of longtime love (Josef), and so much more


• must allow friends to help him out when he's inundated with scandalizing unwanted phone calls

• must be willing to fill out random Facebook memes for no other reason than something needs to be put in the biweekly Dyeland newsletter

• must know the rules to Andrewopoly
  

• must answer to many, many, many different nicknames