"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors,
we borrow it from our children."
~Native American Proverb

Hi all,

I originally had something else planned for this issue but it hasn't come together yet.  Hopefully soon.  Until then, we had a couple holidays recently so I hope you enjoy this Earth Day/Promotion Day-themed newsletter!

Until next time...

God bless,

PS- Apologies in advance for any typos.  Part of this was written during a thunderstorm and I rushed to finish before possibly having to shut down.

Memo from the Earth Day Committee of Dyeland

Fellow Dyelanders:

In honor of Earth Day, some of us have banded together to form guidelines for saving energy and generally being better stewards of both Earth and Dyeland.  The following will now become a major part of life for Dyelanders:

1.  The next time a light bulb burns out do not replace it with either the old school Edison bulbs or the groovy spring-shaped new kind (CFLs). We have an even more earth friendly solution for you!  Light up your room with an angel!  Yes, that's right!  Prop Andrew up anywhere you require light.  His amazing glow can be turned on either by pulling his right arm or clapping.  Or, ya know, just asking nicely.

2.  Water shortage is a major issue.  But not in Dyeland!  Our scientists have discovered a way to mop up all those tears certain Dyelanders shed whenever Andrew leaves and turn them into pure drinking water!  Ah!  Separation anxiety has never tasted so good!

3.  Have an old clunker?  About ready to pitch that clothes dryer that doesn't actually dry clothes?  Don't throw it in a landfill!  Bring it to Dyeland City!  We'll present it to Andrew with the request that he fix it.  Sure it's a Sisyphean task cause that thing is dead, dead, dead!  But your piece of junk will be recycled into endless hours of "Andrew's wearing a tool belt!" entertainment!

4.  Andrew's pulled out the CD holder in the middle of the front seat of the Jolly Green Giant, Coolest and Loveliest of All Mini-Vans!  Now one more person can fit inside his van, perhaps negating the need to bring along a second, gas-guzzling vehicle.  We're assured this decision has nothing to do with certain Dyelanders fantasies about riding in the front seat with Andrew, drifting to sleep and sliding ever so slightly nearer to the driver's seat with one's head leaning ever so slightly onto the driver's shoulder as Coldplay songs are heard ever so quietly...  Ahem.  Yay, an extra seat! 

5.  Take a cue from the Tunnel dwellers!  Don't toss clothes just cause that trend was so last season.  Your 2008 tie collection could be someone else's groovy skirt.  Old shirts, skirts, etc. can be torn up and turned into a patchwork quilt.  We could then give those quilts to our wandering AOD population so we shall always be with them.  Aww...  Every AOD needs a blankie.  Especially when we can't be there and sad things happen and... and...  I need to go find Andrew!!!

Ahem... please keep these guidelines in mind! 

Thank you and remember every day is Earth Day.  And Dyeland Day!

And now we leave Dyeland for a word from Jenni...

Hi again,

Those transitions always seem awkward to me.  Oh well.  So... today is Promotion Day!  On this day in 1865, so TBAA tells us, Andrew was promoted to angel of death.  Sure, other episodes seem to contradict this (I'm looking at *you* otherwise beloved "Sign of the Dove") but on JABB we go along with the date.  It had been my hope that when Promotion Day rolled around this year we'd be able to watch "Beautiful Dreamer" on DVD.  And then I coulda used photos from it to decorate this newsletter.  No such luck.  It's sad.  We use these stamps at work and, I kid you not, every time I use them I think about that episode and how I want it on DVD!  Thank goodness I don't use pennies very often!  But this is not an appropriate response to images of the 16th president of the United States! 

Anyhow, with out the DVD I didn't have an overwhelming amount of inspiration for celebrating "Promotion Day."  But hopefully what follows will be somewhat amusing.

Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer: The "Promotion Day" Edition

Question:  When I got promoted at my job I got a bonus and a bigger office.  What did Andrew get?

Answer:  A bigger cloud.  And the company car which turned out to be a chariot of fire.  He scorched the cars next to him when he tried to park it at Target.  Oops.

Question: Why don't they mention Andrew's part in the history books when they talk about Lincoln's assassination?

Answer: It's a vast government conspiracy to keep us from spending our school days swooning over the lovely angel.  Maybe the next edition...  Sigh...

Question:  Can Andrew come give a talk to my History class about his experiences with Mr. Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth?

Answer:  Can I sit in on it?  Maybe he'll wear a flannel shirt.  Or a cuddly sweater.  Or that insanely attractive professor-like ensemble from "Have You Seen Me?"  And then we could take him to lunch.  And then not come back.  Hey, what student doesn't like getting the afternoon off cause their teacher and some random lady absconded with the guest speaker?!?!  It'd be great!  But... no.

Question:  When's the Season 5 DVD set coming out?!?!  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?!?!  I must see "Beautiful Dreamer"!!!

Answer:  As soon as we raise enough money to buy out CBS and Paramount.  How are those bake sales coming???

If only...

Happy Promotion Day!!!


JABB 273

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)