do not inherit the earth from our ancestors,
we borrow it from our children."
~Native American Proverb
originally had something else
planned for this issue but it hasn't come together yet. Hopefully
soon. Until then, we had a couple holidays recently so I hope you
enjoy this Earth Day/Promotion Day-themed newsletter!
PS- Apologies in advance for any typos. Part of this was written
during a thunderstorm and I rushed to finish before possibly having to
Memo from the Earth Day
Committee of Dyeland
honor of Earth Day, some of
us have banded together to form
guidelines for saving energy and generally being better stewards of
both Earth and Dyeland. The following will now become a major
part of life for Dyelanders:
The next time a light
bulb burns out do not replace it with
either the old school Edison bulbs or the groovy spring-shaped new
kind (CFLs). We have an even more earth friendly solution for
up your room with an angel! Yes, that's right! Prop Andrew
up anywhere you require light. His amazing glow can be turned on
either by pulling his right arm or clapping. Or, ya know, just
Water shortage is a
major issue. But not in
Dyeland! Our scientists have discovered a way to mop up all those
tears certain Dyelanders shed whenever Andrew leaves and turn them into
pure drinking water! Ah! Separation anxiety has never
tasted so good!
Have an old
clunker? About ready to pitch that clothes
dryer that doesn't actually dry clothes? Don't throw it in a
landfill! Bring it to Dyeland City! We'll present it to
Andrew with the request that he fix it. Sure it's a Sisyphean
task cause that thing is dead, dead, dead! But your piece of junk
will be recycled into endless hours
of "Andrew's wearing a tool belt!" entertainment!
Andrew's pulled out the
CD holder in the middle of the front seat
of the Jolly Green Giant, Coolest and Loveliest of All Mini-Vans!
Now one more person can fit inside his van, perhaps negating the
need to bring along a second, gas-guzzling vehicle. We're assured
this decision has nothing to do with certain Dyelanders fantasies about
riding in the front seat with Andrew, drifting to sleep and sliding
ever so slightly nearer to the driver's seat with one's head leaning
ever so slightly onto the driver's shoulder as Coldplay songs are heard
ever so quietly... Ahem. Yay, an extra seat!
Take a cue from the
Tunnel dwellers! Don't toss clothes
just cause that trend was so last season. Your 2008 tie
collection could be someone else's groovy skirt. Old shirts,
skirts, etc. can be torn up and turned into a patchwork quilt. We
could then give those quilts to our wandering AOD population so we
shall always be with them. Aww... Every AOD needs a
blankie. Especially when we can't be there and sad things happen
and... and... I need to go find Andrew!!!
Ahem... please keep these guidelines in mind!
Thank you and remember every day is Earth Day. And Dyeland Day!
now we leave Dyeland for a
word from Jenni...
transitions always seem
awkward to me. Oh well. So...
today is Promotion Day! On this day in 1865, so TBAA tells us,
Andrew was promoted to angel of death. Sure, other episodes seem
to contradict this (I'm looking at *you* otherwise beloved "Sign of the
Dove") but on JABB we go along with the date. It had been my hope
that when Promotion Day rolled around this year we'd be able to watch
"Beautiful Dreamer" on DVD. And then I coulda used photos from it
to decorate this newsletter. No such luck. It's sad.
We use these
stamps at work
and, I kid
you not, every time I use them I think
about that episode and how I want it on DVD! Thank goodness I
don't use pennies very often! But this is not an appropriate
response to images of the 16th president of the United States!
with out the DVD I
didn't have an overwhelming amount of inspiration for celebrating
"Promotion Day." But hopefully what follows will be somewhat
Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer: The "Promotion Day" Edition
When I got promoted
at my job I got a bonus and a bigger office. What did Andrew get?
Answer: A bigger
cloud. And the company car which turned
out to be a chariot of fire. He scorched
the cars next to him
when he tried to park it at Target. Oops.
Why don't they
mention Andrew's part in the history books
when they talk about Lincoln's assassination?
Answer: It's a vast government
conspiracy to keep us from spending our
school days swooning over the lovely angel. Maybe the next
Can Andrew come give a talk to my History class about his experiences
with Mr. Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth?
Answer: Can I sit in on it? Maybe he'll wear a flannel
shirt. Or a cuddly sweater. Or that insanely attractive
professor-like ensemble from "Have You Seen Me?" And then we
could take him to lunch. And then not come back. Hey, what
student doesn't like getting the afternoon off cause their teacher and
some random lady absconded with the guest speaker?!?! It'd be
great! But... no.
Question: When's the Season 5
DVD set coming out?!?! Huh? Huh? Huh?!?! I must
see "Beautiful Dreamer"!!!
Answer: As soon as we raise enough money to buy out CBS
and Paramount. How are those bake sales coming???
The photographs used on this page are from
"Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used
to seek profit.)