Sorry.  I know we usually wait longer before sending another JABB but I'm told this can't wait.
 
A Message from Andrew
 
Dear JABB Members,
 
After a great deal of consideration I've decided it's time I resign as the focus of this newsletter and give up my place in Dyeland.  It's stressing me out and has anyone else noticed my life got a lot more dramatic after Dyeland???  I'm grateful to everyone for not writing me into some sudsy romance or actually wishing one upon me but... wow.  This is just too much.  I've tallied up some of the things that have happened to me in recent years:
 
1.  Been consistently bullied by sworn enemy/former friend.
2.  Got hit by a member of a hate group.
3.  Witnessed the fallout of a vampire turning gone terribly wrong.
4.  Got knocked unconscious by camera equipment and left to believe that my friends were all actors.
5.  Was sent to Iraq... again.
6.  Was lead to believe a friend of 9 years had decided she regretted our friendship.
7.  Witnessed a beloved assignment be murdered by her boyfriend and then spent a week freaking out about my friends being in the same town.
8.  Monica.
9.  Was imprisoned for a murder I did not commit.
10.  Had what looked suspiciously like a nervous breakdown and alienated my friends.
11.  Got told to "stay the hell away" by a friend.
12.  Had to watch "Heart of the Beholder."  Seriously, did it not occur to anyone how freaky that was going to be for me!?!?  I totally look like that slimeball!
13.  Had to grow a beard.  It was itchy.
 
I need a vacation.  A very looooong vacation.  Sorry.  But I don't want to inconvenience the writers too much so I'm offering these alternative ideas for JABB:
 
If you don't want to keep John in there then might I suggest the Jason Alexander Bucket Brigade?  Who wouldn't want to belong to a George Constanza, jerk from "Pretty Woman" fan club???
 
Or maybe you do want to keep John in there so you could be the John/Adam Bucket Brigade.  You know, Adam from "The Perfect Weapon."  You could write tons about him.  And, hey, he's already got shot so he's used to the drama.  But that reminds me...
 
Anyone up for the John Adams Bucket Brigade?  Even dead presidents need your support!
 
I'm sure you can think of something.  You're creative people!  As for Dyeland, I'm sure Adam can handle everything.  I left my house keys in the door. 
 
And now I need to catch a flight to Paris.  Au revoir!
 
Your very harried friend,
Andrew

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JABB 271

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