JABB 269- News from the Dyeland Daily Gazette

"If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it."
~ Andy Rooney

Hi all,

This newsletter *is* a bit longer than the last one. Yay!

First, a bit of business. In recent weeks I have gone through our membership lists for both the newsletter and the YG in an attempt to cull dead or zombie accounts. We seem to have a lot of them! Right now there are still some newsletter-only people whose accounts I'm not sure about. If you received an email from me with the subject line "Response needed by March 31st..." and have NOT responded but wish to receive the JABB newsletter, please let me know ASAP. Thanks!

Other than that there's really no real-life news to share so I thought we'd get some Dyeland news. I hope you enjoy!

God bless,
Jenni

As Dyelanders Fret, Andrew Agrees to Perform Season 5 of Touched

By: Janie Dyefan

ROSEATE THEATRE, DYELAND CITY-- With no word yet on the DVD release of Season 5 of Touched by an Angel, some in Dyeland have officially entered panic mode. While Seasons 1 through 4 remain popular, it is obvious that the show's fans are anxious for something "new... or at least newer," as one viewer put it.

"Must see 'Beautiful Dreamer'... now," another intoned.

Andrew has not been oblivious to the concern caused by this DVD delay. "I know the ladies want those Season 5 episodes and, you know, I wouldn't mind seeing them myself. There are still a few episodes I haven't seen. But until those DVDs arrive, I've agreed to act out the entire season myself," the angel of death said last month.

Andrew's offer was readily accepted.

"I'm so psyched," Lady JenniAnn cried. "It's gonna be awesome. And us ladies have agreed to split up the female roles, including Monica. I call dibs on playing that comedienne in 'Jagged Edges!' Andrew with a baby..."

Rose was equally excited about the task at hand. "I get to glue on his sideburns for 'Beautiful Dreamer'! I also get to play Monica in 'Psalm 151' which will be a lot of fun. White shirt..."

Yva spent several hours transcribing scripts from VHS copies of Season 5. "I'd prefer to be writing something original but this is for a good cause," she confided. "Although... did Andrew say he hasn't seen all of Season 5?"

Presented with the scripts Andrew was mildly surprised. "I always thought Touched kept a little closer to real life but I guess not. I know I never had an assignment where I had to share an apartment with Adam and The Odd Couple style hijinks ensued but that's in the script Yva gave me. And they filmed an episode where all 'Andrew' and 'Monica' did was go shopping for clothes for 'Andrew'? According to Rose's script they must have! And they had an assignment at a Renaissance Faire? I'm surprised JenniAnn never mentioned that before now. Wow. The show was really different."

When asked for her comment as filming began, Tess only laughed. "Angel Boy walked right into this one. I'd tell him he's being tricked but seeing him in that jerkin makes me nostalgic."

Soon after the first episode was filmed, Andrew became privy to his friends' plot. Unsurprisingly, he was a good sport about it. "Yeah, I thought it was a little suspicious this whole time. But it's been fun. And as payback I got to write my own episode script. It's called 'Andrew Watches Football and Eats Junk Food with Friends.' Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go film that now," he said with a grin.

Meanwhile, the Dyelanders continue to wait for the DVDs of the official Season 5.

Former President Andrew Introduces Economic Recovery Plan

By: Andrea Friend

MONICA'S CAFE, LALA LAND-- Economic worries are not restricted to Earth it seems. Though no longer in office, former president Andrew has apparently taken to trying to fix Dyeland's broken economy.

"First, I think we need to put some hotels on Leather Jacket Avenue and buy up TOTGA Railroad," he began. "Avoid St. Andrew's Place,

Abraham Avenue, and Green Shirt Gardens. Adam bought them all up and that rent isn't cheap! We could go bankrupt!"

Asked for further details, Andrew stated that "we shouldn't buy Venice Place. Everyone knows it's the least landed on space and we won't make any rent money off of it."

The angel of death's plan hit a snag, however, when he landed in the Netherworld. "I wasn't even allowed to pass Home and collect $200. No fair," he cried.

No word yet on when Andrew will be able to return to Dyeland.

Correction: It has come to our attention that our reporter overheard Andrew and some of his friends playing Andrewopoly, not introducing a recovery plan as originally reported. Andrew has not been sent to the Netherworld, he has no economic recovery plan, and Dyeland has no economy (troubled or otherwise). We apologize for this confusion and will endeavor to keep such mistakes out of future editions of the Dyeland Daily Gazette. Thank you. And I'm calling the tool belt game piece next time everyone plays. It's much better than a wheel barrow.

Editorial:

"Yes, We're *Still* Here"

By: JenniAnn Dwynwen Chandler

If you're anything like me you may get comments such as these from friends and relatives:

"So, you still in that Touched by an Angel group? Does anyone even care any more?"
or
"Don't you think maybe it's time to move on?"
or
"So what's with you and the blonde guy? Please tell me you're not just with him cause he looks like that actor you used to watch on that angel show!"

It can be hard to answer these questions without revealing too much of our life here in Dyeland and

explaining that when TBAA ended our adventures were just beginning! (Not that it would be bad to still love TBAA even without Dyeland!) But, as with many annoyances, a sense of humor can help greatly. So you might consider employing some of these answers I've used myself.

1. "So, you still in that Touched by an Angel group? Does anyone even care any more?"

"Yep. I'm just waiting for my special TBAA fan pension to kick in so I can retire to Salt Lake City."
or
"Nope. No one cares. We just like wasting our time."
or
"Yes. And we'd like you to join us. Please come, join us. Together we shall conquer all demons and ascend to a higher plane where we shall meet the Great AOD who will usher in an era of light and cupcakes and unicorns." (This is especially amusing if you can manage to look spacey and doe-eyed.)

2. "Don't you think maybe it's time to move on?"

"I'd like to but I'm contractually obligated by Moonwater Productions to remain committed to Touched. Please pass the salt."
or
"Move on to what? Highway to Heaven?"
or my personal favorite:
"NO!!!!"

3. "So what's with you and the blonde guy? Please tell me you're not just with him cause he looks like that actor you used to watch on that angel show!"