"Gratitude is not
only the greatest of virtues,
but the parent
of all others." ~ Cicero
Things are really crazy
now. So I wrote this newsletter in
countless five minute bursts in between dealing with stuff. If
it's at all amusing... yay! If it's not, well, at least there are
another 259 JABBs plus 9 CABBs you can look back on! :-)
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone
celebrating! To everyone else,
happy Thursday! It's almost the weekend!
I had considered having this
be written as if by Andrew.
But the thing is it's a lil hard to write as Andrew when one's feeling
very fondly about Andrew. Unless one wants to make Andrew sound
narcissistic. That would be bad. But I did at least pull my
head outta the clouds and get the stars outta my eyes long enough to
Top Ten Things
Andrew is Grateful for
that He Won't Admit To... Except Here
10. Life cereal- He likes it. He really likes it.
9. The remote control- Andrew's not generally the type to
jeopardize the channel changer but he does enjoy a feeling of
empowerment when, with one touch of a button, POOF! those dratted
"Scream" and "Final Destination" movies disappear.
8. November 1st- 364 days until he has to deal with Grim Reapers
7. Boxers- Turns out Andrew wasn't a huge fan of loin
6. Bleach and super strength laundry detergent- They're great for
getting all that mascara, eye shadow, foundation, and blush off of his
shirts after being cried on by certain emotional Dyelanders.
5. Lame TV- Between reality show crud, copycat dramas, and the
networks' tendency to cancel actually enjoyable shows, Andrew can rest
assured no other lovely TV man will steal away the Dyelanders'
affection. Andrew can live with being replaced by actual, decent
boyfriends and husbands. But he's just not sure he can handle his
place being usurped by Detective Ted of the Hot, New Crime Procedural.
4. His flannel shirts- Oops. No, that goes on the list of
things *Dyelanders* are grateful for. Love the lovely flannel
If Andrew ever had
fantasized about being human a la Monica in "The Netherlands," a few
glimpses of the shippers' stories have definitely cured him of
2. His stress ball collection- Some kind soul left some of these
beauties on his desk. They've come in real handy when glimpsing
aforementioned stories. Although he did destroy one when he
inadvertently read a fic in which he's pretty sure he killed a guy over
1. Della Reese CDs- He plays them and pretends Tess is singing
especially to him... like she used to. Oh c'mon! You can't
have thought I'd write a top ten without something sappy!
And now for something we haven't
done for a very long time here at
JABB... An acrostic poem! I feel like I'm in grade school
again! Except 26 and crushing on a TV character. Seriously,
can someone think up another word? I feel that after 12 years I
deserve to use something more dignified than "crush." Oh well,
Andrew is much appreciated
by JABB is no surprise, I'm sure.
some might be
wondering how this feeling did endure.
time I get to pondering
this, I think of what, in him, I'm thankful for.
I hope you'll give a listen
as I explain why our Andrew I still adore.
there's the flannels
shirts and that darling, lone raised eye brow.
gentleness I've seldom
seen, such charm as only God could endow.
hair, enchanting olive
eyes and an awesome jacket of black leather,
and out he's got the
loveliest qualities that could ever come together.
tasseled shoes and
reticence and occasional issues with pride,
of turning me against
him they've all just left me more on his side!
will I be the same, in
fact, I think the angel's made me quite insane.
I miss him so and
hope I'll dream of him after my dose of tryptophane!
Yep, definitely insane.
ya'll think turkey-like substance
has tryptophane? Just
curious. Anyhow, part of why this newsletter is so rushed is
cause here in the States, Thanksgiving comes less than a full month
before Christmas. So I've been spending lotsa time decorating,
even before today's holiday, for Christmas. I enjoy it but it can get
overwhelming so I rely on helpful hints like "Photograph decorations
after they're up and use them as a guide the following year" and "Box
the decorations up by room." No doubt the same advice would be
helpful in Dyeland. But I bet they have their own helpful
tips. Maybe some like...
- Get creative with your Nativity display. While it's probably a
good idea to keep baby Jesus and family together, consider putting a
wiseman on the roof of the stable. Throw in an American bison and
a kangaroo for good measure. Why you might ask? Cause these
obvious goofs are sure to get Tess' attention. She'll no doubt
insist upon getting your three kings and cadre of cuddly animals in a
she's doing that you can
quiz her about why she's not more attentive to Andrew. This is
especially effective if you can manage to start crying.
- Ban mistletoe. It's just too risky given the number of angels
running around Dyeland. Instead, hang boughs of holly from the
ceiling and say that whomever steps under them has to hug.
Andrew's infinitely more comfortable with this arrangement. And
he needs hugs. Aww. Ditto for all the lovely, lovely AODs.
- Invite friends over to help. Start the day with breakfast and a
cappuccino bar. You'd be surprised how much hyped up angels and
humans can get done. And it may even bring a certain
coffee-loving angel named Monica outta the woodwork. You can ask
her to help you bring up boxes from the basement, corner her, and then
demand to know why she's not more attentive to Andrew. You
sensing a theme here yet?
- Sabotage a string of Christmas lights and then ask Andrew to fix them
for you. It's time consuming and as he struggles to figure out
which bulb is the culprit, you can sit with him and keep him
company. And ask him if he needs a hug. Or a talk? A
blankie? Does he need you to talk to someone for him?
How about undying and possibly maladaptive eternal love and
devotion? Cookies and milk?
May John Dye, wherever he is, know that we're thankful for all his
career has inspired!
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by
an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon
Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)