"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
~ Robert F. Kennedy

Hi all,

On August 24th I'll be sending CABB 8 in celebration of Charles Rocket's birthday.  So I've already been spending time working on that.  But, in the meantime, JABB 253 was due so I threw this together.  It seemed appropriate.  :-)

God bless,


Dyeland's Olympic Events

While I can't say I've ever formerly read the International Olympics Committee bylaws and such, I'm quite confident citizens of alternate dimensions are not permitted to participate in the Olympics nor host the momentous event.  So if the people of Dyeland ever got caught up in Olympic mania, I think they'd have to make up their own games.  And I have to wonder what "sports" they would include...

The Eponymiad- Players vie to create as many nicknames for Andrew as they can.  Scores will be awarded based on originality and wit.  In the event of a tie, players will need to generate nicknames for Adam.  Tess will judge so watch out!

Turkey Tango- Ballroom dancing.  With turkeys!  Adam will judge.

Umbrella Skating- It's the opening to "Rock n Roll Dad" on wheels!  I know I can't wait to see Andrew and the black umbrella's stunning routine set to Tess' rendition of "The Rose."

The Andrewathalon- Players will embark on a rigorous relay.  First, they must sprint to Andrew's side and offer consoling words after some reporter butchers his video footage.  Next, they'll move onto the staircase round during which they'll dash up a multi-floor staircase to reach (and comfort) a weeping Andrew at the top.  Finally, they'll run through the "Two Sides to Every Angel" woods, find Andrew, and give him a "You're a wonderful angel of death!" pep talk. 

Hurdles- No, not jumping over stuff.  Players will work as a team to get Andrew over his various emotional hurdles.  These include: the pride issue, the Granite Superhero Syndrome, and the full gamut of firstborn psychological traumas.  No medals will be given out after this event, just Kleenex (we're hoping an official sponsor of the Dyeland Olympics). 

Wrestling- Again, not what you're thinking.  This event would feature participants trying to wrestle that still-not-released Season 5 TBAA DVD set outta the hands of CBS Entertainment executives.  It will be followed by...

CBS Racing- Make it to the parking lot, with the DVD set, and into the escape car with out a CBS security guard getting either you or the DVDs!

Tug-of-war- Yes, Dyeland would bring back the sport that the official Olympics dropped in 1920.  Select Dyelanders will go up against Monica and try to drag her into the mud.  Ya know, as payback for not checking on Andrew in "The Journalist."  And for questioning him in "The Spirit of Liberty Moon."  And for being rude to him in "The One That Got Away."  Grrr...


Top Ten Things Most Likely to Happen if
Dyeland Competed in the Actual Olympics

10.  While other countries may hire their best designers to put together the team's Opening Ceremonies ensemble, Team Dyeland would go a different route: jeans and flannel.  Sure, a white suit would be equally appropriate and a lil more formal but... Andrew in a flannel shirt!!!  Course, if it's the Winter Olympics then jeans and cuddly beige sweaters would be just fine!

9.  In lieu of a national anthem, which Dyeland does not have, Newton Faulkner's "Dream Catch Me" is played after each win.

8.  Mick does his team proud when he comes in second place in the 100 meter dash.  He stands proudly on the podium as the silver medal is placed over his neck and... uh oh.  Ouch.

7.  NBC News receives an abundance of letters filled with choice words and post marked Dyeland when, during their Opening Ceremonies commentary, one of their reporters asks "Who's that hippie lumberjack carrying the flag for Team Dyeland?"

6.  Adam demands to inspect all the eateries at Olympic Village to ensure they're not serving turkey.

5.  There's a bit of a problem when thousands of Olympics TV viewers find themselves thinking "That bobsledder looks an awful lot like the glowing dude I saw wandering around the hospital..."

4.  Andrew enthralls the judges with his ice skating routine and wins the gold.  Unfortunately,  the women of Dyeland are forced to cancel their participation in all events after this as they all fainted rink-side and ended up with concussions.

3.  Being around gymnasts again, Andrew decides to resurrect his "A Delicate Balance" hairstyle.  It's a sad, sad day for the Dyelander women. 

2.  Let's all take a moment to consider how much of a stir Andrew's undone shirt buttons can cause.  Now let's consider this: swim suit.  Frankly, I don't even know what that'd bring about...

1.  Andrew fans all agree that the gold medal he won is lovely but not as lovely as his golden hair.  Awww!



(The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)