"I've run the gamut.
A to Z.
Three cheers and dammit,
C'est la vie.
I got through all of last year
And I'm here.
Lord knows, at least I was there,
And I'm here!
Look who's here!
I'm still here!"
~ "I'm Still Here" from Stephen Sondheim's Follies

Hi all,

Well, we made it!  JABB is 10 years old!  We're still here!  And I am beyond thrilled and hope I'm not the only one!  Congrats to one and all!  We've made it through TBAA's cancellation, Manion, web host upheaval, email problems galore, tragic passings, joyous celebrations, countless global crises, countless personal crises, and whatnot.  In other words: we are awesome!  I think I can safely say we are the single most successful online fan club devoted to an Angel of Death and the man who played him.  ;-)  But there's no sense in my just yammering on in this intro paragraph.  I'm gonna turn this over to my fellow JABBers to help us celebrate our decennial!

God bless,
Jenni

One thing I've noticed is that JABBers' are pretty darn good at sharing their thoughts and feelings.  So first up we have three members doing exactly that with....

Open Letters to JABBers

From Karen:

I can hardly believe it has been 10 yrs since 2 young teenagers started JABB.  There has been so much that has gone on.
 
Much ado about Andrew's haircuts.  Long, short, medium. It seemed like everyone had an opinion of one of them.
 
The murder trial that wasn't.  Jenni brought it to us and satisfied our cries.  It was just what our imaginations needed.
 
Jenni has now taken over the running of our list and Dyeland.  She has done a wonderful job and didn't have to.  Due to her hard work and dedication she has kept us entertained and amused and even thinking.
 
I have been a member for almost the whole 10 years and will continue to do so until Jenni calls it quits.
 
Here's my thank you to all who have participated over the years.  Peaked my imagination and made me laugh.  Some have brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you Jenni and all JABB members past and present who have contributed in some way.
 
God bless,
Karen

I was going to write another letter to all of you but I've done that in the past and that's kinda what the introductions of these newsletters also are.  So instead I decided to write the following.  I sometimes wonder what my 15 year old self would think about JABB *still* being here.  I dunno.  But I do know what I'd tell her about us if I could.  Here it is:

Dear 15 Year Old Self:

So there ya are, Loreena McKennitt CD playing, incense burning, and wondering what Junior year of high school will be like.  And also giggling over a 12 Step program you and your Internet buddies made up.  And you're wondering what's gonna happen now that it's been sent to dozens of people.  So I'll tell you.

The first couple years are gonna be a giggly, good time with over 200 people subscribing.  Sure, you'll get the random person that sends an angry email cause they feel you should be reporting actual JD news (which, btw, if you're thinking you're lacking that now... just wait.  You don't know what news drought is, kiddo!)  But mostly it'll be a lot of fun people and late nights chatting about hair and various shirts and how you'll probly never, ever date cause there's just no way anyone will ever equal Andrew.  But then something will happen...

It's not that Andrew will become less cute/handsome.  It's not that TBAA will suddenly be awful.  It's not even that people will be less enthusiastic and you'll struggle to get feedback or submissions for newsletters (although that will happen at times but try not to panic).  You'll simply lose interest.  Somewhere between the high school diploma and assorted college credit hours, you'll think about Andrew a lil less.  You'll wonder why you were ever that upset about "The Journalist."  You'll even goof up and forget to tape a couple TBAA episodes while you're out.  You'll still write JABB newsletters.  Later you won't really remember what you wrote but you got it sent and that's the important part.  But it'll seem like a drain on your already diminishing free time and, really, is Andrew that much more compelling than Daphne and Niles' will-they-or-won't-they?  And Mr. Darcy is awfully attractive and maybe it's better to daydream about Pemberly than sympathetically sitting on staircases or running frantically down alleys in pursuit of that lone, golden figure.  But then...

Word comes out that TBAA is canceled.  Each episode now seems precious.  And you remember the last scenes of "Portrait of a Lady" which you watched twice, not because you enjoyed it, but because Christian Bale has a small part and, of course, you MUST watch every Christian Bale movie.  Remember the part where Isabel finally pulls herself together and ditches all those guys she'd been swooning over and returns to Ralph who she really shoulda stayed with the whole time?  And then Ralph dies.  Well, it's like that!  Cept Andrew's immortal and can't get struck down by TB or even cancellation.  Happy day! 

So that's just my very odd way of saying: don't give up.  The inspiration will come when it needs to.  And guess what?  More people will come!  Friends, truly.  And there'll be something called Dyeland which will just be plain awesome!  It's not that you'll never get frustrated but people will help you through that.  And they'll also help talk you down when you go ballistic over the slight against Andrew that you've noticed most recently. 

Oh and, btw, you will never, ever date cause there really is just no way anyone will ever equal Andrew.  ;-)

God bless,
Jenni at 25

Things We Love about JABB

My top ten favorite JABB memories or things that make JABB so special.

1.  I think that one of the things I loved most about JABB was the ability to leave the group for a small duration of time, and then return again. It was that feeling of coming home that really stands out in my mind.  It is sort of like being away on a journey and then returning to the bond of friendship that had somehow permeated the group.

2.  Along those same lines, the knowing that although my faith and philosophies are different than that of other members of the group, I am accepted.  I know that people don’t always agree with me, but there is a mutual understanding that my beliefs are right for me and respect for that.  Given my experiences, this is a rarity in the overall TBAA fandom.

3.  Being able to be serious and write about real life and real issues, but at the same time also being able to play a little in a fantasy-like place that is created by the members of the group.  When I first found a place where both Andrew and Vincent hung out, I was elated and knew instinctively that I was going to have some serious fun here...and I have.

4.  I will freely admit that winning one of the contests has been a personal highlight as well as a great memory for me.  It is perhaps because I spent so much time researching the answers, but also because it was a very interesting time for me.  I had been back in the group for less than half a year and then I won a contest.  It was a nice feeling, and the prize was a wonderful reminder to me that I was in a place where I belonged.

5.  I will always remember the exploration of relationships with other people that I got through this group.  JABB helped me in some ways accept the passing of my father, but there were also aspects of this group that helped me embrace that his passing was simply a passing and not some cause / effect thing.  In other areas of the fandom, it was displayed as some sort of punishment.  JABB, in many ways, helped me find healing through the underlying message of the show.

6.  The group is fun, and while it goes through changes, it somehow remains true to what TBAA was truly about; platonic friends, embracing the love of a Creator who is unconditional, and keeping things fun.  There was never a place for condemnation of others, there was just friends having fun, agreeing to disagree and sharing a bond of friendship.

7.  Another fond memory that I have found here is the overwhelming support; not just the prayerful support, but the overall acknowledgment of issues and the discussion of them.  I have come to realize that in the ten-year-history of JABB, we have discussed issues of annoying neighbors, the loss of a pet, illness, depression, job woes, and the list goes on and on.  How many groups online can honestly profess to such a loving support system as this?  That makes JABB stand out.

8.  My favorite Dyeland memories were perhaps bringing in Nigel and Willy to the story.  I had dappled around with other characters, but these two are so special to me and they are characters that I dearly love.  Nigel because I was able to acknowledge my guardian angel and his presence in my life.  Through writing Willy Wonka as a character in Dyeland, I have been able to live out an internalized fantasy that I have had since I was a child…that is having and sharing a relationship with a paternal figure. (In real life, that is embodied in my father-in-law.)  But, to use these characters in Dyeland has become a very special feeling for me.

9.  As an extension of number eight, through the fantasy of Dyeland, I have become a better writer.  I have used the characters as a way of developing their stories, and trying to bring out and make them seem real and tangible.  In writing, whether it be fan fiction or original works, this is very difficult.  In fact, Dyeland has helped me with regards to character development, so there is something quite nice about being 37 and still being able to tap into one’s fantasy at will.

10.  Friendship, understanding, JABB…it’s one of the greatest groups online, and one that I will stay with until the final curtain falls…in say 40 or 50 years? 

From Jenni:

Beyond the letter I knew I wanted to write, I also wanted to include some sort of list.  The prospect of "My Favorite JABB Memories" made me nervous that I'd forget something and make someone feel left out.  Then I thought maybe I should restrict myself to the newsletters which are all documented and so it's not like one can just go missing.  But "My Favorite JABB Newsletters" didn't seem quite right, either.  So I'm going with "The JABB Newsletters I Am Most Proud Of."  These may not even be newsletters I particularly like.  But each one represents a milestone for JABB and so, yes, I'm proud of them.  And, in many cases, several of you should be, too!

1.  JABB 1- There's nothing particularly spectacular or original about it.  But I'm proud of the fact that a couple teenagers had the guts to send out and later put on the web something like that, not knowing what the reaction would be.  I can't speak for Audrey but, by and large, I'm pretty happy with this 10 year reaction we've gotten!

2.  JABB 11- "A Christmas Carol JABB Style" is the first story that made its way into a JABB newsletter.  It's one thing to write a few short form jokes, introducing stories into our repertoire was kinda scary.  Also, the annual Christmas story parodies/allusions is one of our oldest traditions and starts right here!

3.  JABB 28- While I remain horrified that we wrote John into this story, it *is* the first Dyeland story.  And I'm just not sure we'd even still have JABB without Dyeland.  Course, I do feel the need to now point out that "John" in Dyeland stories was later revealed to be George, a local actor Cliff (the lonely magician) paid off to pretend to be JD so the Dyelanders wouldn't desert.  So sayeth I.  ;-)

4.  JABB 51- We tried our hands at topical humor.  The contentious Gore/Bush campaign inspired an Adam/Andrew campaign.  But really I'm proud of it cause it marks the beginning of a shift away from "John"  aka George and to Andrew.  While "John" makes a few more appearances, the JABB we know (and hopefully love) today begins with this issue, in my mind.

5.  JABB 57-  Introduction of the Dyeland Map!!!

6.  JABB 76- This was our first newsletter after 9-11.  Not only was I heartened by the generosity many JABBers showed in supporting our charity efforts, but going back to being goofy after that was hard but necessary and so we did it.  So this one really makes me feel proud of us as a group.

7.  JABB 106- Word comes that TBAA is in its final season.  Yet we survive... and even flourish!  I like this one cause it seems to hit a good balance between sweetly elegiac and absurdly comedic.  I'm proud of it cause it's so hopeful.

8.  JABB 110- Doubly proud of this one.  Not only is it the first post-TBAA newsletter but it's also the last appearance of "John."  About time! 

9.  JABB 127- I even freaked myself out with this one.  I got chills writing the first half with the demonic Andrew and the eerie dialogue between the adults and the lil girl clutching the pocket watch.  That's why I like this one.  But I'm proud of it cause I remember people speaking up and helping to design Andrew's new pocket watch.  Yay for teamwork!

10.  JABB 159- Not only does this one tell how Andrew first met the Dyelanders, but it's the first newsletters to feature photos of Andrew and not just animated gifs.  All thanks to Jess!

11.  JABB 163- I finally pulled myself together and really tackled the "Andrew on Trial" idea.  My only regret is that I'd love to try the idea out now with the current Dyelanders.  But it just ain't right to have Andrew arrested each time membership changes!

12.  CABB 2- While JABB 76 may have been the hardest newsletter to begin, I think this one was the hardest one to write.  But I think those of us who wrote did a beautiful job and showed Mr. Rocket the honor he deserves.  Thank you to everyone who participated or who encouraged those who did.  And thank you, Charles Rocket.

13.  JABB 194- The witch trial issue.  Okay, so maybe I'm just proud of myself for reading hundreds of pages of trial documents without going insane. 

14.  JABB 200- Beyond the obvious, being proud for reaching 200!, the fact that 8 different people helped write this one is pretty amazing!

15.  JABB 206- This was actually kinda complicated and very time-consuming to pull off.  But it's one I still enjoy rereading.  So thanks again to Jess and Liz for helping!  Now if only I could get Andrew to really watch "The Journalist" with me...

16.  JABB 208- First, I'm proud of myself for writing anything at all since I was crazy-stressed at the time.  Second, I think this is the first JABB newsletter that really integrates Author's Cut content with a newsletter.  Thanks to Yvette, there were two Christmas stories that year!

17.  CABB 5- I'm actually proud of all the CABBs so listing only 2 here seems wrong but I can't list everything.  If I did it would just be a detailed TOC.  Anyhow, I'm proud of this one cause Yvette and I were both funny here.  Well, she was.  I can only hope I was!  CABB 3 had been a lovely tribute and even CABB 4 was pretty sedated.  But the fact that we were able to come back and say "Ya know, it's okay to do a funny, light CABB" is just another way of continuing Mr. Rocket's legacy.

18.  JABB 224- Again, happy that I pulled this one off since I was really stressed at the time.  But mostly I'm proud of it cause it was very much a group effort.  The story there features the input of, I think, every last person who was playing Dyeland at the time.  Pretty cool! 

19.  JABB 239- It takes JABB 224 a step further.  Not only did every last person playing Dyeland give input, every last person playing Dyeland actually wrote the answers to their characters' interview questions.  A bit of an undertaking but I think the end-product makes it all worthwhile!  I just really love how all the characters shone in this one. 

20.  JABB 251- 10 years.  Enough said.  Thanks everyone!

Things We've Learned and Who We Are

Nicole wrote:

Things I Have Learned at JABB:

-  That the phrase “love the lovely [insert word]” should be embroidered on everything from pillow cases to t-shirts.

-  That claiming Andrew as your boyfriend is okay if some creepy guy is hitting on you while you’re out with the Loveliness.

-  That Andrew has many, many different nicknames. Including; Lovely Angel, Loveliness, Swan Boat, Lovely One, and a bunch of others I can’t think of at the moment. But they probably have the word “lovely” in them, too. Which leads me to…

-  That the word “lovely” is probably one of the most overused words at JABB. But it’s a good word, so that’s okay.

-  That I can blame anything on Jenni if I really want to and think ridiculously enough.

-  That oldest siblings should hang a sign on their bedroom door that reads: "Thou shalt not be very emotional if thou art the Andrew of one's family."

-  That in his old age, Andrew tends to forget about the top buttons on his shirts. And that no one should ever remind him that they’re there!

-  That if I don’t discipline myself and keep up with my responses, I will end up massively behind. Meaning, like, 100 pages behind!

-  That caffeine is not what keeps me awake at night after an Andrew-a-thon!

-  Andrew looks wonderful in flannel shirts (and anything else) and I may feel the strong urge to buy him shirts whilst out shopping.

-  Dyeland is awesome. And I wanna live there.

-  That Eben must be mentally ill to turn his back on Andrew.

-  Having a vampire in Dyeland doesn’t surprise me. Nor does the fact that Willy Wonka lives there, too.

-  That when Andrew gets tongue-tied, he is even more adorable than usual!

-  That Yvette can write awesomely cool stories and still write JABB stuff, too!

-  That my sister can ask really stupid JABB questions.

-  The topic of Andrew’s hair never gets old.

-  Dissecting episodes of TBAA is a really fun thing to do, though maybe not quite as productive…

-  That JABB has a dictionary.

-  That Andrew is kinda like a ghost who haunts JABBers sometimes. But that’s okay!

-  Monica does not know how to treat Andrew. And if she does know, that’s even worse cause she’s not doing it right.

-  That birth order is a very interesting topic and does apply to Andrew and Monica.

-  Andrew seems to suffer from First Born Syndrome and it makes me feel even more sappy and devoted towards him. Poor love…

-  That Andrew is the Swan Boat of JABB.

-  That I would probably go broke if I got all the t-shirts and stuff I wanted from the JABB store.

-  That JABB has a playlist and after listening to it so much, I can associate almost any song I hear with Andrew and/or Dyeland now. I wonder if that’s bad…

-  That JABB is a really great group. The people in it care about each other and accept each other’s obsessions and craziness, even if we might scare other people. ;-) And I am very proud to get to take part in the 10th anniversary!

Sorrow wrote:

I stumbled upon JABB quite by accident while surfing the net one boring lunchtime at work.  I’m so glad I did!  Not only did I enjoy giggling along with the newsletters, but I quickly found myself immersed in a group of wonderful people with kindness and light in their hearts.  It couldn’t have come at a better time for me.

Although I’m sort of quiet these days, (life hasn’t given me much time), I do visit everyday and read the posts.  It’s part of a routine I’m not willing to part with.  In the spirit of JABB’s anniversary, and my personal fondness of the 'top 10 lists', I would like to contribute some of the lessons I’ve picked up here.  And so, with no further delay, I give you…

Ten Things I’ve Learned From JABB

1) Green shirts on gorgeous men make for a wonderful pastime.  Hours and hours of fun imaginations!

2) The right tool belt on the right hips can cause a swooning panic among women that lasts for months… years, even!

3) It’s very easy to make Andrew blush.

4) No celebrity should ever, ever cut his hair without first conducting a thorough poll among his fans!  It’s just not fair!

5) What do you mean there was never really a murder trial?  Sure there was!  It happened!  Right?

6) Sitting on the stairs to cry is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.

7) Like all Androolers, I now know precisely what to do during a tornado warning.

8) Andrew gingerbreads are amazing!  See?  There’s even one with a little, wee, green shirt!  *squeal*

9) Never mention those tassels on the shoes.  Just don’t!  *shivers*

10) Great friends are always waiting to share their John Dye/Andrew love with you, along with warm laughs, strong support and wonderful memories.

Thanks to everyone for their dedication to this wonderful place.

From Yvette:

You know you’re a JABBer if:

1.  You can freely visualize how Vincent and Mick St. John are hosting a chess tournament with Willy and Adam, while Yva, Rose, and Lady JenniAnn sit around on the chamber floor making window decorations for the Yvavator.

2.  Dyeland and Real life parallel in an almost creepy and uncanny way.  You start asking yourself if it was real or if it happened in Dyeland.

3.  You want to go to London just to see if you can find Willy’s factory, or Nigel’s flat, or to New York to search for the Tunnels, or LA to see if you can hire Mick to help you find Dyeland, because you desperately need to talk to Andrew about borrowing his tool belt.

4.  You have drool buckets in every room of your house, and use them quite regularly.

5.  There was life after TBAA, but it’s filled with male angels, turkeys, tool belts, vampires and a plethora of other unrelated things, but you still insist that it is OK, because it’s Dyeland.

6.  For every question in life you ask:  ‘What would Andrew / Adam do / say if…?’

7.  You adapt to such words as ‘luscious’, ‘love the lovely angel’ and other JABBesque vocabulary words.  As an extension of that, you insist that ‘probably’ is spelled wrong and will even argue the point with your high school English teacher.

8.  You love Immortals and ‘My Immortal’ is your ring tone on your cell phone because it makes you think of Andrew, Mick, Adam, Nigel, etc.

9.  You abhor angel shipping to the umpteenth degree and are known to write or make videos outlining that particular dislike.

10.  You are three dozen postings behind and you realize that they are all for the very same list and not for Joe and Suzie whom you haven’t written to in six months because you try to prioritize.  Perhaps Joe and Suzie will now think about joining JABB as well so they can at least stay in touch with you.

Finally, it seems only right to end this celebratory newsletter with a few words to God.  God's love for us was the message behind every episode of TBAA.  I think I speak for many of us when I say it was that message which made me a fan and, by extension, a JABBer.

And a Prayer for the Future...

Dear Father:

We thank You for the past 10 years You have given us as a group. 

We're grateful for the laughter we've shared.  May the memory of it be with us all for years to come, bringing light to trying days.

We're grateful for the tears we've shed.  May the memory of the consolation and compassion we found here encourage us through other trials.

We rejoice in the gift of friends we've made who continue to inspire, encourage, and love us.

We celebrate also those who have left us.  May their memory remind us to make the most of each moment and each conversation.

Finally, we're thankful for "Touched by an Angel" for bringing us together and to all those people who made it possible.  May its central message, that You love us, always find us.

As we face our future, we ask You to be with us and guide us.  May our jokes bring laughter to those desperately in need of a chuckle or two.  May our stories bring healing and understanding to ourselves and each other.  May our play provide needed escape from the real world.  Yet, may we always recognize and praise You for the beauty that is our lives and our world.

Though Andrew, Adam, and all the rest are fictional, they gave us a glimpse of the compassion, devotion, and love of Your angels.  May we always remember the reality behind the TV show and to never take for granted Your love or theirs.  Whatever time we have left as a group, we dedicate it to You and Your angels.

Amen. 

JABB TOC

JABB 252

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)